Fwd: Unconditional Love and Healthy Boundaries

[Guest guest]

Unconditional Love and Healthy Boundaries

Adapted from The Findhorn Book of Unconditional Love, by Tony Mitton

(Findhorn Press, 2003).

Simple Solution

The phrase “unconditional love†is a popular one. But what does it mean,

exactly?

Where do healthy boundaries –those emotional boundaries that define our own

unique presence --fit in? Don’t boundaries keep us separate? Is merging with

another the goal?

Are you misunderstanding the true nature of unconditional love? Find out what

this wise author has to say about it, and its relationship to healthy

boundaries, here:

Unconditional love has no goal in view. It simply is. It is the love that

made us. I believe that this is the root of humankind’s restlessness, that we

are

looking for unconditional love and do not realize that it is already within

us. So we fantasize and when we hear about unconditional love, we think we must

emulate God and extend it to everybody immediately.

Then, of course, we flunk and feel a failure. Unconditional love is a

universal principle, but it is also a learning experience. If we take the

conscious

decision to choose love as our spiritual practice, our personality blooms and

flourishes. We grow.

But a misunderstanding of the true nature of unconditional love can be

disempowering and weaken a person‘s capacity for self-sovereignty. It can

foster

dependency and co-dependency in a relationship. If I surrender or ignore my

boundaries, then I don’t have to worry about or do the hard work of

maintaining

them. But boundaries don’t have to be separative at all; they are defining,

and

they help coalesce and focus energy and presence in a unique way.

Unconditional love does not say “I love everyone equally,†but rather “I

love everyone appropriately and in response to their uniqueness.†And, very

importantly, unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of

behaviors.

 

 

 

Copyright: Adapted from The Findhorn Book of Unconditional Love, by Mitton (Findhorn Press, 2003). Copyright © 2003 by Tony Mitton. Reprinted by

permission of Lantern Books.