being slave to ego

[Guest guest]

Hi again Anat,

 

I hear you saying a couple of different things here. One, that you find

being a slave to your ego is causing you problems. Secondly, that you

want to become 'ego-less'---to get rid of your ego altogther.

 

May I offer another approach? I believe that your ego has a very

important job in your psychic life and that, without an ego, we are in

deep psychic trouble. I was raised in a religious context that promoted

the thinking of destroying the ego so, I think, I know what you are

talking about. However, I totally disagree with any approach like that.

 

However, we don't want our ego to control our lives. We want it to have

the appropriate place in our psyche. This is difficult to try to explain

in an email as it is a process of growth that has taken me many

years---and I am still working on it. So, don't get discouraged. It is

an exciting journey.

 

A poor analogy that helps me is to think of the ego as the chairman of

the board of an organization. As I said, this is not a perfect analogy.

The ego has a proper place in coordinating what the other board members

have to say----different parts of our personality as well as input from

our senses, intuition and other people. This information is always

incomplete so we will never be perfect. Saying this, if we listen to

'the board' and evaluate and integrate what it has to say, the ego can

the coordinating factor. However, If the chairman (the ego) refuses to

listen to what the other members have to say, it will lead to mutiny by

them. This is what I believe is the inappropriate place of the ego. A

good therapist can be a very helpful adjunct in this process. Therapists

are not just for 'the mentally ill' but also for those struggling with

their own process. If we think of ourselves in a continual growth

pattern and that our problems don't make us " bad " but are the growing

edge that life wants us to struggle with right now, we can be more

patient with ourselves. In sounds to me that you have a sincere heart

and want to become a more healed person. Wonderful! That's a major step

in the right direction!

 

Let me know if this makes any sense to you. I wouldn't expect you to

understand it until you have been in the process for awhile but my hope

is that you realize that the ego has its rightful place in your

personality. Respect it for what it is but don't let in run your life to

the exclusion of other valid elements---both inner and outer.

 

Peace,

 

Celeste

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate,

 

Thanks for the encouragement. The healthiest people I know are in

therapy for personal growth. Too often, we dismiss that possibility when

the pain lessens.

 

Thanks.

 

Celeste

[Guest guest]

another " hard feeling " that i am dealing with recently is Ego.

 

I realize and feel that my big bloated ego causes frictions with people and

that it lessen enjoyment of life. it is a blockage that i do want to

overcome.

 

 

I adore egoless people because they are usually happy with what they have,

it seems that they do not have extra-ordinary goals,

they are not so self-centered or self-aware so they behave more naturally

etc. but i know only few people like this

 

I feel there is a great reward to giving up my ego. and i am ready to give

it up - but i do not know how to start. it is so integral part of me.

sometimes i find myself too proud, too bragging, compliment-demanding in a

childish way.

 

 

of course after reflecting about my behavior - i am " not proud " - on the

contrary.

 

does someone of this group know the way of getting rid of ego, fear,

insecurity ?

i know it's a simplistic question.

tia

Anat

-

Caroline Abreu <crow

ùáú 24 îøõ 2001 18:02

Guidelines for Therapists with Fat Clients

 

 

> This brochure for therapists who treat fat people, which is printable or

available

> for purchase in bulk, is from the National Association for the Advancement

of Fat

> Acceptance (NAAFA). Yes, they prefer the term fat to overweight or obese.

There

> are other brochures for health care professionals and tips for airline

travel,

> etc.

>

> For people who are stymied by their health care professionals or

therapists

> because of their fat bias, these might also be good to bring to

appointments as

> reminders to remain objective in treating clients rather than focusing on

their

> fat.

>

> http://www.naafa.org/documents/brochures/therapyguide.html

>

> --

> Blessings,

> Crow

> " Look for Rainbows in the Darkness "

> --

>

>

>

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>

>

[Guest guest]

Celeste,

 

Im really enjoying your postings. I agree with you 100%. I dont see myself

as *mentally ill*, and I've been going to *therapy* in various forms for 20

years. I see therapy as personal growth. And I love discovering new parts

of myself. Im not in damage control anymore but see myself as peeling back

the layers to my authenic self.

 

I did rebirthing for years and was more damaged at the end of it because it

didn't allow the ego a voice, it didn't allow me to honour my boundaries,

so, I see those parts as integral to my whole persona. I see the process of

life as learning to accept all parts of me, and working slowly at disarming

behaviours created in my childhood, that don't serve me anymore. This path

has lead me to confidence, spirituality and my relationship with myself and

the universe.

 

Love this process......

 

Kate

[Guest guest]

dear Celest

 

i understand (in theory) what your meaning about the place of ego.

i have problems with the practice...

i am still thinking about your words.

Anat