Hidden Dragon Kung Fu Copy

[Guest guest]

> What is the Secret and Amazingly Effective Martial Art of…

> “Hidden Dragon Kung-Fu?”

 

The headline uses a question. This is much better than a flat sentence,

or even a command. A question evokes a response. The use of quotes is a

proven method of drawing the reader's attention. Hidden Dragon has a

poetic attraction and lends an air of mystery

 

> By Mr. Jack Williams

> Master Level Black Belt

 

Notice that as in other ads Dr. La Tourrette is not given as the

author. Comparable to NOT having the head guy answer the office phone,

this also shows there are many ranks and levels to this professional

organization. The narrator can tell stories. Curiously, though, Doc

isn't mentioned in this ad.

 

> “Get the REAL Edge NOW!”

> Hidden Dragon Kung-fu is a complete method of living & of life

> extension. When you learn Kung-fu you are learning EVERYTHING! A

> COMPLETE FIGHTING ART! You become wiser, healthier, stronger, with

> better character & Jet Li like awareness, reflexes & speed. You become

> agile, faster, smarter & dangerously lethal!

 

Catering to an older market with life extension, it's not just about

hitting people. This is repeated in various ways. There is much

repetition in this ad - which is good. If the reader doesn't get it the

first time, he'll get it later.

 

This paragraph also uses a current martial arts star: Jet Li. Use of

the popular culture and current names to bolster the reader's attention

is almost always good.

 

& s tighten the ad space, and should be used throughout in my opinion.

 

There is some ambiguity in the adjectives: Do I become more agile

faster? Faster, Smarter - these are without a comparison. They run on -

I think these are for the reader to access in his own mind.

 

> Hidden Dragon’s techniques are invisible, powerful, quick & effective

> beyond belief. Part self-defense…secrets of becoming stronger, faster,

> tougher, and more dangerous! Part exercise; secrets of becoming fit,

> healthy, younger, more flexible! Secrets of exotic mind training;

> healing energies, competence, becoming smarter, developing psychic

> skills! This is the intriguing complexity of Kung-fu.

>

> Are you interested in discovering the REAL and Ancient Kung-Fu

> Secrets, along with the “step-by-step” techniques for instantly &

> DRAMATICALLY exploding your Self Defense skills? And doing it at a

> “user friendly” studio? Then read on!

 

Both questions assume a positive answer. If you are even remotely

interested, you will accept the command to read on.

 

" User friendly " introduces am important theme in this ad. Safety, and

getting skills without fear of embarrassment, expand the clientele.

 

> Kung-fu is the oldest and most devastating form of self-protection

> with and without weapons, PERIOD! Yet, its effectiveness is NOT under-

> stood by the Western world.

>

> It is a paradox in our age of mass nuclear annihilation that the

> average US citizen knows so little about his own self defense, even

> when we are threatened daily by criminals & mal-contents that rob and

> bully. The need for Kung-fu is made apparent by every daily newspaper

> and the rising crime rate all over the world. A study of Kung-fu will

> give the trainee indispensable

> confidence, self-defense & mind mastery skills.

 

Present the problem and then give the solution. This ad does this

again, which is also a good use of repetition. The prospective client

is propelled.

 

> “… life or death!”

> Hidden Dragon Kung-fu deals with the serious matters of life or death.

> Matters concerning your physical and mental health; matters concerning

> nasty & sadistic people intent on hurting, maiming, or killing you… &

> what you can do about it! HD Kung-fu will take care of the nasty

> business of assault, robbery, rape and the like.

>

> “You want to win?”

> I sure did! I wanted to fight in tournaments also. The deadly expert

> looked at me and said, “You want competition? Do these 3 things and

> you’ll win!” And, 3 months later I won my first competition. Since

> then I’ve won every time I’ve entered. John Hofman, black belt,

> Medford, OR

 

Testimonials are good. Use of numbers - 3 things - 3 months - mixes the

quantifiable, the measurable with the mysterious or ambiguous " the

deadly expert(s) " , also used again. My question again is: Why not

mention La Tourrette? Is this to center attention on a group of people?

>

> “Think you are tough?”

> Some of us think that we are tough and we grow arrogant about our self

> defense skills. It’s happened to me too, then I’d return to Hidden

> Dragon and within a single, sweaty session with the deadly experts

> there, my awareness is restored.

>

> “Size is no barrier!”

> A small, out-of-shape man can master Kung-fu, self-defense and mind

> training as effectively as an athlete. Age is no barrier but we do not

> accept children or mentally incompetence students. Why not? Because we

> keep the art real and effective! Most studios dumb down the lethality

> and skill levels for children, for families and for soccer moms. We

> adhere to the concept of giving the REAL secrets that actually make

> you stronger, faster, smarter and dangerously lethal. A man of slight

> built can down a stronger opponent in less than 10 seconds. A 65 year

> old man can easily and effectively combat several thugs at a time.

 

" mentally incompetence "

" slight built "

 

Why the grammatical errors in this particular paragraph?

 

> “Secrets of Ancient Wisdom?”

> Through more than 5,000 years of Chinese development and refinement

> the physical blows, kicks, healing arts and mental training have been

> perfected to a highly superior skill. Kung-fu teaches how to down an

> opponent through highly-skilled coordination and manipulation of

> hands, feet, knees, and mind tactics. Moves by a kung-fu expert are

> unseen, swift, precise and powerful.

>

> “Kung-fu does NOT

> limit the client!”

> To be blunt, tae kwon do’s high spinning kicks; karate’s lock-out

> punches and lock out kicks are bad for your joints. Judo and Aikido’s

> hard jarring falls eliminate many adults from practicing them, and in

> the process injure kidneys, knees, shoulders and ankles.

>

> Hidden Dragon

> Gives YOU the EDGE

> with private one-on-one training! With PRIVATE LESSONS you learn 7-15

> times faster, and at group prices! You can practice fast or slow, hard

> or soft, intensely or gently. You can do Kung-fu at your own pace. We

> invite you to follow us along the path of Hidden Dragon Kung-fu. We

> promise you an interesting, exciting, challenging and safe journey.

>

> “Hidden Dragon Kung-fu does

> NOT cause self-injury!”

> Purely physical arts like boxing & cage fighting are only for the

> hugely muscled! If you do them after 30 you are over the hill,

> injured, & broken down. As you age, your body loses its speed and

> flexibility and you become less effective. Without Kung-fu energy

> drills our body stiffens, your muscles shrink & your fist and feet

> become less effective. But at Hidden Dragon Kung-fu you learn to

> defeat the opponent with the learned tools of Vital force, wisdom,

> combined with tactics & physical skills. The Kung-fu tools of timing,

> speed, mind mastery, energy drills, coordination, awareness, finesse &

> experience will help you master life!

 

" How much pain will you be in if you don't learn these skills? " See

Kenrick Cleveland's Report on Chinese Strategems.

 

> “What Hidden Dragon

> Kung-fu is NOT!”

> Okay, let me tell you WHAT WE DON’T DO! Here it is. We do NOT cater to

> children. It is offensive to us that virtually all karate, tae kwon

> do, judo and aikido schools have watered down their knowledge to a 4

> year old baby’s level, or to a soccer mom’s babysitter’s level. LOOK!

> There are tons of people in the martial arts business that have NO

> RIGHT passing around their “incorrect” information… Here’s what I

> mean: MOST DO “NOT” KNOW WHAT they are talking about! They “say” they

> teach self-defense, but they teach “sissy stepping”, kicking air and

> punching air! They cater to children & promote these want-ta-bee Power

> Rangers to black belt at such low ages of 5, 6 & 7.

>

> Many FRADULENT TRAINERS “claim” black belt degrees that are NOT the

> rank they’ve earned! Some are lowly Jr. Blue belts and have

> self-promoted themselves to unbelievably high black belt ranks. Right

> here in town one 1st degree black belt has self-promoted himself to

> 5th degree black belt! Another want-ta-bee calls his school “the

> Fighting School” but paradoxically he does NOT allow sparring in his

> school. Another trainer bases his belt rank testing on how nice you

> are in the class room! These are NOT valid criteria for martial arts

> skill achievements!

>

> You “must” QUALIFY

> at Hidden Dragon Kung-fu!

> All applicants must be adults to even be considered! No 4 years olds,

> no 10 year olds, no 15 year olds. We are NOT open to the general

> public. We do NOT train children. We do NOT train the sadistic. We do

> NOT train the criminally insane! A “FREE” PERSONAL PRIVATE INTERVIEW

> by appointment is required of all, EVEN if you are a genuine

> multi-level black belt. During the interview you ask your questions &

> we tell you about the school. Then, if you choose to (assuming you

> pass the FREE qualifying interview), you are allowed to sign up for a

> 4 private lesson Trial period. We do the private one-on-one’s because

> most clients learn 7-15 Times FASTER than in groups.

>

> “Our PURPOSE of the

> 4 PRIVATE INTRO SESSIONS?”

> The purpose of this very inexpensive trial period is to see if you

> like what you learn from us…and to see if you “qualify” for more

> specialized, serious Kung-Fu training. So if you want to check us out,

> call 776-6986 right now for a personal private interview by

> appointment only.

>

> “WARNING! Only 7 open slots!”

> Because all of our trainers are WORLD CLASS BLACKBELTS most of their

> schedules are crammed full & we only have 7 slots for new students. So

> call 776-6986 right now before all available slots are taken. (NO

> walk-in’s! We are too busy for unannounced people!)

>

> “Our LOCATION?”

> Just “5” MINUTES AWAY

> & EASY TO FIND, for anyone!

> We are in down town Medford, OR, at 1024 Court street, right across

> the street from Modoc tires. Easy to find and quick to get to, even if

> you are coming from Ashland, Medford, Grants Pass, Prospect, or the

> interlaying towns of Phoenix, Talent, Shady Cove, Central Point, Eagle

> Point or Butte Falls.

>

> CALL 776-6986 NOW, FOR YOUR PERSONAL “FREE” PRIVATE INTERVIEW by

> appointment ONLY! Thank You.

 

Contrast. Qualify. Safety. Scarcity and take away. These are all good

formulas. Repetition. Turn the page with a command. Finish with a

command. Yes, the reader does need to be told what to do!

 

Which brings me to the format. I also printed these ads. I like the

newspaper format. It allows the reader to scan to the left and to the

right. The reader is allowed to pick up on several trails. Short

sentences and paragraphs allow the reader to better digest the copy.

 

Good exercise.

 

Anthony VanWagner

www.astralatlas.com

The Astral Atlas