: )

[Guest guest]

A bit of Humour for the weekend.................jay

 

 

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Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on

science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they

would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

 

Now it was question time, and she asked, " My name begins with

the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I? "

 

Little Sissie in the front row proudly said, " You're a mother! "

 

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There was a little old lady in the church who would

never say anything bad about anybody, ever. Knowing

this the pastor one day asked her, " What do you think

about the devil? " thinking that surely she would have

to say something negative in this case. She replied,

" He's very good at what he does. "

 

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An old snake visited his doctor, saying, " Doc, I need

something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days. "

The doctor fixed him up with a pair of glasses and

told him to return in 2 weeks.

 

 

The snake came back as instructed, but told the doctor he

was verydepressed.

" What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you? " asked his doctor.

 

 

" The glasses are fine Doc, but I just discovered I've been living

with a garden hose for the past two years! "

 

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A man spoke frantically into the phone, " My wife is pregnant and

her contractions are only two minutes apart! "

 

" Is this her first child? " the doctor asked.

 

" No! " , the man shouted, " This is her husband! " .

 

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A Jewish woman goes to see the rabbi; she complains

 

about her heavy headaches. She whines, cries, and

 

talks about her poor living conditions for hours. All

 

of a sudden, she shouts, overjoyed: " Rabbi, your holy

 

presence has cured me! My headache is gone! "

 

To which the rabbi replies: " No madam, It is not gone.

 

I have it now. "

 

 

: )