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Sankaram Siva Sankaram This is the first time that I am sending a mail to SSS group. I just couldn't resist on Valentines day to send this mail.... I was quite new to Samratchana and just started for longing to see Baba everyday. Those days Monday used to be a holiday. And 13th Feb was a Sunday, I wanted to see my Eternal lover the next day. I felt like asking HIM if I come to see him there at Neelagari on Monday, but couldn't despite building courage to ask HIM. The next day, morning I knew I will not be going to Samratchana as it Monday, and was sure HE would be at Kelambakkam and not at Neelagarai. Meanwhile, my long time friends had planned to meet at a place in the afternoon. So I had an early bath and I did not have anythind else to do till afternoon meeting. At around 9:30 my mom started to yell at me for being lazying sitting. She was very angry with me that day. Nothing could make her cool down. I felt that I better leave

home to a libary or any place and later join my friends. I got dressed and walk out of my home, I did not know where or what to do till afternoon. Never before did I walk out of my house to avoid her scoldings. I myself found this a strange behaviour. I walked to a nearby bus stop. I stood there not knowing what to do next. Next minute I saw three samratachana people walking past me. I asked them where were going? They simplying replied that they are walking to the bus stop. I just followed them and was talking. With all hope I asked them if Baba would there in Neelagarai today. They gave a negative reply and said that they were going there as they had some work which could be done only when no much people were around. By then we reached the next stop, an Super fast bus came by. All the three were getting in and also was asking me to join them. I was not interest to go to Neelagari as Baba was not going to be there. Still I boarded the bus to alight in the next stop

which is a bus stand to get take another bus so another libaray. Even before I could realise other had taken a ticket for Neelagarai. I was very determine to get down at the next stop. When the bus stopped at the next stop, I found another Samratchana person alighting the bus and leaving no place for me to get down. She started to ask about something which prevented me from getting down and the bus moved on. I was not happy about it as I was not interested in going when Baba was not to be there. We reached Neelagari bus stop in time, and I still clearing remember asking them with all hope against hope if Baba would be there. They replied that Baba is vey busy with the work of establishing Kelambakkam and HE wouldn't be taking rest on Mondays. We were approching the narrow lane, when suddendly I had a sudden urge to run. Even today I do not know why I ran that day toward the Ashram. When I reached the Chappal stand I could hear vedam being chanting. I expected

to see another person who doed the homam during Babs absence. I went in and sat with my eyes closed. I am not good in meditation, that I opened my eyes within a minute and found that it was Baba performing homan. That day I knew that Babs is the one who fixes date & time. We just desired to meet HIM, but HE is the decider.

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