HUMOR? How To Recondition Your Body For a Toxic Diet (HEALTH)

[Guest guest]

I just had to forward this - it's cute but kinda sad at the same time.

It totally described how my brothers family (and most Americans) eat on

a regular basis...

 

Mouse

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" How To Recondition Your Body For a Toxic Diet "

 

1. Slowly begin to reintroduce harmful foods. Suggestions are potato

chips, pizza with extra cheese, white bread, milk, coffee or coke, milk

shakes from edible oil products, fried chicken, french fries deep fried

in beef fat, eggs from chemically-raised chickens, steak with barbecue

sauce and a small portion of overcooked vegetables. Throw in a couple of

chocolate bars to insure an optimum toxin level.

 

2. Eat very few raw fruits and vegetables. If you must eat vegetables,

make sure the life has been cooked out of them. The best fruits are

canned and preserved in sugar syrup.

 

3. Give your juice machine away. Drink bottled or canned juices with

brominated vegetable oils. Canned vegetable juice is fine because all

the enzymes have been destroyed through pasteurization.

 

4. Swallow food whole. Use butter as a lubricant. Deep fried foods will

require less chewing.

 

5. Eat as much as you possibly can at one sitting. This conditions the

muscles that support the stomach to expand, accommodating an increased

volume of food.

 

6. Avoid fiber at all cost. If forced to eat whole wheat flour, pick the

bits of bran from the bread. This will allow the food to pass more

slowly through the intestine so the body may absorb optimal toxic chemicals.

 

7. Do not exercise. Exercise oxygenates the cells and triggers the

lymphatic system that cleans the body. Try to remain in an inactive

horizontal position.

 

8. Snack regularly during the night so as to curb the body's natural

tendencies to detoxify during sleep.

 

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author unknown to me...