once i start you can't shut me up...(and silly story)

[Guest guest]

for some reason this seems relevant right now....i think there is a point or two

in it, it's up to individuals to extract their own of course.

 

i live in seattle and have a phobic size fear of earthquakes. so, in february we

had what i deem to be a huge one, in contradiction to all the scientist saying

" nope, that was not " the big one " , it's still imminent " . to put my idea of huge

in perspective, i can feel it when a bus goes by a block from my apartment, so

6.8 earthquakes feel quite life threatening to me. of course, i am stubborn and

won't consider moving elsewhere due to this fear. the 6.8 in february was the

5th earthquake i have been through, so obviously thus far i have survived.

granted this is not a fear i can just choose to throw myself into and face at my

whim, probably part of why it scares me so much. for some reason this stuff just

came to mind and i am now sitting here pondering the strange ways the universe

takes care of me without really allowing me to ignore things that frighten me.

 

in february, while my apartment was jolting, light fixtures falling off the

ceiling, stuff falling in the hallway blocking my first reaction to escape out

my front door, and narrowly missing getting knocked out by the large ceramic

tile above my living room doorway that has the chinese character for happiness

on it, i was online. the first thing i did once the eternity of jolting stopped

and i managed to drag my sobbing heap of self off the floor, was try to use the

phone, and low and behold i was still online! here is where i was being taken

care of in a funny way. i have several very close friends from far away online,

5 of them were scheduled to be visiting me the next day, and one of them was who

i was talking to before the quake started and was available to comfort me

directly following, as well as contacting the other 4 and preparing them for

what they were flying into the next day. they were all wonderful for the next 4

days at helping me pull myself back together.

 

another time we had an earthquake, just over 2 years ago, the universe's idea of

getting little ol' me through the ordeal, was that it happened while i was

holding one of my friend's legs after massaging through about half of her 14

hour labor while she gave birth to her first child. couldn't run away from that

one!

 

looking back, i also remember that all of these events, while really scary and

uncomfortable, were catalysts for self awareness, trust, and change, literally

shaking me up when i was stuck (each time there has been a quake it happened to

hit during a time of some emotional stagnancy or depression). i am still scared

to death of earthquakes, still have a little bit of post traumatic stress

symptoms. but i also know i can survive, see new perspectives, trust a bit in

myself (i did not leave my friend in labor high and dry) and trust the universe

(i'm not dead, homeless, or buried alive). one of my friends said " fear has it's

place in telling us where there might be danger, fear has no place in telling us

where there cannot be success " . getting through stuff like this each time

increases my ability to be a little more adventurous about deliberately

exploring some of the smaller, less life threatening things that scare me that i

can face on my own terms to an extent.

 

does anyone remember the url to that woman's 6 part story about making friends

with her soul and integrating? or possibly the subject line to look for in

archives?

 

~kimberlee

 

..

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Kimberlee,

Having no personal experience with an earthquake, for me they are

about loss of control (same with tornadoes). You have No Control over

any aspect of an earthquake, you're just a piece of driftwood in the

tide. Sounds like you are making the most of your earthquake

experience; learning about yourself and trusting the universe?

Audrey

[Guest guest]

I MUST reply!

I would not live in earthquake territory! OR, behind a DYKE or Dike(?) OR

along the Mississippi river. Sometimes, I believe the 'Universe' is KIND

enough to WARN US! This has nothing to do with Fear! It has more to do with

simple Common sense! OOHHH I can hear my hate mail!. HEED a message from

the 'Earth'! So, you loose everything! You would anyway! Just live to tell

your story. Or, will this email be your epetaph (can't spell)

Would you live in a city block where there are 10 rapes, two murders a week?

month?

I have always been a skeptic about the --'Death Limits' that people go

through for thrills, and what they put others through for that thrill!

Then again, --what do we really have to loose, anyway? --food for thought!

Rose