Issues Coming Up

[Guest guest]

Hi Folks:

 

Well, my hypnotherapy post seems to have also stirred up some other

issues here. That happens, sometimes. I am glad that we have managed

to stay fairly vanilla over this for the most part, because I want to

stress how important it is that people discuss their feelings about

safety, boundaries, resentments, fears, and even myths so that we can

reach a greater understanding of each other and dispell some of the

darkness with a little enlightening interaction.

 

Anyone who knows me from here or Body_Work will realize that I don't

let much ride. For some people that is uncomfortable, and I respect

that. I try to be as honest as I can, however, because so much can be

misconstrued in the written word, especially when there are no methods

of seeing my expression or feeling my intention or hearing my tone.

 

If I hear something that doesn't resonate, I will address it. It is a

simple thing to clarify meaning in return, and if I am wrong I will

certainly reframe my original statements. I would prefer that

discussion be taken to a higher level than accepting the words of

others as personal barbs and insults, when I am sure no one means

that, they are just speaking their point.

 

Interacting on a discussion list is not the same as having a

conversation with friends, although there are similarities. No one has

guaranteed that everyone will agree or that the subject matter will

always be light and comfortable. Sometimes it is more important to

cast a light into the corner and see what's over there.

 

My apologies, Jackie, for tossing you unceremoniously into the sea on

this one, but if you read my response to you, I did not personalize it

but was simply stating my truth. I am glad you are here, and hope that

this is a good indicator that people are feeling safe to express

themselves in the forum.

 

ged wrote:

>

> " ged " <gedquayle

>

> The obsession that 'all men are potential rapists', which as a male I > find

deeply insulting and grossly misunderstanding of men, means that > female

abusers are ignored and their victims disbelieved.

 

Again, I think Cathy had the crux of this (Cathy has obviously been

doing some hard work): we should abhor the act, whoever is the

perpetrator, and not try to generalize populations in some misguided

idea that will protect us. I am just as guilty of generalization in

some arenas; looks like I need to do some hard work, too.

 

> When someone tells me that I'm a rapist they're trying to push something into

me or onto me that does not belong there, that I really do not want there and

that I find deeply offensive and degrading and I'm left feeling extremely angry

and violated. This completely overrides all previous knowledge and relationship

and leaves me feeling that they are not a good person to be around.

>

 

Sort of feels like you have been raped, doesn't it? An implication can

be as damaging as an accusation in the right circumstances.

 

Know that for every person who projects their personal fear and

resentment onto you there was a reason that they lost trust and faith;

most of the time that reason no longer exists, but the child in them

continues to lash out and emote. Don't allow their stuff to become

your stuff by also becoming a victim of misplaced anger. You're a good

person, and they are too. You are just having a displacement moment

;-) Rather than trying to defend yourself, stay as unemotional and

tactful as possible and offer them a referral to a good therapist. If

it means nothing to them in the moment, the seed has at least been

planted.

 

> ('tis my curse to be a Libran...)

>

 

LOL... well, I don't think it's a curse, Ged. I'm a Libran, too. When

is

your birthday?

 

All Good Energy,

Crow

" Look for Rainbows in the Darkness "