Fw: Michigan Department of Environmental Quality

[Guest guest]

Really entertaining.

Donna

 

This is an actual letter sent to a man named RyanDeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, Stateof Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State'sletter before you get to the response letter.

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; MontcalmCountyDear Mr.. DeVries:It has come to the attention of the Department of EnvironmentalQuality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the abovereferenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legallandowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorizedactivity:Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams acrossthe outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued priorto the start of this type of activity. A review of theDepartment's files shows that no permits have been issued.Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity isin violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of theNatural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 ofthe Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the damspartially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding atdownstream locations. We find that dams of this nature areinherentlyhazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore ordersyou to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restorethe stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brushforming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall becompleted no later than January 31, 2003.Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed sothat a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity onthe site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcementaction.We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in thismatter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you haveany questions.Sincerely,David L. PriceDistrict Representative Land and Water Management Division** This is the actual response sent back: **Dear Mr. Price,Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me torespond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget,Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (Stateunauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" damsacross the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for,authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would behighly offended that you call their skillful use of natures buildingmaterials "debris." I would like to challenge your department toattempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place youchoose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could evermatch their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their damingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam workethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that theymust first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of damactivity.My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminateagainst my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beaversthroughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are notdiscriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedomof Information Act, I request completed copies of all those otherapplicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we willsee if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes andStreams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is -- aren't the beaversentitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers arefinancially destitute and are unable to pay for saidrepresentation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. TheDepartment's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failedduring a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is anatural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. Inother words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone ratherthan harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the streamrestored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact thebeavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay anyattention to your dam letter -- they being unable to read English.In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to buildtheir unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green

and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do tolive and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources andEnvironmental l Protection lives up to its name, it should protectthe natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case canbe referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why waituntil 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then andthere will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harassthem then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a realenvironmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe youshould be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beaversalone

 

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step!(The bears are not careful where they dump!)Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable tocontact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending thisresponse to your dam office.THANK YOU RYAN DEVRIES + THE DAM BEAVERS