More News about my dad

[Guest guest]

Greetings all,

 

I have written to the group earlier about my father. We have been told

by the doctors that he has Lung and Liver Cancer. They say he has about

6 months to live. Of course they can't say for sure only God knows.

It's very difficult to see my father lose 30+ pounds in a month and look

like a skeleton. He's not eating very much, the cancer takes away he

appitite. He hasn't walked in over a month, and yesterday he couldn't

stand, his legs weren't strong enough. He looks like the life is gone

from him.

 

Yesterday when my little sister, my daughter and I went to see him (He's

in a nursing home for rehab) he told us that it's okay for his mother to

give him a funeral. He also said he wanted to see his apartment again

so that he could remember it. With him having a terminal illness I

wonder if it would cause him more pain to go on like this. I think that

God has extended his life beyond the stroke so that we can have a chance

to say good bye to him, so that we have a chance to make more good

memories with him. Many people don't get a chance to say good bye to

their loved ones before they pass.

 

I was reading in Paramahansa Yogananda's Spiritual Diary and there is a

passage on November 4th that says:

 

It is not wrong to tell the Lord that we want something, but it shows

greater faith if we simply say: Heavenly Father I know that thou Dost

anticipate my every need. Sustain me according to thy will.

 

 

Of course I would like to see my father overcome terminal cancer and

live a long healthy life, it is as he told me yesterday I can't make him

change his habits. The thing is he doesn't know he has cancer yet and

we don't know if it would do more harm than good to tell him. He has

been a strong man in the past but on some level he seems to feel that

death is near.

 

 

can someone give me words of advice again?

[Guest guest]

My dear ELLYN ,

 

I read your e mail and felt very sad.

 

Please let me tell you the little I know about life

from first hand experience.

 

Nobody in this world deliberately chooses the path to

misery.Nobody...Nobody...Nobody.If someone behaves in

a particular way,,he does so thinking that that way is

the best way for him - whether it is or not is another

matter.His judgement of action and his choice of

action are determined by the type of guna

(Disposition)and karma(the type of action he performed

earlier,and performs now).These two bring in vasanas

(strong habits approximatey translating )which impel

each and every individual to perform the type of

action he is performing to reap the karma phalam (the

results of his previous actions,be they good or bad,

in terms of pain and pleasure). The present state of

Pain or Pleasure is only the result of his previous

actions only.Therefore ,the best course of action is

not to be bitter or remorseful about what

happened.Pray God to bestow strength and

discrimination to your father and to yourself so that

he will lead you in the best possible way.

 

Afer all, everything is time bound in this world and

so everything will be eaten away by Time.So cultivate

the habit of watching the world dispassionately and

you will see a world of difference , a world of peace

and quietude.

 

Please ask your father to search within about WHO is

enjoying and WHO is suffering.Ask him to locate his

consciousness and abide in it. You also try and do it.

It will by the grace of God lead you in the right

direction.This world is transient.It is a scientific

and philosophical truth.So locate the experiencer of

this transience. Then You will Know that even this

experiencer is also a myth. Then all these myths

vanish.

 

Please read Sri Sankara's books for your father. All

of us suffer from one or the other badd habit.The

greatest disease is AHAMKARA,THE I-NESS, I am happy,

Iam unhappy, I am right ,you are wrong, etc.Get out of

it. You will be at once happy.Leave your father to God

and do not bother him too much.

 

 

 

With love to your father and your family.

 

May Sri Sankara's wisdom be transmitted to you all.

 

Chilukuri Bhuvaneswar

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- Ellyn Nikkia Gray <sunlotus wrote:

<HR>

<html><body>

 

 

<tt>

Greetings all,<BR>

<BR>

I have written to the group earlier about my

father. & nbsp; We have been told <BR>

by the doctors that he has Lung and Liver

Cancer. & nbsp; They say he has about <BR>

6 months to live. & nbsp; Of course they can't say for

sure only God knows. & nbsp; <BR>

It's very difficult to see my father lose 30+ pounds

in a month and look <BR>

like a skeleton. & nbsp; He's not eating very much, the

cancer takes away he <BR>

appitite. & nbsp; He hasn't walked in over a month, and

yesterday he couldn't <BR>

stand, his legs weren't strong enough. & nbsp; He looks

like the life is gone <BR>

from him.<BR>

<BR>

Yesterday when my little sister, my daughter and I

went to see him (He's <BR>

in a nursing home for rehab) he told us that it's okay

for his mother to <BR>

give him a funeral. & nbsp; He also said he wanted to

see his apartment again <BR>

so that he could remember it. & nbsp; With him having a

terminal illness I <BR>

wonder if it would cause him more pain to go on like

this. & nbsp; I think that <BR>

God has extended his life beyond the stroke so that we

can have a chance <BR>

to say good bye to him, so that we have a chance to

make more good <BR>

memories with him. & nbsp; Many people don't get a

chance to say good bye to <BR>

their loved ones before they pass.<BR>

<BR>

I was reading in Paramahansa Yogananda's Spiritual

Diary and there is a <BR>

passage on November 4th that says:<BR>

<BR>

It is not wrong to tell the Lord that we want

something, but it shows <BR>

greater faith if we simply say: & nbsp; Heavenly Father

I know that thou Dost <BR>

anticipate my every need. & nbsp; Sustain me according

to thy will.<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

Of course I would like to see my father overcome

terminal cancer and <BR>

live a long healthy life, it is as he told me

yesterday I can't make him <BR>

change his habits. & nbsp; The thing is he doesn't know

he has cancer yet and <BR>

we don't know if it would do more harm than good to

tell him. & nbsp; He has <BR>

been a strong man in the past but on some level he

seems to feel that <BR>

death is near.<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

can someone give me words of advice again?<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

</tt>

 

 

<br>

<tt>

Sri Ramakrishnaye Namah<BR>

Vivekananda Centre London<BR>

<a

href= " http://www.vivekananda.co.uk " >http://www.vivekananda.co.uk</a></tt>

<br>

 

<br>

<tt>

[Guest guest]

Ramakrishna, Ellyn Nikkia Gray <sunlotus@s...> wrote:

> Greetings all,

>

> I have written to the group earlier about my father. We have been

told

> by the doctors that he has Lung and Liver Cancer. They say he has

about

> 6 months to live. Of course they can't say for sure only God

knows.

> It's very difficult to see my father lose 30+ pounds in a month and

look

> like a skeleton. He's not eating very much, the cancer takes away

he

> appitite. He hasn't walked in over a month, and yesterday he

couldn't

> stand, his legs weren't strong enough. He looks like the life is

gone

> from him.

>

> Yesterday when my little sister, my daughter and I went to see him

(He's

> in a nursing home for rehab) he told us that it's okay for his

mother to

> give him a funeral. He also said he wanted to see his apartment

again

> so that he could remember it. With him having a terminal illness I

> wonder if it would cause him more pain to go on like this. I think

that

> God has extended his life beyond the stroke so that we can have a

chance

> to say good bye to him, so that we have a chance to make more good

> memories with him. Many people don't get a chance to say good bye

to

> their loved ones before they pass.

>

> I was reading in Paramahansa Yogananda's Spiritual Diary and there

is a

> passage on November 4th that says:

>

> It is not wrong to tell the Lord that we want something, but it

shows

> greater faith if we simply say: Heavenly Father I know that thou

Dost

> anticipate my every need. Sustain me according to thy will.

>

>

> Of course I would like to see my father overcome terminal cancer

and

> live a long healthy life, it is as he told me yesterday I can't

make him

> change his habits. The thing is he doesn't know he has cancer yet

and

> we don't know if it would do more harm than good to tell him. He

has

> been a strong man in the past but on some level he seems to feel

that

> death is near.

>

>

> can someone give me words of advice again?

 

Dear Ellyn...It is my personal opinion that your father should know

about the cancer so he can plan for his death. There are many things

he may want to give closure to before he passes on.

 

I know how hard this is...my father-in-law went through something

similar this summer, and watching a vital man literally disappear was

heart-breaking. The best thing you can do is be a consistent loving

presence to him.

 

Katie

[Guest guest]

--- Katie <squeakpal wrote:

 

Dear Ellyn...It is my personal opinion that your

father should know <BR>

about the cancer so he can plan for his death. & nbsp;

There are many things <BR>

he may want to give closure to before he passes

on.<BR>

<BR>

I know how hard this is...my father-in-law went

through something <BR>

similar this summer, and watching a vital man

literally disappear was <BR>

heart-breaking. & nbsp; The best thing you can do is be

a consistent loving <BR>

presence to him.<BR>

<BR>

Katie<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

</tt>

 

 

 

I have told him. He has a fighting spirit and he

wants a biopsy to be certain. He is determined to

overcome it. He said he will change his habits if he

has to.

 

I love him no matter what and I will support him.

 

 

Thank you.

[Guest guest]

Dear Ellyn

 

I would like to share the episode of King Parikshit who was cursed to

die within 7-days by a sage. He was righteous and noble, but was

unclear about what is " THE BEST THING " that one could do given the

short time left.

 

It was at that time, that Sage Suka arrived and recited

the " Bhagavatam " in 7-days, after hearing which Parikshit was

immersed in God-consciousness and reached the highest realm of god.

 

The Bhagavatam is full of stories which bring out the shortness of

life and highlight the real goal of life, which is to liberate

oneself, which is the very purpose of birth.

 

King Parikshit was happy in one way that he " would not die until the

7th day " , or in other words he " definitely " had 7-days to live. The

same in your dad's case, that he has been given " atleast " 6-months by

the doctors.

 

One should take that as a positive, and while his senses are still

able to grasp what others are telling him and while he can still

consciously pray to God, you should try telling him the importance of

prayer and surrender to God.

 

The highest gift one can get is the remembrance of Lord at the very

last breath. Its very easily said than done. We only get reminded of

those objects which we cherished the most in our lives, and get a

next life which is very close to the object of desire.

 

The story of King Jada-Bharata from Bhagavatam is proof to this, who

inspite of going to the forest to do penances, was allured by love

for a baby-deer and spent his life taking care of it. Finally he was

born as a deer in the next life.

 

At the end of this lengthy work, the very last verse reads

that 'Naama Sankirthanam', (chanting of lord's names) is the highest

thing one could do, to liberate oneself and cleanse oneself of all

sins.

 

When someone writes us a lengthy message, we just read the first few

lines and the last lines to get a brief summary of what is conveyed.

Similarly, from the Bhagavatam, we have to understand that he starts

out " Janmadhyasya yathah " which means that, the reason for birth and

creation and life-cycles, and ends with " namaami harim param " , means

chanting Hari-Naama, or names of Hari.

 

There's nothing greater than chanting of Lord's names. My conclusion

is, somehow try to find if someone (from Ramakrishna mission or

elsewhere) who can read the Bhagavatam by your dad's side, or maybe

you can just chant God's names continuously and make him also chant

it for sometime everyday.

 

That's the only thing that he can take with himself when he departs

from this world.

 

Radhe Krishna

 

-- Pradeep

 

 

P.S: personally, i have the entire bhagavatam recital recorded in a

set of 42-tapes, to be played 6-each day, which i can somehow arrange

to be mailed, if you so desire

[Guest guest]

I told my dad about the cancer. He wants a biopsy but he is not yet

strong enough. He continues to smoke and is not interested in going to

church. I will ask him today if he wants to pray. I will continue to

pray for him.

He wants to get out of the nursing home and go back to his regular life:

eating whatever he wants (not his perscribed diet). He has always said

you have to die of something, you might as well enjoy it while you can.

I'm going to live until I die. He doesn't believe that we come back.

He says either you go to heaven or hell.

 

It's very sad but all I can do is love him and continue to pray.

 

 

 

 

On Saturday, November 9, 2002, at 01:21 AM, Bhuvaneswar Chilukuri wrote:

 

>

> My dear ELLYN ,

>

> I read your e mail and felt very sad.

>

> Please let me tell you the little I know about life

> from first hand experience.

>

> Nobody in this world deliberately chooses the path to

> misery.Nobody...Nobody...Nobody.If someone behaves in

> a particular way,,he does so thinking that that way is

> the best way for him - whether it is or not is another

> matter.His judgement of action and his choice of

> action are determined by the type of guna

> (Disposition)and karma(the type of action he performed

> earlier,and performs now).These two bring in vasanas

> (strong habits approximatey translating )which impel

> each and every individual to perform the type of

> action he is performing to reap the karma phalam (the

> results of his previous actions,be they good or bad,

> in terms of pain and pleasure). The present state of

> Pain or Pleasure is only the result of his previous

> actions only.Therefore ,the best course of action is

> not to be bitter or remorseful about what

> happened.Pray God to bestow strength and

> discrimination to your father and to yourself so that

> he will lead you in the best possible way.