Kung-Fu ad

[Guest guest]

Hi Doc,

 

The third ad is definitely the best. Why?

 

The first version with the small type, and nothing really

popping out at me would have been easy to set aside,

and put off reading, unless I had a specific purpose.

 

The headline is intrigueing enough to get my attention, but

the first two paragraphs are weak compared with v2 & v3.

When I first read v1, I thought it needed to be broken up, it

needs more white space, and bulleted items. It looks like a

lot of work to get through this. There better be a payoff.

There better be some useful information in here.

 

With version 2, the blocks of text are broken up, not with bulleted

items, but with underlining, and bold. Very good. Sometimes the

bullets can make it look too sanitary, which also can make the ad

look suspicious. Too much polish usually kicks my BS detector

into high gear.

 

v2 also has more attention grabbing first couple of paragraphs that,

besides having interesting action words, they also make bold claims.

I start making pictures in my head right away.

My imagination is engaged.

My emotions are aroused.

 

v3 has a good overall layout, the paragraphs are easy to distinguish.

That way if something has caught my attention in the initial reading, I

can go back and read it again, if I want to. Which reminds me, the

powerful suggestions to turn the page over, and read the other side,

at the bottom of each page is excellent.

 

Through out the text, the theme of the headline is repeated.

Secret and Amazingly Effective.

 

Now, to chunk down.

In the first paragraph, I was engaged. Everything in it is of interest to

me. Learning EVERYTHING? Jet Li is awesome. I can see him now.

I can become more agile, faster, smarter & Hmmm ... I'm not sure I want

to be dangerously lethal. I would like to have control in any situation.

Well, I guess if I am dangerously lethal, that gives me more options,

and therefore that puts me in control. Okay, I want dangerously lethal too.

 

The next few paragraphs continue to pique my interest. More secrets,

effective beyond belief, action verbs, with or without weapons.

I keep reading.

 

Mass nuclear annihilation is still a threat, but it doesn't really hit home

with me. My feeling is that in the case of mass nuclear bombing, I

will either be instantly destroyed (which I would have no defense against)

or I will be away from the path of such attack. Maybe I could use Kung Fu

to battle the zombie-like mutants that evolve from the fallout.

 

What is more real to me, and gets me emotionally engaged, is the

threat of an individual, or group of individual terrorists, intent on

killing themselves, and as many people as they can take down with

them. There is a situation I could control, with proper training.

I could help them with their suicide, so that they don't also commit

mass homicide. Dangerously lethal would come in handy there.

I could send them to meet the 72 Virginians.

But I digress. See what happens when you engage my imagination?

 

It is important for people to know how to defend themselves.

Peace through superior firepower.

Do I want to win? Yes, I am a capitalist. I am inherently competitive.

What three things?

 

No barriers. No children or mentally incompetent.

" Because we keep the art real and effective. "

10 seconds? I know you, and your students don't need

a full 10 seconds, but it is a believable number for the public.

 

Away form the other styles, because I'm no spring chicken,

and my body doesn't recover from injury as fast as it used to.

 

7 - 15 times faster than what? Oh, I see in a subsequent paragraph

that it is 7 - 15 times faster than in groups.

Aren't your teaching techniques also exponentially faster than

the techniques of other teachers?

How long before I will have usable skills that I can apply in

a real world situation? I'm an American. I want it now.

 

What HDKF is not - I have experience with these watered down

schools. I enrolled my son in tae kwon do a few years ago. I was

stunned when I saw little kids wearing black belts. It really diminished

the respect I had previously held for the rank. It was a good activity

for my son, but I'm not interested in that kind of program.

 

WORLD CLASS black belt. Now some of that previous respect

is returning.

 

Must qualify - Ah, mutual respect.

Do I need previous formal training?

Private trial period. That's more than fair.

 

Only 7 open slots? No time for procrastinating.

I better do this now, before it's gone.

 

The location paragraph is much cleaner without listing all

of the nearby towns. The people who live in that area

know where Medford is.

 

Thank you Doc.

This has been a fun, and educational exercise.

 

Rick