new year thoughts

[Guest guest]

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks

and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

 

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.

And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to

subside,

you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet

lashes

you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that its time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or

for happiness,

safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

 

You come to terms with the fact that there is no Prince Charming or Sleeping

Beauty

and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings

for that matter)

and that any guarantee of happily ever after must begin with you and,

in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

 

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect

and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you

are ...

and that's OK.

(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the

process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

 

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or

didn't do for you)

and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say

and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always

about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself

and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

 

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are

and to overlook their short comings and human frailties

and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you,

is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into

your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should

behave,

how you should look and how much you should weigh what you should wear

and where you should shop and what you should drive,

how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you

should sleep with,

who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage,

the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

 

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.

And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing

and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,

or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process

you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.

And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop

manoeuvring through life merely as a consumer looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity

are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but

the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

 

You learn that you don't know everything,

its not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility

and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry

and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

 

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.

How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk

away.

You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable

or important

because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have

them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love

....And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms....

Just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

 

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be

perfect

and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing

over how you stack up.

 

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,

smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.You learn that feelings of

entitlement are perfectly OK.. and that it is your right to want things and to

ask for the things that you want...

and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

 

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,

kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.

And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with

their touch ...

and in the process you internalise the meaning of self-respect.

 

And you learn that your body really is your temple.

And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

 

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear.

So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels

our soul.

So you take more time to laugh and to play.

 

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve

....

and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing

for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success

you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that its OK to risk asking

for help.

 

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of

all time...

FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because

you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to

give away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud

of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair,

you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things

happen

to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize

things.

You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.

It's just life happening.

 

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state~~ the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be

understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison

the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we

take for granted,

things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about:

a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

 

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself

and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself

and to never ever to settle for less than your heart's desire.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,

and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

 

Finally, with courage in your heart and with family and friends by your side,

you take a stand, you take a deep breath

and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

 

Happy New Year

With love from Carol

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Carol, I want to thank you so very much for sharing your new year

thoughts. I am sure many of us related to them deeply. I certainly

did - you were talking about me!!!

 

I am positive that I will learn a lot from this group which will help

me with my own beneficial development.

 

Thank you once again and a wonderful 2001 to all.

 

Best wishes, Sue

[Guest guest]

This is truly beautiful. Thank youl Blessed tomorrow to you. cynthia