Abuse Counselling

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Anukki wrote:

>

> Some people who have suffered abuse as children grow up to perpetrate. Most

> do not. Many people have grown up with this irrational fear that is myth

> based. They think that because they were abused, then in turn they will

> become abusers. It just ain't so.

>

I'll certainly agree with you here... why doesn't somebody tell that

to the social workers and psychiatrists out there?

 

Frankly, I think it is adding insult to injury to assume people are

*going* to repeat the negative patterns perpetrated upon them; if our

society was not so afraid to intervene proactively (and I mean by that

stepping in, stopping the abuse, and providing helpful counselling for

the whole family right away) we would be a lot better off as a

society.

 

I read a statistic in Dr. Brian Weiss's book " Through Time Into

Healing " that says approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are

victimized sexually. That is possibly a skewed estimate, and does not

address the abuse of these people as adults because of their destroyed

self-esteem and hazy boundaries. Many of these people end up in

abusive relationships; many commit suicide. And it is such a waste of

life.

 

It is of vital importance to get counselling if someone has been

abused. It is not a luxury, it can be the difference between life and

death, or at the very least a painful, depressed, self-questioning

existence. It is not easy to learn to trust again, or to find inner

strength, or to develop self-respect and love. But, it is vital. And

it is not just for the person who has been abused, but for their

legacy to their own children, and the people they choose to spend

their lives with. Passing on fear and mistrust is not a good legacy.

Passing on a strong sense of self-love and strength, boundaries and

the ability to trust is.

 

I do not know many people who can do all that alone. If you know

someone who has been abused, please offer them the hope that someone

will listen to them, that it doesn't have to be that way, and that

there are good people in the world and they are one of them. Encourage

them to get into a solid, supportive counselling relationship with

someone who has gotten finished with all their own crap and can help

them in an objective way. (All therapists are not good therapists, and

one of the worst things a person can do is get hooked up with a wild

eyed fanatic that will feed their fears instead of developing their

strengths)

 

Anu, I know you don't mind being yelled at occasionally, or I wouldn't

do it. It is a good time to make a public service announcement. Like

Cathy said this morning, it is the act we should abhor, it is the act

we should focus on.

 

--

Blessings,

Crow

" Look for Rainbows in the Darkness "

--

Rev. Caroline Abreu, BS, RN, CHTP/I, CRMT

ICQ# 4458763

AIM= CaroCrow