Guest guest Posted September 24, 2002 Report Share Posted September 24, 2002 Came across this Church Humour on the internet............................jay SIGNS ON CHURCH PROPERTY " No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace. " " Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside! " " Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here! " An ad for a Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, " For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets. " " Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one! " " Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush! " " How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking? " " Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives " : " Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world. " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Beautiful One-liners Give God what's right -- not what's left. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. When praying, don't give God instructions -- just report for duty. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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