Ill father

[Guest guest]

My father had a stroke October 4th. In medical terms it was very

severe because he had part of his left brain removed which

deals with communication, thought process, speech, and

comprehension. He's no longer coherent since having the

brain surgery. It was the only thing that would save his life

because the clot on his brain was the size of a tennis ball and

caused an enormous amount of pressure on his brain.

Before this he was already sick, and on dialysis for about 4

years.

 

Here's is my great dilemma.

 

I wonder if I even have the right to ask God for my dad to have a

full recovery? I say this because my dad did not take care of

himself when he became sick. He knew that his lifestyle

needed to change and he decided that he was going to do what

he wanted to do anyway (he thought that he would only live

once). Are my prayers futile? Is this God's way of saying that my

father has to learn his lesson? (I understand that my father did

this to himself, and it is not a punishment from God) Is this his

way of removing his pride (dad was a very arrogant man)? I

know all things are possible through God. I guess I am just

wondering if this is God's, will what right do I have to ask that it

be changed? If he will only get better to do what he did before

the stroke, why should God even grant the request? Why should

I even ask God to? It would be heart breaking if my Dad had a

full recovery and led the same life again. It would be like spitting

in the face of God and I don't want him to spit in God's face. I

want him to be my dad again.

 

 

Any thoughts or words of wisdom/encouragement are truly

welcome.

 

 

Sorry I have not posted on this site before. I have mostly been

busy with dad @ the hospital.

 

 

 

Namasté,

 

 

 

Ellyn

 

If you want peace, then do not look into anybody's faults.

Look into your own faults. Learn to make the world your own.

No one is a stranger, the whole world is your own.

 

-------Sri Sarada Devi (Holy Mother)

[Guest guest]

Hullo,

Firstly please accept my words of consolation(for whatever they are worth) and then may I proceed to say my bit??

Praying to God for your father's recovery is your bidding. How your father behaves after, and if, he recovers, is his 'prarabdha'. That is not yours to question. That the Almighty has already ordained. Nay, your father's 'karmas' have already decided that. So that should not be an excuse for you not to pray for his recovery.

Secondly, our parents, however good or bad they may be in their own lives have been there for us come hell or high water and now in his hour of need you should be there in body, mind and soul for him.

I shall pray for his recovery/relief from pain. May Hari bless your father. May Thakurji guide you well.

scribe57 Properties Special Buy, sell, rent...your flat, or even post an ad

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your reply. I will continue to pray for his full

recovery. I just want his life to get better all around. I know that

is up to him to decide and I will keep that in mind so that I am not

trying to impose my will, but let gods will be done.

 

 

Namasté,

 

 

 

 

Ellyn

 

 

 

 

On Wednesday, October 23, 2002, at 09:05 AM, scribe wrote:

 

> Hullo,

>

> Firstly please accept my words of consolation(for whatever they are

> worth) and then may I proceed to say my bit??

>

> Praying to God for your father's recovery is your bidding. How your

> father behaves after, and if, he recovers, is his 'prarabdha'. That is

> not yours to question. That the Almighty has already ordained. Nay,

> your father's 'karmas' have already decided that. So that should not be

> an excuse for you not to pray for his recovery.

>

> Secondly, our parents, however good or bad they may be in their own

> lives have been there for us come hell or high water and now in his

> hour of need you should be there in body, mind and soul for him.

>

> I shall pray for his recovery/relief from pain. May Hari bless your

> father. May Thakurji guide you well.

>

> scribe57

>

Properties Special Buy, sell, rent...your flat, or even post

an ad

>

 

>

>

> Sri Ramakrishnaye Namah

> Vivekananda Centre London

> http://www.vivekananda.co.uk

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Ellyn,

 

In this context, one should read the story of Pundarika. The Lord

(Krishna) himself wanted to find out who was the greatest care-taker

of one's parents in the country and he came to Pundarika's house.

 

Inspite of the Lord being at his door-step, Pundarika paid attention

only to his sick and aged parents. He asked the Lord to keep waiting

till he gets done. Finally, when the parents themselves asked who was

at their door, PUndarika said, it was Lord Krishna.

 

Being impressed with Pundarika, the Lord stood there and blessed him.

The Lord is impressed and satisfied when someone looks upon services

to one's parents as high as service to God himself.

 

Now with respect to your dad, my opinion is that old-age and

afflictions are natural and one day all of us will be in that stage.

It is inevitable. Its a law of nature, whether one leads a pious life

or life of a heretic.

 

But being a devotee of Thakur and the Lord and being someone with

strong belief in God and his grace, I think, you could do something

like chanting God's names sitting beside your dad. Whether he can

listen to it or not is a different thing.

 

Maybe reading the Gita or chanting " Ram Nam " or even playing cassettes

of the " Srimad Bhagavatam " is probably the best one could do.

 

In the story of Ajamila who while in his death-bed accidentally calls

out his son (who has a name of the Lord). The Lord's messengers

immediately come to his rescue and argue against the messengers of

the God of Hell and say that once a person has called out God's name,

he cannot go to hell.

 

Ajamila, being a Brahmin and from a pious family, had committed all

the types of offences in his life, for which there are no remedies

mentioned in any of VEdas or Dharma Shastras. Inspite of all that, by

merely calling out the Lord's name accidentally, he was saved.

 

Radhe Krishna

 

-- Pradeep

[Guest guest]

Dear Ms. Ellyn:

 

I am deeply moved by your deep love an concern for your ailing father.

 

You have raised some serious points too. Perhaps, these crises give us an opportunity to look for deeper meaning of life. Anyway, I am not at all fit to sermonize in this occasion. But when you ask whether you have any right to pray to God for the recovery of your father (his apparent carelessness notwithstanding), I will ask you back "Why not? Who can deprive you of your eternal right to pray to God under any circumstances whatsoever? Whose permission are you seeking? Did God ever tell you that "No Ellyn, you are a sinner and so is your father. You have no right to pray to Me?" Ellyn, only God can tell whether you have any right to pray to Him or not. Unfortunately, God, the Almighty cannot do only one thing. He cannot turn a deaf ear to his own children under distress in any conditions. In fact, these adversities come to us simply to test how strong is our relationship with God. So, don't loose this great opportunity God Himself have sent to you. This is the time: pray, pray and pray. Cry to God (in whatever name and form you like) with all sincerity. God will listen to sincere prayers. Remember, you are the dearest child of God. He loves you most.

 

About the second doubt, I can only say what little I have learnt from the teachings of Swami Vivekananda. He has taught us that it is not your father who is lying in front of you in the sickbed. Whom you mistakenly consider your father is none but the God himself! Now, if he is the God, you may wonder--Why should he suffer, then? Frankly, He has no reason to. But, see the greatness of God! In spite of His eternal glory, He is suffering in the form of your father (otherwise, how would you get Him in this world?) simply to give you, his child, an opportunity to serve him. Be wise, utilize this great opportunity, serve him with all your might as if he is the God Himself and be free within no time. Don't allow your mind to play any trick with you at this critical moment.

 

You feel that your father may revert to some of his old habit if cured by your prayer (I am sure, he will be cured by your sincere prayer coupled with God's grace) and you apprehend that would tantamount to "spitting on God's face." Never, my dear, never would it happen. Pray to God again for a change in his habits you consider detrimental to his health. You will see the effect yourself. Prayers can do miracles, even today. Try it for yourself, you need not believe me. "Those who take refuge in me will never be in any trouble whatsoever" says the God in Gita. Try it in your own life.

 

I am also praying to God for the speedy recovery of your father.

 

Regards

 

TP Bagchi

 

-

 

consciouseater

Ramakrishna

Wednesday, October 23, 2002 9:27 AM

[sri Ramakrishna] Ill father

My father had a stroke October 4th. In medical terms it was very severe because he had part of his left brain removed which deals with communication, thought process, speech, and comprehension. He's no longer coherent since having the brain surgery. It was the only thing that would save his life because the clot on his brain was the size of a tennis ball and caused an enormous amount of pressure on his brain. Before this he was already sick, and on dialysis for about 4 years. Here's is my great dilemma. I wonder if I even have the right to ask God for my dad to have a full recovery? I say this because my dad did not take care of himself when he became sick. He knew that his lifestyle needed to change and he decided that he was going to do what he wanted to do anyway (he thought that he would only live once). Are my prayers futile? Is this God's way of saying that my father has to learn his lesson? (I understand that my father did this to himself, and it is not a punishment from God) Is this his way of removing his pride (dad was a very arrogant man)? I know all things are possible through God. I guess I am just wondering if this is God's, will what right do I have to ask that it be changed? If he will only get better to do what he did before the stroke, why should God even grant the request? Why should I even ask God to? It would be heart breaking if my Dad had a full recovery and led the same life again. It would be like spitting in the face of God and I don't want him to spit in God's face. I want him to be my dad again.Any thoughts or words of wisdom/encouragement are truly welcome.Sorry I have not posted on this site before. I have mostly been busy with dad @ the hospital.Namasté,EllynIf you want peace, then do not look into anybody's faults.Look into your own faults. Learn to make the world your own.No one is a stranger, the whole world is your own.-------Sri Sarada Devi (Holy Mother)Sri Ramakrishnaye NamahVivekananda Centre Londonhttp://www.vivekananda.co.uk

[Guest guest]

dear all,

 

while reading on the topic of illness of the father of

ellyn, some thoughts have struck me.

 

suppose someone is very ill and is suffering for a

very prolonged period,

 

suppose there is a genuine well wisher who prays fior

his release from pain through death, is he thinking

wrong ? often the world treats and casts him as cruel

and inhumane.

 

well, there may other ways of looking at this kind of

a scenario. i would be thankful for any views.

 

chella

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Ramakrishna, gayatri chellamani <gayat52> wrote:

>

>

> well, there may other ways of looking at this kind of

> a scenario. i would be thankful for any views.

>

 

Namaste,

 

Here are two views from the pen of Ravindranathji:

 

 

GRANT ME

 

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be

fearless in facing them.

 

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the

heart to conquer it.

 

Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield but to

my own strength.

 

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved but

hope for the patience to win my freedom.

 

Grant me that I may not be coward, feeling your mercy

in my success alone; but let me find the

grasp of your hand in my failure.

 

Rabindranath Tagore

 

COMPASSION, AN EXAMPLE

 

Upagupta, the disciple of Buddha, lay asleep in

the dust by the city wall of Mathura.

Lamps were all out, doors were all shut, and

stars were all hidden by the murky sky of August.

Whose feet were those tinkling with anklets,

touching his breast of a sudden?

He woke up startled, and a light from a woman's

lamp fell on his forgiving eyes.

It was dancing girl, starred with jewels,

Wearing a pale blue mantle, drunk with the wine

of her youth.

She lowered her lamp and saw young face

austerely beautiful.

" Forgive me, young ascetic, " said the woman,

" Graciously come to my house. The dusty earth

is not fit bed for you. "

The young ascetic answered, " Woman,

go on your way;

When the time is ripe I will come to you. "

Suddenly the black night showed its teeth

in a flash of lightning.

The storm growled from the corner of the sky, and

The woman trembled in fear of some unknown danger.

 

* . *

A year has not yet passed.

It was evening of a day in April,

in spring season.

The branches of the way side trees were full of blossom.

Gay notes of a flute came floating in the

warm spring air from a far.

The citizens had gone to the woods for the

festival of flowers.

From the mid sky gazed the full moon on the

shadows of the silent town.

The young ascetic was walking along the lonely street,

While overhead the love-sick koels uttered from the

mango branches their sleepless plaint.

Upagupta passed through the city gates, and

stood at the base of the rampart.

Was that a woman lying at his feet in the

shadow of the mango grove?

Stuck with black pestilence, her body

spotted with sores of small-pox,

She had been hurriedly removed from the town

To avoid her poisonous contagion.

The ascetic sat by her side, took her head

on his knees,

And moistened her lips with water, and

smeared her body with sandal balm.

" Who are you, merciful one? " asked the woman.

" The time, at last, has come to visit you, and

I am here, " replied the young ascetic.

 

Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

 

Regards,

 

Sunder

[Guest guest]

Dear Chella,

I wonder what would make the person think that death would end the

suffering. That's pretty materialistic. The physical pain might be ended,

but the karma from which we " suffer " is not so easy to escape; what about

rebirth, and in another suffering form? Would it not be probable for that

person?

It is our obligation to try to remove the suffering of others, but probably

not by wishing their death.

Swami Yogeshananda