communications via e-mail and yelling

[Guest guest]

> " HaliteSprite " <HaliteSprite

>Re: Re: Breast cancer article

>

>

> I also don't understand why you felt the need to yell at me (stating

several points in CAPS is yelling). I said nothing untoward about the

article, with the exeption of the implication that it was incomplete, which

it is.

 

 

 

I don't recall any yelling. Yes, certain words were put in caps but that was

for emphasis. When you can't underscore words (as I can't with my program)

then you have three choices when you want to emphasize a particular word:

 

(1) you can put <> marks around the word. Example: And then I said to him

" Oh, you're so <special> that I guess the rules don't apply to you. "

 

(2) you can use caps as in " " Oh, you're so SPECIAL that I guess the rules

don't apply to you. "

 

(3) you can skip trying to emphasize anything.

 

Generally, yelling is the whole sentence in caps. " OH, YOU'RE SO SPECIAL

THAT I GUESS THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO YOU. "

 

Therefore, please don't get upset. The traditional method for adding

emphasis (if you can't underscore or do italics) is to use caps for one word

or phrase. It's not the same as yelling. I teach a business etiquette course

at the local community college so excuse the lecture but people's feelings

would get hurt a lot less often in this world if people did a better job of

communicating.

 

- Anna

[Guest guest]

True in most instances, but here I beg to differ. Re-read the retort aloud, using emphasis on the CAPS words. Now, who is shouting?

 

Each and every e-mail should be sent as if one were actually speaking to the person in question. Nettiquette sites will tell you that you should act as though you were speaking to the person face to face, and not act differently just because you're not.

 

I understand that some words do need emphasis. Making *multiple* in caps instead of highlighting it in a different way is in fact shouting, because CAPS themselves are shouting--this is on every nettiquette page I've ever seen online. Yes, they say that point emphasis is ok, but there *is* such a thing as going overboard. When read aloud, such e-mails come across as quite rude.

 

This is why I use *asterisks* to emphasize a point, they do not scream at you, and when read aloud, there is less force in the voice, because the word doesn't jump off the page in the same manner.

 

Further, I refuse to read, let alone reply to such messages, they go directly into my trash bin from here on out. I've said that I take it to be rude, and I meant it. I understand if others do not, but someday I'm certain you will, when the post is directed at you.

 

Blessings to all,

Ahreinya

 

-

aljuarez

Thursday, May 30, 2002 5:38 AM

communications via e-mail and yelling

> "HaliteSprite" <HaliteSprite>Re: Re: Breast cancer article>>> I also don't understand why you felt the need to yell at me (statingseveral points in CAPS is yelling). I said nothing untoward about thearticle, with the exeption of the implication that it was incomplete, whichit is. I don't recall any yelling. Yes, certain words were put in caps but that wasfor emphasis. When you can't underscore words (as I can't with my program)then you have three choices when you want to emphasize a particular word:(1) you can put <> marks around the word. Example: And then I said to him"Oh, you're so <special> that I guess the rules don't apply to you."(2) you can use caps as in ""Oh, you're so SPECIAL that I guess the rulesdon't apply to you."(3) you can skip trying to emphasize anything.Generally, yelling is the whole sentence in caps. "OH, YOU'RE SO SPECIALTHAT I GUESS THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO YOU."Therefore, please don't get upset. The traditional method for addingemphasis (if you can't underscore or do italics) is to use caps for one wordor phrase. It's not the same as yelling. I teach a business etiquette courseat the local community college so excuse the lecture but people's feelingswould get hurt a lot less often in this world if people did a better job ofcommunicating.- Anna**************************************************WWW.PEACEFULMIND.COM Sponsors Alternative Answers-HEALING NATURALLY- this is the premise of HOLISTIC HEALTH. Preventative and Curative measure to take for many ailments at:http://www.peacefulmind.com/ailments_frame.htm__________-To INVITE A FRIEND to our healing community, copy and paste this address in an email to them:http://www./members_add _________To ADD A LINK, RESOURCE, OR WEBSITE to Alternative Answers please Go to: http://www./links___________Community email addresses: Post message: Subscribe: - Un: - List owner: -owner _______Shortcut URL to this page: http://www.

[Guest guest]

ANNA,

Thank you for commenting on this. I think this type of thing is symptomatic

of much bigger problems, but, first, about the thought that " yelling is the

whole sentence in caps, " what if I wrote, " OH, MY DARLING, YOU ARE THE LIGHT

OF MY LIFE! " Because the whole sentence is in caps, would that be yelling or

simply emphasized?

 

WELL, at any rate, and NEW RULES OF CYBER-GRAMMAR FOR THE HOPELESSLY

COMPUTERIZED notwithstanding, you bring up a very important factor that

impacts our health and well-being at least as much as any

outer-environmental one, when you mention " people's feelings would get hurt

a lot less often... if people did a better job of communicating. " This is a

huge factor in health of all kinds as it goes to the root cause of most

dis-ease that involves taking personal responsibility for the state of

health in which we have ourselves existing, namely " personal

responsibility. "

 

Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to have effective results in

their communications. One, the sender, who is being responsible for how his

communication " LANDS ON the other person, " and, one, the receiver, who is

being responsible for how they " LISTEN the sender. " If we are not being

responsible for the feelings WE GENERATE in ourselves, we are usually not

being responsible for our state of health either. And that state is heavily

regulated by the mental/emotional state in which we choose to put (or keep)

ourselves and shows up around our communications with others.

 

One of the things that can help (those who are ready to be helped) is

letting people know that we don't buy their blaming others for what they

themselves are feeling. Just like being listened as " yelling in print " was

not my intention, yet someone chose to make me responsible for their feeling

" yelled at " by choosing to put their 'writing rules' on me AS IF I should be

the way they want me to be IN ORDER FOR them to be happy. (Isn't it

interesting that no amount of my [or your assistance in] explaining my

position alleviated their propensity to feel bad?)

 

As for feelings we have around other's communications with us: our feelings

would get hurt a lot less often if we did not CHOOSE TO BE HURT as often as

we CHOOSE TO BE HURT. And, I think that is the only way we can have hurt

feelings less often, because, IT IS OUR CHOICE to feel any particular way

about any particular thing about which WE ARE CHOOSING to feel.

 

Once people get how powerful they are at generating the feelings they are

choosing to generate, over whatever they are choosing to generate them, they

can realize (apply) their power in other aspects of their lives and, when

dealing with health issues caused by their own previously hidden choices,

they can choose to be pain and blockage free once again.

 

\choosing loving-acceptance of self and others,

William

btw, I choose to have CAPS mean nothing more to me than emphasis, headlines

or titles, BUT, I respect anyone's right to have CAPS mean TO THEM whatever

they want them to mean, even something as outlandish to me as the

IMPOSSIBILITY that the writer is yelling at them in print. Even though, to

me, believing that is the same as believing that YOU CAN SMELL A ROSE when

you simply see the word IN PRINT.

 

As well, I respect their RIGHT TO CHOOSE to FEEL ANY WAY THEY WANT to feel

about their perception that they are being yelled at by someone in print. I

even respect their right to blame others for 'somehow' MAKING THEM FEEL a

certain way in print. As well, I respect their right to make me wrong for

.... whatever! (even for not agreeing with them. I just don't choose to

think or feel the same way as I don't think (or feel) that it's a healthy,

or POWERFUL, way to live.

 

^

^aljuarez [aljuarez]

^Thursday, May 30, 2002 5:40 AM

^

^ communications via e-mail and yelling

^

^

^> " HaliteSprite " <HaliteSprite

^>Re: Re: Breast cancer article

^>

^>

^> I also don't understand why you felt the need to yell at me (stating

^several points in CAPS is yelling). I said nothing untoward about the

^article, with the exeption of the implication that it was

^incomplete, which

^it is.

^

^

^

^I don't recall any yelling. Yes, certain words were put in

^caps but that was

^for emphasis. When you can't underscore words (as I can't with

^my program)

^then you have three choices when you want to emphasize a

^particular word:

^

^(1) you can put <> marks around the word. Example: And then I

^said to him

^ " Oh, you're so <special> that I guess the rules don't apply to you. "

^

^(2) you can use caps as in " " Oh, you're so SPECIAL that I

^guess the rules

^don't apply to you. "

^

^(3) you can skip trying to emphasize anything.

^

^Generally, yelling is the whole sentence in caps. " OH, YOU'RE

^SO SPECIAL

^THAT I GUESS THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO YOU. "

^

^Therefore, please don't get upset. The traditional method for adding

^emphasis (if you can't underscore or do italics) is to use

^caps for one word

^or phrase. It's not the same as yelling. I teach a business

^etiquette course

^at the local community college so excuse the lecture but

^people's feelings

^would get hurt a lot less often in this world if people did a

^better job of

^communicating.

^

^- Anna

^

^

^

[Guest guest]

My dear concerned Ahreinya,

Since you are expressing your concern that those of us who use caps for words we want to emphasize are being rude to you by so doing, I am compelled to write to you again. I'd to point out to you that when someone reads what another has written, the reader, unless enlightened by the writer, can't help but read it with their own limited interpretation can they? The reader will take it in and put it out through their own constructs and filters.

 

So, if you as the reader have it that "caps" means "shouting" you will shout those words. If however, you have a chance to talk to the author of the work you are reading and he tells you that his use of "caps" means something else altogether (let's say, "poignantly meaningful to the extent that the word is written with relish and meant to be focused on within the context of the paragraph") then that it what it means, isn't it? After all, who's words are they? The reader's or the writer's?

 

So, dear Ahreinya, why don't you believe me when I tell you that you were NOT being shouted or yelled at? (whoever started that net mis-information about CAPS was either not a well-educated person or was someone who could not handle others being FULLY self-expressed.) Are you not being rude when you dishonor another's word as to what their own writing means? It is like you, and your 'netiquette CAPS Gestapo , set yourselves up as judge, jury and executioner over another's intentions. (did you see the movie THX451?)

 

Now, though I hope you are really not trying to be rude by disallowing me the right to my own reasons and opinions when choosing to write some things with upper case and other things with lower case letters, I think you should be able to see that forcing your own ways of expressing yourself on someone else would be tantamount to being a Net-Nazi or a Download Dictator. Such a person would hardly be the Emily Post of the internet.

 

So, here's to your freedom of expression and a toughening of your emotional trousseau,

LOVE YOU,

William.

 

btw, everytime I see your asterisks, I look for that which the presence of asterisks "traditionally" indicates should be there, namely, FOOTNOTES at the end of your post. BUT, since YOU SAY that you use them as your way of capitalizing a word *for emphasis*, then that is what they are there for, in YOUR posts! Isn't that they way a non-rude person, who respects your word, should look at it?

 

HaliteSprite [HaliteSprite]Thursday, May 30, 2002 8:34 AM Subject: Re: communications via e-mail and yelling

True in most instances, but here I beg to differ. Re-read the retort aloud, using emphasis on the CAPS words. Now, who is shouting?

 

Each and every e-mail should be sent as if one were actually speaking to the person in question. Nettiquette sites will tell you that you should act as though you were speaking to the person face to face, and not act differently just because you're not.

 

I understand that some words do need emphasis. Making *multiple* in caps instead of highlighting it in a different way is in fact shouting, because CAPS themselves are shouting--this is on every nettiquette page I've ever seen online. Yes, they say that point emphasis is ok, but there *is* such a thing as going overboard. When read aloud, such e-mails come across as quite rude.

 

This is why I use *asterisks* to emphasize a point, they do not scream at you, and when read aloud, there is less force in the voice, because the word doesn't jump off the page in the same manner.

 

Further, I refuse to read, let alone reply to such messages, they go directly into my trash bin from here on out. I've said that I take it to be rude, and I meant it. I understand if others do not, but someday I'm certain you will, when the post is directed at you.

 

Blessings to all,

Ahreinya

 

-

aljuarez

Thursday, May 30, 2002 5:38 AM

communications via e-mail and yelling

> "HaliteSprite" <HaliteSprite>Re: Re: Breast cancer article>>> I also don't understand why you felt the need to yell at me (statingseveral points in CAPS is yelling). I said nothing untoward about thearticle, with the exeption of the implication that it was incomplete, whichit is. I don't recall any yelling. Yes, certain words were put in caps but that wasfor emphasis. When you can't underscore words (as I can't with my program)then you have three choices when you want to emphasize a particular word:(1) you can put <> marks around the word. Example: And then I said to him"Oh, you're so <special> that I guess the rules don't apply to you."(2) you can use caps as in ""Oh, you're so SPECIAL that I guess the rulesdon't apply to you."(3) you can skip trying to emphasize anything.Generally, yelling is the whole sentence in caps. "OH, YOU'RE SO SPECIALTHAT I GUESS THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO YOU."Therefore, please don't get upset. The traditional method for addingemphasis (if you can't underscore or do italics) is to use caps for one wordor phrase. It's not the same as yelling. I teach a business etiquette courseat the local community college so excuse the lecture but people's feelingswould get hurt a lot less often in this world if people did a better job ofcommunicating.- Anna**************************************************WWW.PEACEFULMIND.COM Sponsors Alternative Answers-HEALING NATURALLY- this is the premise of HOLISTIC HEALTH. Preventative and Curative measure to take for many ailments at:http://www.peacefulmind.com/ailments_frame.htm__________-To INVITE A FRIEND to our healing community, copy and paste this address in an email to them:http://www./members_add _________To ADD A LINK, RESOURCE, OR WEBSITE to Alternative Answers please Go to: http://www./links___________Community email addresses: Post message: Subscribe: - Un: - List owner: -owner _______Shortcut URL to this page: http://www.

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to comment that e-mail is a form of communicating that

can really cause problems. There is no voice inflection or body

language and what you may write as being funny can be viewed as being

offensive by another. What may seem like a little comment can be

huge to someone else. There definitely is an interpretation factor

to be considered here mainly due to the fact that there is no body

language and voice inflection, and the fact that we do not know each

other very well. I hope that we can all view each others' e-mails

with the most positive view point as possible Adding smileys will

hopefully be helpful too, unless someone takes it sarcastically?

Sigh!

 

Shoshana