Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 TO EXERCISE OR NOT TO EXERCISE? *:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-. 1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. 2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 and we don't know where the heck she is. 3. The only reason I would take up running is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 4. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up. 5. I wouldn't mind learning to swim if I could figure out a way to keep my cigarettes lit. 6. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing. 7. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body, like on our knees. 8. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 9. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 10. I don't like treadmills or stair masters... they just remind me that my life is going nowhere. 11. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 12. If you are going to try cross country skiing, start with a small country. 13. I tried yoga once; it reminded me of my old days in college trying to fit twenty people in a Volkswagen. 14. I found that jogging causes a loss of fluids - it makes the ice jump right out of my drink. -- Blessings, Crow " Look for Rainbows in the Darkness " -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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