funny-pages

[Guest guest]

DID YOU KNOW THAT...

 

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and

blamed it on the cost of living.

 

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

 

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting

something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

 

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to

end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

 

Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.

 

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

 

The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the

world's population.

 

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

 

Eating right. Staying fit. Die anyway.

 

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by

those who got there first.

 

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish

 

And he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

 

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

 

A shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

 

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

 

When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek,

that's a moray!

 

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

 

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

 

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

 

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

 

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

 

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear

bright until you hear them speak.