Something to Think About- Parenting

[Guest guest]

Crow,

I have had the theory that the parenting instruction manual is hidden in

the placenta and " they " whisk that away staight after childbirth- any

wonder we all struggle so much as parents.

I try very hard to be as open and honest with my children as I can be.

Sometimes their questions take me aback and I have to be honest enough to

tell them that I need time to think about a good reply. When my eldest was

3 she asked how my expectant sister-in-law was going to get the baby out

and then asked how it got in. Hmm- not ready for this one. After telling

her she asked, " Do sperms bite? " Oh well, I try!

I also think that no matter how hard we try to " do the right thing " others

also have a huge influence on our children. So many times I have been in

the supermarket, having well meaning but unhelpful people come up and tell

my children that they don't like lollies (candy) whilst my children are

demanding them. Well, why would my children ask for something they didn't

like?

Ninox

 

<<Too bad we don't have instructions printed on us when we are born, eh?

And that

it is hard to be a good parent if you weren't parented well... heck, it's

hard to

parent even if you were ;-) I just like to encourage people who have been

parented

poorly (that is not a value judgement, parents can be wonderful people but

still

be lousy parents and mates) to seek some form of therapy to work on their

childhood issues before they perpetuate them in their relationships with

their

children and partners. It is a proactive thing to do and can save some

pain for

the next generation by stopping the cycle of abuse, neglect and

manipulation.

 

What a gift!>>

[Guest guest]

Ninox:

 

LOL... maybe that is why animals eat the placenta; most of them don't seem to

have

a problem with parenting ;-)

 

Remember that joke about a child asking " Where do I come from? " and her parents

going into the full birds and bees lecture, while the child sat quietly. When

they

asked if she had any questions, she said, " My friend Sue said she is from New

Jersey. " <G>

 

I think people trying to " fool " kids into thinking they don't want something is

crazy... they know what they want. You may be able to give them healthier and

just as pleasant alternatives, but you have to convince them to want that

instead,

not tell them they don't want what they asked for! I am perpetually amused by

children raised in households that have no television and limit junk food and

other items unacceptable to the parents, who go off to their friends' houses and

indulge anyway. It's not just the limits... children deserve explanations for

why

they need a healthy diet, abstinence from intercourse, avoidance of recreational

drugs, alcohol, and violent media exposure. When they have those explanations,

rather than the " because I said so's " they have a template for behavior that

carries them through life, rather than a framework to rebel against.

 

All you can do is give them the roadmap... you can't get them where they are

going. They have free choice just like we do, and we need to remember that so we

can support their ability to make thoughtful and positive choices as they become

gradually independent of us (always good for their self esteem and confidence).

I

think we forget that as kids get older, because we are used to doing everything

for them as infants, but I don't think it's an accident that the first word many

children learn is " No! " ;-)

 

bluemoon wrote:

 

> Crow,

> I have had the theory that the parenting instruction manual is hidden in the

> placenta and " they " whisk that away staight after childbirth- any wonder we

all

> struggle so much as parents.

> I try very hard to be as open and honest with my children as I can be.

> Sometimes their questions take me aback and I have to be honest enough to tell

> them that I need time to think about a good reply. When my eldest was 3 she

> asked how my expectant sister-in-law was going to get the baby out and then

> asked how it got in. Hmm- not ready for this one. After telling her she asked,

> " Do sperms bite? " Oh well, I try!

> I also think that no matter how hard we try to " do the right thing " others

also

> have a huge influence on our children. So many times I have been in the

> supermarket, having well meaning but unhelpful people come up and tell my

> children that they don't like lollies (candy) whilst my children are demanding

> them. Well, why would my children ask for something they didn't like?

> Ninox

 

--

Blessings,

Crow

" Look for Rainbows in the Darkness "

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