Healer Issues

[Guest guest]

Anat:

 

Well, deifing your healers is also an exercise in frustration... we

are all human, and becoming disillusioned with a religion, a therapy,

a lifestyle, etc. based on whether or not you judge the therapist as

holy or perfect is rather short sighted. It is a human tendency, but

it is the result of our love of illusion.

 

The fact is, that the issues are there to begin with in most people.

Awareness is just the first step. Personal work takes time. No one is

perfect. And I've known many therapists who were profoundly effective

with others (and doctors, and psychologists, and ministers...) who had

desperately poor personal lives or bad health. It just happens. For

one thing, as I mentioned before, they may be giving away their energy

to help others.

 

It is easy to say that a person needs to work on themselves first. I

say it to every student that I teach, every client on my table. It is

very easy to say. It is a discipline to actually do it. When you talk

to a mother, who has a job, children, familial responsibilities, and

all the other energy demands she may have to think of herself first,

she may feel that is greedy or selfish. Of course it is more important

to think of it as the analogy of riding in a plane; you have to put on

your own oxygen, the flight attendant tells you, before you put it on

your dependent loved one. Ah. So you need to make sure you can breathe

before you can help others. Ah.

 

That is not the way the world works, for the most part ;-) As a matter

of fact, it is a very 'Buddhist' way of thinking, taking care of

yourself and your own wellbeing before others. The 'Christian' way of

thinking is self sacrifice and humanitarianism, and it is almost a

badge of courage for a person to become burnt out or ill as a result

of it. " Look, " people say, " she has given so much of herself that she

is worn out. " People demand this of others, to the point of resenting

or insulting others who make difficult choices to renew themselves.

 

I have heard these comments about others:

How could she give up her children like that?

How could he go to a retreat when he has so many responsibilities?

He should have enough time on his hands to do this for us.

How come she needs a vacation alone?

Why is he going on sabbatical? Doesn't he like his work?

 

In all those cases, the person being spoken of had made a decision to

reconfigure their lives. Life has a way of getting in the way when you

are doing personal work.

 

Myself, I started nursing when I was nineteen; I worked a couple of

years and went back to college. The fall after I graduated I started

energywork training. After that I worked four days a week and often

taught the other three, for several years. When I quit my job, left my

work, changed my address and shifted my perspective, it was not for

myself... I fancied myself in love. And it didn't work! I was lost and

unfocused. So what did I do? Instead of taking that time for myself, I

went back to work, submerged myself in teaching again. Yet again, when

I moved to marry, my life changed drastically, but my focus was

outside myself. Yes, I ate the foods I should and did my yoga and

exercised and all that. But I was throwing meat at the lion, I was

never taking the time to examine it. Last year my personal health

reached a crisis point, and in the midst of my search for diagnoses

and improvement, I discovered something. One, I had let go of many of

my personal 'responsibilities' gradually. Two, my journaling had

changed. Three, I was mining things out of myself I thought had been

long resolved.

 

Boy, have I learned a lot about myself in the past year. All that I

knew about the nature of us, and had helped others with, was finally

sinking in, and the energy I had been letting flow through me was

sticking at last. A great long time ago, a woman I respect very much

told me I had 'spiritual diarrhea'. What she meant by this was that I

was an excellent channel, clean and giving, but that nothing stayed

with me to improve or nurture me. I laughed at the time. My health was

good, I was happy. Now I understand what she meant. The effects of

this are cumulative, like debauchery.

 

Take a look at Madam Blavatsky. Overweight, a heavy smoker, she was

the cog of the metaphysical movement. There was nothing wrong with her

mind... she had sacrificed her body on the path she took. If we want

to live long and productive lives, we have to consider that. Look, for

instance, at the Dalai Lama. While he has responsibilities, he is well

cared for and personally nurtured, spends a lot of time in meditation

and prayer. His face is unlined, he looks peaceful. BUT. He has no

wife or children, no " job " , no mortgage... his role in life is to be

what he is, to glow.

 

If we want to glow, we often have to give up other things. It may not

seem fair, but that's the way it is. The shaman in tribal cultures had

no other responsibilities but the health of the tribe. Otherwise he

was housed and fed. It was the same for ministers/priests. Do we do

that for our healers today? No. So is it really any surprise that they

often have poor health or pathological family lives?

 

The irony is, that people will complain and impose guilt on the healer

if they do not totally sacrifice themselves. It is a Catch 22. They

are expected to give and give, for little or no money, yet maintain

their personal health, be prosperous, beautiful, have white teeth,

shiny hair, and a good personality. They should never complain and

should always be looking for more ways to give. HUH??? Give me a

swallow of that nectar, Apollo. I think I'm going to need it.

 

The pie is only so large, and only so many pieces are available. If

you share them all, you will have none left to feed yourself ;-)

 

Blessings,

Crow

 

 

 

, " pine " <pine@i...> wrote:

> as i was reading it i noticed that

> i do have a tendency to judge theories/philosophies/attitudes by the

> results/health of their holders.

> if i meet a radiating person, full with joy and health i want to

learn more

> about his beliefs and adopt them.

> if i meet a very brilliant peson, skilled , genious and he is

ego-maniac,

> angry, frustrated - then i reject his theories and say: look what

they lead

> him to!

>

> i judge by the results. it seems to me a simple common sense.

>

> if you are tuned right .then where from comes the " crap " ?

>

> when i get sick i take it very seriously. as a self-defeat. what did

i do

> wrong i ask my self. I'de like to adopt a " lighter " attitude.

> but " lightness " doesnt come so easy

>

> Anat

[Guest guest]

Caroline Abreu wrote:

 

> The fact is, that the issues are there to begin with in most people.

> Awareness is just the first step. Personal work takes time. No one is

> perfect. And I've known many therapists who were profoundly effective

> with others (and doctors, and psychologists, and ministers...) who had

> desperately poor personal lives or bad health. It just happens. For

> one thing, as I mentioned before, they may be giving away their energy

> to help others.

 

Crow,

 

This is a good point too. The way I look at it is, none of us is perfect.

But I look for

teachers/mentors who are succesful *in the area I want to learn at that point in

time*. If I want to learn

yoga, I would not take it from an out of shape person. But a fantastic yoga

teacher who has relationship

problems would be the right person for me. Same goes for if I were looking for

relationship help - I

wouldn't listen to a person whose relationships are in a shambles. I want

someone who has had success in

relationships, even if they can't do yoga. <g> People too often look for a

sponsor, therapist, healer or

even spouse to help them in all areas and then get disappointed when they don't

meet all their needs. We

need to find people who've mastered the area we are looking to change, because

those are the people who

know the ins and outs of making changes in those areas.

 

Linda

[Guest guest]

Linda:

 

The only problem in this, as it applies to healers, is that there is a wide

variance of what is considered " good health " ... or healthy behaviors, for

that matter. Of course a lot of it is personal choice. If you are having

problems with alcohol, for instance, an alcoholic therapist is probably not

the best way to go ;-)

 

On the other hand, the universe has an interesting way of bringing these

people together to mirror for each other. I tell my mentorship students to

carefully scrutinize the issue patterns of the people who chose them as

helpers. Often they will find things they need to work on themselves (sort

of like... Gandhi? LOL)

 

Blessings,

Crow

 

> " Dr.Nature " <drnature

>

>

>Re: >Re: Healer Issues

>Sat, 27 Oct 2001 13:14:25 -0700

>

>Caroline Abreu wrote:

>

> > The fact is, that the issues are there to begin with in most people.

> > Awareness is just the first step. Personal work takes time. No one is

> > perfect. And I've known many therapists who were profoundly effective

> > with others (and doctors, and psychologists, and ministers...) who had

> > desperately poor personal lives or bad health. It just happens. For

> > one thing, as I mentioned before, they may be giving away their energy

> > to help others.

>

>Crow,

>

> This is a good point too. The way I look at it is, none of us is

>perfect. But I look for

>teachers/mentors who are succesful *in the area I want to learn at that

>point in time*. If I want to learn

>yoga, I would not take it from an out of shape person. But a fantastic

>yoga teacher who has relationship

>problems would be the right person for me. Same goes for if I were looking

>for relationship help - I

>wouldn't listen to a person whose relationships are in a shambles. I want

>someone who has had success in

>relationships, even if they can't do yoga. <g> People too often look for a

>sponsor, therapist, healer or

>even spouse to help them in all areas and then get disappointed when they

>don't meet all their needs. We

>need to find people who've mastered the area we are looking to change,

>because those are the people who

>know the ins and outs of making changes in those areas.

>

>Linda

>

 

 

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