Guest guest Posted March 13, 2004 Report Share Posted March 13, 2004 >Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays > >1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two >sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. > >2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking >alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. > >3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, >like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse >without one of those boxes with a hole in it and now goes >around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers >of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a >pinhole in it. > >4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E-coli and he was >room-temperature Canadian beef. > >5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a >dog makes just before it throws up. > >6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. > >7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. > >8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had >disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude >shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. > >9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the >way a bowling ball wouldn't. > >10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty >bag filled with vegetable soup. > >11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had >an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in >another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 PM instead of 7:30. > >12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. > >13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots >when you fry them in hot grease. > >14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced >across the grassy field toward each other like two freight >trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 PM traveling at 55 >mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 PM at a speed of 35 mph. > >15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket >fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. > >16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two >hummingbirds who had also never met. > >17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she >was the East River. > >18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel >trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. > >19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. > >20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But >unlike Phil, this plan just might work. > >21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from >not eating for a while. > >22. " Oh, Jason, take me! " , she panted, her breasts heaving like >a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. > >23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, >either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from >stepping on a land mine or something. > >24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one >slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. > >25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids >around with power tools. > >26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard >bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. > >27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. > >28. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to >put in any pH cleanser. > >29. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. > >30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally >staple it to the wall. _______________ STOP MORE SPAM with the MSN Premium and get 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?pgmarket=en-ca & page=byoa/prem & xAPID=1994 & DI=1034 & SU=http://\ hotmail.com/enca & HL=Market_MSNIS_Taglines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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