Bush Reveals Tap Water as Prescription Drug Plan Hopes Doped Water Will Be His

[Guest guest]

Bush Reveals Tap Water as Prescription Drug Plan

Hopes Doped Water Will Be His Legacy, President Says

 

On a day when millions Americans were reeling from the news that

there were trace amounts of prescription drugs in their drinking

water, President George W. Bush made a stunning announcement at the

White House.

 

" I am responsible for this, " Mr. Bush told reporters. " This is my

idea of a prescription drug plan. "

 

Standing before a banner reading " Prescription Accomplished, " the

president said that he hoped providing Americans with free

medications via their tap water would prove to be " the finest legacy "

of his Administration.

 

Mr. Bush indicated that America's drug-laced waters could boost

tourism in the U.S., adding that English rocker Pete Doherty was

" getting on the next plane over here. "

 

Across the country, the announcement that President Bush had doped

America's drinking water with dozens of prescription medications drew

a variety of reactions.

 

" It makes me proud to be an American, " said pitching great Roger

Clemens.

 

Responding to the news that she had been imbibing anti-anxiety drugs

in her water, New York resident Carol Foyler said, " I'm not worried

about it, but come to think of it, I'm not worried about anything

anymore. "

 

But Atlanta's Tracy Klujian said that he believes all drinking water

in the U.S. should come with a warning label indicating possible side

effects.

 

From Andy Borowitz