One Step, Blue Step, Green Step, Floor

[Guest guest]

Hey Doc,

 

I just finished comparing both ads. The first one had Troy's comments

in it in Blue print. Both both Ads are, Im pretty sure, are identical

to each other, aren't they?

 

The only thing slight thing I noticed was that the size of the columns

changed a little bit from before and after.

 

So, if I was going to critique your ad, There are 7 things that might

add a few more responses to it.

 

1. Putting a few bullet points in.

2. I only see 3 of the 4 learning styles referenced. Am I missing the

4th or was there a reason why it was left out?

3. Most of the paragraph titles are not centered in their paragraph.

4. Usually, your ads have at least one or two typo's in them. I didn't

see any here. Was that on purpose?

5. If your competition sees your " fraudulent trainers " paragraph, Are

you inviting a lawsuit for libel?

6. Your use of the generic term " kung fu " alot, Could that turn some

people off? because they categorize it, into other watered-down

disciplines? Perhaps if you emphasized the " Hidden Dragon Style " it

would set you apart from the competition more?

7. I'd underline the 5 as well, in the last paragraph...5 minutes away.

 

Other than these minor points, your ad looks very well put together.

Very thorough and covers alot of bases., lots of stories, lots of

verifications, lots of setting Your standards of authority that you

followed and what you expect of others too. In a sense, you are

explaining, the rank and file system of qualifying them.

 

I still don't see much to compare between both ads...except for Troys'

commments left out...aren't they identical? Which could mean, that

you believe your original ad was really good and Troy's comments were

not persuasive enough, to change your mind on anything, I guess.

 

Oh..one more item.

 

8. Hmm......Do you think the Big headline Title, " H.D. Kung-Fu? " grabs

people's attention " enough " to read the rest? Or would it be better to

have a two or three liner type headline?

 

How did I do?

 

Richard