Introduction and request

February 17, 2001

Dear Gina,

Thank you for your openness and honesty. I believe that is an important

step to resolving any problem. You seem to have a lot of insight but not

the solution yet. You have alot of company in that regard---both in

having some but not enough insight and the weight problem. I think you

will probably get some good, useful feedback from this website.

I have also struggled with a weight problem since I was seriously ill

several years ago. It has limited my activity and the pounds krept up

and the depression set in. May I ask you some questions?

Have you had a complete physical? I imagine you have since you've just

had a baby. You want to rule out and physical problems and get your Drs.

supervision. It may only be passive but check things out with him/her as

there are many quack things going around. Think long term---the way to

eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

Self-esteem sounds like a major issue with you---as it is for many of us.

We refuse to love ourselves until we become the way we want to be. That

is very self-defeating. We need to love ourselves just the way we are

now---we are lovable even though we are not perfect---we will never be

perfect ---so what are we waiting for. Maybe you have not received love

adequately in the past. Maybe it was not given; maybe it was given but,

for one reason or another, you could not receive it. No matter, you can

learn to love yourself the way you would want to be loved by others.

Value yourself the way you want others to value you. Then you will

automatically draw mopre positive people into your life. Treat yourself

as you wish to be treated. With a baby, you time and energy wil be

limited and maybe your financial resources. (I had five boys in six

years and my husband traveled alot.) You can still do things for

yourself---even if it is only a bubble bath or a good library book. We

need to be creative. Pushing a buggy can give you some good exercise;

work up to a running buggy. There are wonderful programs for mother's

and babies at churches, the " Y " ,etc. I can't believe all the activities

my daughters-in-law take my grandchildren to. This will also give you a

much needed social outlet. I remember feeling very trapped at times even

though I loved beoing a " mom " . Eventually, I broke out of it by

consciously varying my activities---like actively choosing to wash a

glass before I washed a cup. It sounds silly but try to make as many

conscious active decisions as you can. It really helps you regain

control. The same with food. Try to make conscious decisons about what

you are going to eat before you put it in your mouth. Ask yourself---do

I really, really want this with the consequences it will bring?

Enough for now. I'm sure you'll get many more good suggestions. Hang in

there and stay in touch.

Celeste

February 20, 2001

Hello All,

Just thought I would introduce myself to everyone. My name is Gina, I''' be

turning 27 in one week, and I have been lurking on this list for about a

month now. I have a ten week old baby boy and I'm feeling completely

overwhelmed lately. I also have a moderate weight problem which has nothing

to do with my pregnancy. I was about 60-70 pounds overweight before I got

pregnant so I didn't gain very much during the pregnancy and I was back to my

original weight within a couple of weeks of delivery. In the past couple of

years I have tried pretty much everything and anything to lose it but nothing

has worked. Because I know that there is a certain connection between mind

and body, I believe that I may somehow be subconciously preventing myself

from finally shedding this weight that has been the bane of my existance for

so long now. I'm at the end of my rope with this. Besides my weight problem,

I have been moderately to severely depressed for several years and have had

no luck getting any help with that either. I don't know if my weight has

cased my depression or the other way around, although I suspect it's been a

little of both and now I'm stuck in a viscious circle with no clue how to

stop it. On a related note, I seem to have quite a knack for attracting

negative people and situations into my life and I would like to start

attracting more positive ones. I have the feeling that my life would turn

around if only I could figure out a way to do this but I have been this way

as long as I can remember and I don't have the slightest idea how to change

it. I always feel as if the answer is so simple and probably right in front

of my face but I can't see it. I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for from

this group but I would appreciate any ideas/advice/suggestions you all might

have for me. I'm willing to try anything at this point. Thanks to everyone

for taking the time to read this.

Gina

February 21, 2001

Dear Gina,

You are very right in thinking that you have the ability to change the

situation that you are in. Just coming to this realisation in itself and

reaching out for help is a big step in the healing process that you have

already achieved. It is not an easy process to change one's habits and ways

of thinking after years of experiencing negativity, but it is definitely

possible, and it will get easier as you go along.

I am sure you will receive many offers of advice from this list. My advice

is simply to keep reminding yourself of your goal at all times, which is to

be happy. The other things you wish to achieve - the weight loss, not

attracting negative situations etc. will happen automatically as you find

happiness. Try to picture yourself being happy, being the weight you want

to be, wearing the clothes you want to, eating the foods you want to, being

with friends you are comfortable with.....use this image to guide you in

making decisions. Even if for now it seems unrealistic that you can be that

person, if you tell yourself everyday that it will happen, you will find

that the image resembles reality more and more.

As well as this, life has presented you with a wonderful opportunity for

happiness - your baby boy. Although babies do bring about their own

stresses and trials, think of his birth as the beginning of your new life,

one in which you will become the person you want to be.

The most important thing to remember, is that you are in control of your

life, and you do have the ability to choose the situations that come to you

and the people that surround you. This may not seem very apparent at the

moment, but it will become more obvious as time goes on.

I look forward to hearing from you again in the (not too distant) future and

hearing that you have found happiness and peace.

With love

Anneliese

GD227 [GD227]

Wednesday, 21 February 2001 3:04 AM