trousers and salespeople

[Guest guest]

Anat:

 

I don't think there is such a thing as being too perceptive.

There *is* such a thing as being too sensitive, however.

 

Everything is about us, and yet nothing is about us.

 

We can't function well if we project our fears and suspicions on

everyone we meet. We can function well if we are honest and

straightforward and do not play games with others or expect them

to read our minds. That is often a big problem in personal

relationships; we can't get what we need if we don't say what we

need, and we can't expect others to know what we are needing or

thinking even if they love us.

 

I think that the best course of action is to do as you have said,

return the trousers with an honest statement that you do not want

them, not that you can't afford them (because that was a tactful

lie, wasn't it?). Your boundaries will continue to be mercurial

to others if you are not clear about them yourself.

 

Perhaps you are stressed because you feel you will lose face by

admitting that you just didn't want the danged pants in the first

place. Well, get over it ;-) People return things to stores all

the time. His relationship with you as a teacher should have no

bearing on your relationship with him as a customer. Those are

two different relationships.

 

On another related note...

 

I'm not fond of people I know trying to push products or

insurance or Tupperware on me, but I learned how to say no to

them over time, after being stuck with a bag full of something I

had no need for several times because I was being " nice " . People

can be pushy. Stay loose and pleasant and just tell them you're

not interested. You can be nice and still say no.

 

Another interesting way to deal with these folks is to have

something to sell yourself. It's a " dirty trick " to pull on them,

but when they break out their wares or catalogs, pull out your

own. They will usually avoid you after that. I don't really sell

anything, but I have a lot of catalogs and brochures I can use as

props. So far no one has taken me up on buying anything ;-)

 

The same goes for proselytizing... every time a Mormon or

Jehovah's Witness or the like shows up at my door with tracts, I

hand them one from someone else that I keep in a stack by the

door. I'm not particular. I'll give the Mormon stuff to the JW's,

the JW stuff to someone else, I'll throw in a Baptist Faith and

Message or a Chick tract or even an informational brochure on

Wicca or something. The look on their faces is worth it.

 

I honestly believe there should be some sort of set up for

deprogramming people who get involved with multilevel marketing

or network marketing so that the rest of us can make choices

based on something besides fanatical high pressure sales tactics.

I am frankly tired of someone showing me a product, then telling

me I can't buy it unless I belong to their 'club'. I take that

with about as much grace as someone telling me I can't get to

heaven unless I wear a beanie with their logo on it.

 

Blessings,

Crow

 

pine wrote:

>

> Linda

> problem is that i see too much hear too much,

> very perceptive.

> he is too.

> sensing like an animal.

>

> i know i have to do my truth. but it gives me a lot of stress to to do this

> did: go return the trousers and speak my truth.

>

> just the thought of this situation makes me stressed :-(

>

> Anat

>

[Guest guest]

Linda and Crow

I thank you a great deal for your reassuring echo.

i needed it. I'll do it with or without loosing face.

i learned a lot this day.

Anat