Horse-Aholic's

[Guest guest]

Welcome to Horse-Aholic's Anonymous

 

 

I AM a horse-aholic. I would like to welcome all of

you to this month's meeting of Horse-aholic Anonymous.

Some of you are here tonight because a friend or

relative brought you. You may be sitting here thinking

that you are OK and don't really need any help. It is

not easy to admit that you are a horse-aholic and it

is even harder to bring yourself to a HA meeting for

help. HA is here to assist you. I have some questions

to ask.

 

 

If you can answer YES to more than three of the

following, you have come to the right place.

 

 

1. Can you say " sheath " in public without blushing?

 

 

 

2. Do you drive a big truck with a towing package when

everyone else drives a real car?

 

 

3. Do you have more than one vehicle? One for you and

one for the horses?

 

 

4. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, clinics

and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?

 

 

5. If you do go overseas, is it to a riding vacation

in Ireland or to Spruce Meadows to watch the Grand

Prix?

 

 

6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that

would make most doctors leave in disgust?

 

 

7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and

freshly scraped boots?

 

8. Is your interior decorator State Line Tack?

 

 

9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen with your

horses in mind?

 

 

10. Are your end tables really tack trunks with

tablecloths thrown over them?

 

 

11. Is your mail made up primarily of horse catalogs

and horse magazines?

 

 

12. Do you get up before dawn to ride? Go to horse

shows? Clinics? [but have trouble getting up for

" work? " ]

 

 

13. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?

Do those pockets often contain bits of carrot, hay, or

sweet feed?

 

 

14. When you meet a new person do you always ask them

what kind of horse they have and pity them if they

don't have one?

 

 

15. Do you remember the name of their horse sooner

than you remember their

name?

 

 

16. Do you find non-horse people boring?

 

 

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is

still hope. If you answered YES to two, you are in

serious trouble. My advice to all of you with three or

more YES's is to sit back and smile, turn to the

smiling person next to you, and know that your life

will always be filled with good friends and good

horses and it will never be boring.