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[Guest guest]

Any list devoted to spiritual matters needs humour : )

 

jay Vivekananda Centre London

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The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace.

" How many of you, " he asked, " would say you're opposed to war? "

 

Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, " who'll give us

the reason for being opposed to war? "

 

A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand.

 

" Johnny? " The teacher said.

 

" I hate war, " Johnny said, " because wars make history, and I hate history. "

 

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My neighbour was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was

 

and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured

 

and he didn't have to worry about a will.

 

He said, " Will!? What will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite. "

 

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While the U.S. stock market was at an all time high, the ups and downs

frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser

at the bank and ask if he were worried.

 

He replied that he slept like a baby.

 

He was amazed and asked, " Really? Even with all the fluctuations? "

 

He said, " Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry

for a couple of hours. "

 

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A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd

made her family's favourite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd

eaten half of it at dinner.

 

The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally

she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the

whole cake was gone.

 

The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower,

and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone

commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found

out.

 

She smiled. " He never found out. I made another cake and ate half! "

 

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A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the

passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman

turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks,

" Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm? "

 

To which he replies, " Ma'am, I'm in sales, not management. "

 

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