Bashing females vs bashing males!!!

December 15, 2005

--- , Pandora51@a... wrote:

> > In our society there are plenty of these creatures, from Femme

Fatales to

> > Dissillusioned Things. Dr. Laura talks about them. They have

these screwed

> > up fantasies in their twenties and when the reality comes

through intsead

> > they turn into fat, bitter, hogs who have nothing but poison to

offer to

> > themselves and any " man " they may have.

(much snipped)

> I can't help but wonder why You Mike, seem to be bashing women,

rather than

> merely agree or support Doc's view on one particular woman who has

apparently

> bashed him personally. I have seen Doc respond to males just as

vigorously.

> It certainly is not because she was a woman.

>

> Your post implies that Doc was bashed simply because he is a

guy.

Hi Paulina,

I did NOT take his post that way.

What I did notice what that Mike has some issues in him own past and

did NOT have an emotionally successful way of handling those issues.

So my post ACCIDENTALLY REVIVIFIED his own hurt, his own pain, and

several of his own negative experiences with a certain type of woman.

He was NOT bashing women, but agreeing with me with my attitude I

had towards the back stabber that attempted to sleaze me behind my

back.

I know in my own case, when I meet a person like that woman who is a

MAN I go to them and we have a private talk.

We men can handle MEN issues much easier than woman issues,

especially since the current indocrination about how a man

is " supposed " to act towards a woman era.

I believe 100% that Mike did NOT mean any bashing when he did his

post.

Mike, if you are coming to my Feb 16-17-18 seminar, I'll fix that

strong negative emotional issue with you. No need to have it hold

you back. And there is also no need to ignore it.

Thank you Paulina, Aaron and Mike for your very good input.

December 16, 2005

In a message dated 12/15/05 7:23:02 AM, docspeed2001 writes:

believe 100% that Mike did NOT mean any bashing when he did his

post.

Mike, if you are coming to my Feb 16-17-18 seminar, I'll fix that

strong negative emotional issue with you. No need to have it hold

you back. And there is also no need to ignore it.

Hi Doc:

I, of course, will take your word for it that Mike did not have any intention to bash women. Having said that, I must say that I have spoken to many, many men, who for some reason or another cannot let go of the hurt that they have experienced if their first love ended badly for them.

What I am told is that they have some inexplicable need to get back (hurt, use, love em and leave em attitude, make them cry) at women for that first, initial imprinting experience with a failed love. It is almost as though some men were crushed to such an extent that they cannot recover.

I don't think that Mike is the only one that may benefit from your "fixing" him in that area. If men spoke openly with one another as women tend to do, or when a man trusts a woman to speak to her openly (or in a therapeutic relationship with their shrink), they would be able to rid themselves of some of these subconscious imprintings, that color their every subsequent relationship. Or at least realize that is what is happening with other men as well. Women, I have noticed, for the most part, are able to move on from a relationship that ended badly and try again and again. It is only when they run into a bunch of similar experiences with some hurt men, do they label ALL men as jerks, or worse.

I may be totally off base here, but I wonder if guys see that Post by Mike and others with similar views, as not bashing women, and women have a different take on it. The hostile tone was there I think, and only with a little bit of prodding it came tumbling out. Deborah Tanner and others have studied how men and women say and hear things sooo very differently. It is a wonder that we ever get together without killing one another, LOL

Paulina

December 17, 2005

I did not read any bashing in his post either.

He was referring to a couple of specific groups of women.

Much as you were talking about a specific group of men.

I have encountered people from each of these groups.

They do not represent their respective genders.

Just as not all women fall into the group Mike was referring to,

not all men fall into the group you are referring to.

I think women are just as susceptible to a one-time

imprinting as men are. And also with some men,

their attitudes towards women are developed through

multiple negative experiences with women.

All of us humans are subject to complexed sets of beliefs.

Men and women do think differently.

Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same.

When my neice was little (she's 26 now), her parents

decided that they were not going to limit her toys to

just "girl toys." One day her father and I went into the

house, where she was playing with her toy trucks.

Pointing to the 3 trucks, from largest to smallest,

she said look Daddy, "This is the daddy, this is

the mommy, and this is the baby truck."

I never heard her brother, or my sons, talk

about their toys that way.

Rick

-

Pandora51

Friday, December 16, 2005 7:15 PM

Re: Bashing females vs bashing males!!!

In a message dated 12/15/05 7:23:02 AM, docspeed2001 writes:

believe 100% that Mike did NOT mean any bashing when he did hispost.Mike, if you are coming to my Feb 16-17-18 seminar, I'll fix thatstrong negative emotional issue with you. No need to have it holdyou back. And there is also no need to ignore it.Hi Doc:I, of course, will take your word for it that Mike did not have any intention to bash women. Having said that, I must say that I have spoken to many, many men, who for some reason or another cannot let go of the hurt that they have experienced if their first love ended badly for them.What I am told is that they have some inexplicable need to get back (hurt, use, love em and leave em attitude, make them cry) at women for that first, initial imprinting experience with a failed love. It is almost as though some men were crushed to such an extent that they cannot recover. I don't think that Mike is the only one that may benefit from your "fixing" him in that area. If men spoke openly with one another as women tend to do, or when a man trusts a woman to speak to her openly (or in a therapeutic relationship with their shrink), they would be able to rid themselves of some of these subconscious imprintings, that color their every subsequent relationship. Or at least realize that is what is happening with other men as well. Women, I have noticed, for the most part, are able to move on from a relationship that ended badly and try again and again. It is only when they run into a bunch of similar experiences with some hurt men, do they label ALL men as jerks, or worse.I may be totally off base here, but I wonder if guys see that Post by Mike and others with similar views, as not bashing women, and women have a different take on it. The hostile tone was there I think, and only with a little bit of prodding it came tumbling out. Deborah Tanner and others have studied how men and women say and hear things sooo very differently. It is a wonder that we ever get together without killing one another, LOLPaulina

December 17, 2005

In a message dated 12/17/05 3:12:50 AM, rick writes:

When my neice was little (she's 26 now), her parents

decided that they were not going to limit her toys to

just "girl toys." One day her father and I went into the

house, where she was playing with her toy trucks.

Pointing to the 3 trucks, from largest to smallest,

she said look Daddy, "This is the daddy, this is

the mommy, and this is the baby truck."

I never heard her brother, or my sons, talk

about their toys that way.

That is an interesting phenomenon in terms of your niece and her trucks. My sister's nephew was never allowed to play with toys that represented guns or knives. His parents wanted him to also have non-gender toys except very much discouraged any form of violent toys.

He was bought a Barbi doll, and when his parents were out of sight, he maneuvered the legs and arms in such a way, as to fashion a makeshift gun out of her, and ducked around the corner and aimed her at some invisible enemy and whispered "POW, POW".... I cracked up.

I too, have never seen a little girl use a Barbi in such a way. LOL

I agree, we are too complex to box up into a tidy little package. Again, I am curious if women on this list took the original post the same way as the men who thus far, have added their opinion. It just, may speak to the notion that the genders process the same information in different ways.

Paulina