the other side

June 11, 2001

Incongruance to your article "the truth behind death" pls visit this site might give food for thought. Regards, Prashanth

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The Existence of Ghosts

-- By Rohini Gupta

What are ghosts?

Most of us have seen horror stories portrayed in movies or television. In a movie, ghosts are usually vindictive and come to kill or destroy. They are often shown as those who have died under violent circumstances and return to take revenge or lure a lover to death. In Hindi movies, they are also excellent singers!

Ask someone about ghosts, and there are always plenty of scary stories. Spectral figures in white, haunting lonely roads, or strange beings with feet facing backwards near smashans (cremation grounds) on moonless nights. This is the common perception of ghosts.

There are historic places where lonely and unhappy spirits still prowl. Most people are aware of at least one bhoot bungla, even in cities. Skyscrapers have their share of ghostly stories as well. In Bombay, in the towering Air India building, the story goes that during the night shift, a mysterious lady in white, walks down the deserted corridors at 3 a.m. and vanishes into the walls.

While there are plenty of ghost stories and legends, and everyone knows someone who claims to have seen a ghost, the reality is that these are not the most common experiences. The word ghost itself is a frightening word.

The commonest spirits are family

The commonest 'ghosts' are people exactly like you and me, in fact they are you and me, because they are the members of your family or friends who have passed away. After the death of someone you loved, did you feel their presence even though you could not see them?

If you did, you were right, and it is a very common experience. Often, after death, the spirit is confused and tries to be around the family for a while. Some spirits are worried about the well being of those left behind, and hover around with attempted advice, love and support.

Once a person has crossed over to the bright realms after death we cannot see them physically or interact with them. But most of us do feel their presence and it is never frightening - it is loving and reassuring.

There are many ways in which we are aware of those who have crossed over. When you are mourning them, you may suddenly feel their presence as if they are in the room, telling you to cheer up. You might dismiss this as imagination, or even feel the loss more keenly, but it is real and they are there. How else can they communicate when you can no longer see them physically?

Sometimes, you may smell a distinctive perfume which only the deceased wore, or smell her favourite food or his pipe smoke. Smell is a way in which they can make their presence known.

Often we dream of meeting the dead. They look young, healthy and vibrant. They transmit their messages and support in the form of dreams. This is also common. In dreams, we do venture into the realms beyond, and we interact with those on the other side, but we remember little of it when we wake up.

After death, unless you are a medium, the way to communicate with the dead is through dreams. There you can speak to them face-to-face, share your experiences, seek advise or reassurance. We all do this, but few are aware of it.

Death is a joyful experience

Death is the most misunderstood experience of all. The modern world, which refuses to believe in anything outside its limits, has taught us that death is fearful and horrible. We are told that we live one short, painful life and then it is nothingness. So death becomes the ultimate fear when it is actually natural, joyous and peaceful.

There are many books on near death experiences in the market. If you want to know how beautiful death can be, read about a few of them. The authors have collected the reports of those who died briefly, who were declared clinically dead, but returned. All speak of incredible peace, a lightness of being, a wonderful white light and a feeling of such wonder, that many did not want to come back.

Those who have experienced near death will never fear death again - they know how peaceful and liberating it is. Death is never painful, not even a violent death. It is birth that is traumatic and difficult. Death is freedom and peace, especially for those who died of ill health, or age. After death, they find themselves back in good health and youth.

Nobody dies alone

We have been taught that death is a terrible and lonely experience. Nothing could be further from the truth. No one ever dies alone. Long before a person dies, someone who loves them is waiting. Parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters, a beloved aunt or uncle, or a dead lover. Love transcends death and if someone you dearly loved is gone ahead of you, be sure they will be waiting eagerly on the other side.

That applies to animals as well. A much loved dog or cat may be the first one to greet you on the other side. If there is no family available, guides and spirit helpers are always there to assist those who cross over. Helpers appear in a familiar form to reassure the confused newly dead. They may come as gods or gurus or whatever the person expects.

In a catastrophe like a war or a plane crash, where many people cross over at the same time - helpers, spirit guides and relatives of all gather in advance to greet the newcomers and lighten their transition.

If you have been with a family member who died you know that, at the moment of death, they often call out to someone you cannot see. They are greeting their relatives or guides. Whoever they need, depending on their belief, will be there to greet them. Everyone is welcomed by a smiling and familiar face.

Your loved ones linger for a while

When a member of your family dies you may feel their presence for a while. Immediately after death they are very close to physical reality. Those who die are often worried about their families and keep trying to interact even though their loved ones can no longer see them. They are worried about the farewells they did not get to say, business left unfinished, all the things cut short by death.

Most people pass onwards reasonably quickly. There are always helpers to assist them and most religions have after-death ceremonies designed to explain to the dead that it is time to move on, and also to make sure that they have passed and are not stuck in between as ghosts.

In Hinduism, there is a thirteenth day ceremony in which the favourite food of the deceased is cooked and put out for the crows. This may seem absurd to the modern mind, but actually it serves a very useful purpose.

Crows and dogs can see spirits which is why they are associated with Yamaraj, the God of Death. When their favourite food is laid out, a nervous spirit who is still there, will hover around it and the crows will leave it alone.

If the crows do not eat the food, the pandits will assume that the spirit is still not satisfied, and will perform a few more rites to help the deceased to move on. When after-death ceremonies are properly performed, there are less ghosts left to cling to the physical world.

Cremation also helps the dead to depart. It is easier to cut physical ties when there is no body. Also the mantras chanted during cremation are powerful and help the dead make a clean and easy departure.

When the body is buried, the dead are confused by the ties they feel to it, and it is so much harder to leave. The living may hinder this process by acting as if the person is still there, by visiting the grave often. The living think of the grave as the resting place of the dead, which it never is. After-death ceremonies should help the dead go to a different life, not get stuck as ghosts, tied to a mouldering body.

The ones who do not cross over

Dying was a lot easier in times when everyone accepted the idea of death as natural. Today, the word death creates panic because it seems the end of everything. Our entire modern world is geared around the idea of 'saving life', as if one precious life is all we will ever have. This attitude creates a big problem after death.

Most people who die are not aware they have died. They feel great, so they think they are still alive, and try to continue their daily routine. They watch their own cremation with confusion and try hard to comfort their weeping relatives. It puzzles them even more that no one responds to them.

At this point, helpers and guides tell them the real situation and take them onwards. But there are many who refuse to listen, who are not open to any help at all. These are usually people who believed death means total annihilation. They find themselves conscious and so refuse to believe they are dead.

In severe cases, even helpers cannot get through to them and they continue to hang around, struggling to be heard, feeling more and more desperate and bewildered. Others are so attached to physical life that they will not consider leaving their physical home. They are also so closed that no one can break their barriers. These are ghosts - the lost souls who refuse to move on.

Some ghosts died traumatic deaths and are so bound up in that violent scenario that they keep reliving it, refusing to let it go. These are the ghosts of tragic, historic ruins. They just do not understand that they are not part of the physical world anymore.

To get rid of these ghosts you need a good medium who can explain and get them to move onwards. However, many are so completely wrapped up in their suffering, that they cannot be reached. They are not usually dangerous. They are not even aware that times have changed since the days they lived. One day or the other, they will have to wake up and then a helper will be waiting to take them to the after-death world.

Share your experiences

If any of you out there have had encounters that have bordered on the paranormal, or actually seen or felt the presence of ghosts, do tell us about your experience. When writing in to us, please describe the exact circumstances and time when it happened. Some chosen entries will be used as case studies by the author of this piece.

Illustrations by: Durga Dominic

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