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sport coaches, good atmosphere and negative thoughts

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dear people

 

I'de like to pose a question that bothers me right now and love to hear your

opinion

 

I started attending capoiera lessons a month ago.

capoiera is a brazilian maritial art which is involved with a lot of

acrobatics, flexibility dance and cheerful music. I learned it for half a

year at the univ. but now i started to attend a private course.

 

I am about 40 years old and i practice with little children and young

students and that's wonderful because i enjoy the atmosphere of youth and

joy and the lightness of young people .

 

however i detest the personality of the coach. I always felt he is phony

and greedy.

he is not the spiritual type he is trying to pose. all the time he talks

about that he doesn't care about the fee - but i feel that money is very

important to him. and i do not judge him for this because he is a brazilian

trying to make a living in a foriegn country.

 

i must say that he treats me nicely and he does try to please me. but i

always have an inner feeling that he cares about my money because i am an

adult,

 

yesterday we had a special seminar and he called me at the end in a little

hesitation and started saying that my presence is very important to him

because i am a grown-up

etc etc. and then he asked me to pay extra money for the one seminar.

 

I agreed but than some of the students told me that they didn't pay for the

seminar at all.

 

I must emphasize that i don't mind paying.honestly it's not the money that

matters here but the feeling of being used.

 

It will not be wise to confront him either in this matter because this will

create tension in the future and spoil the good atmosphere,

in any case he is not the mean type and not the petty type. he usually gives

us 3 times a week instead of two lessons and he doesn't charge for it. he

just saw that i can afford paying him so he asked, it was not a convenient

situation to him because he mumbled and i almost pitied him - bust still i

have the feeling that he is an opportunist.

 

I do not want to quit this class because it is wonderful for the body and i

enjoy the

the physical activity and the ability to be with young nice people. but

being too perceptive and seeing too much hearing too much together with my

big ego

and seeking perfect people - in this case spoiled the enjoyment.

 

now i am in a kind of a dillema: should i stay with a coach that i don't

like his personality just for the knowledge that i can purchase ?

i all the time think abou Joan BAez song: " just take what you need and leave

the rest "

 

i am not perfect too.ofcourse ... but somehow i look for perfect people

,,,perfect life...

 

 

I have an inner feeling that in this case my negative attidude *is* the

problem.

that i have to change - so that these unimportant matters won't mind me and

cause me obbssesions.

i wish i could treat this situation in a more light way. i am soooooooo

heavy ,,,,

soooooooooo petty,,,, and this is the sin and the punishment together.

 

please help with your ideas

 

thanks in advance

anat

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