Guest guest Posted August 31, 2007 Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 After many years of marriage, I think it is coming to an end rapidly. The husband has already consulted with a divorce lawyer, which came as sort of a shock, but not totally. What astounded me, is how my otherwise rational and calm thoughts and emotions, totally did a flip. I feel a bit lost in that, though I know EFT, Silva Mind Control, EMDR, and have many of Doc's materials, as well as other trainings, and am a psychotherapist by profession, I can't seem to get a clear enough thought process as to how or what to do remotely or otherwise to get a handle on my emotions and the situation. The situation being is that financially I have trusted and left all of our financial affairs to him, only to realize that there are hidden assets, and property that he and his brother are partners on, and are not above board with most of the financial part of things. As things stand now, I won't even have medical insurance once the marriage is dissolved. As a psychotherapist I work mostly with the underprivileged population, so that my own finances are basically peanuts. So my request is for advice as to what methods I can use ethically to have influence on him to be fair and not rip me off unnecessarily. My emotions are running my thought process and though I tap and that helps, I feel like there is something I can do to cause him to be honest and fair (for the first time in his life). I should know what to do, but find myself unable to focus and feel scattered, which is so unlike me.... So if someone can point me in the right direction with specific things to do, think, etc., that would be so cool and I would so appreciate that. Thanks very much, Looney-feeling Paulina, lol :-)************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2007 Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Hey Paulina, Did you ever see that movie with Rosanne Barr where she finds hubby is cheating on her and going to leave her, so she sits down and lists all the things he values. It was called She-Devil, or something like that. What's cool is how she systematicly and with a " Thick Face and Black Heart " (excellent book for your situation by Chin-Ning Chu) takes away everything of his. His freedom, home (burns it to the ground) money, ect. Although what Roseanne did was outside the laws I think the intention of her pulling herself up and taking control of the situation was very powerful and very useful. In Oregon here properties are able to be owned outright by one spouse and the other can't touch it, but I know that's not true in many states. And even though you don't have a lot of money, you can do tons of reasearch for free over the internet, and down at your local courthouse. > The situation being is that financially I have trusted and left all of our > financial affairs to him,I feel like there > is something I can do to cause him to be honest and fair (for the first time > in his life). I should know what to do, but find myself unable to focus and > feel scattered, which is so unlike me.... Get mad and get even. He has no right to do this and you have every right to make him pay in cash. You are a full partner in everything. You helped to build those assets. They are half yours. And get a good lawyer. Check references and ask how much it will be upfront for their services. I've found lawyers are like contractors they ask what they want you to pay not necessarily what they need to do the job. Also go to your bank and get copies of all paperwork. Call your tax person and get copies. Get his social security number. By the end he should pay you a monthly allowance. Do some research. Then take him down. I don't know if this will help. I just recently went through a courtcase with renters and these are some of the things I discovered. The more information you have on him the better! And do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself kindly. Think of something positive you want in the future, something that is truely yours and will make you feel really good! Kali , Pandora51 wrote: > > After many years of marriage, I think it is coming to an end rapidly. The > husband has already consulted with a divorce lawyer, which came as sort of a > shock, but not totally. > I feel a bit lost in that, though I know EFT, Silva > Mind Control, EMDR, and have many of Doc's materials, as well as other > trainings, and am a psychotherapist by profession, I can't seem to get a clear enough > thought process as to how or what to do remotely or otherwise to get a handle > on my emotions and the situation. > only to realize that there are hidden assets, and > property that he and his brother are partners on, and are not above board with > most of the financial part of things. As things stand now, I won't even have > medical insurance once the marriage is dissolved. As a psychotherapist I work > mostly with the underprivileged population, so that my own finances are > basically peanuts. > > So my request is for advice as to what methods I can use ethically to have > influence on him to be fair and not rip me off unnecessarily. My emotions are > running my thought process and though I tap and that helps, > > So if someone can point me in the right direction with specific things to do, > think, etc., that would be so cool and I would so appreciate that. > > Thanks very much, > Looney-feeling Paulina, lol :-) > > > ************************************** > Get a > sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2007 Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Kali: You are an angel... I don' know why but that word and concept about you came to me spontaneously. I did see that movie with Roseanne Barr, and thought it was fabulous. I called around for lawyers, and some wanted $10,000 as a retainer alone before doing any work....A good friend suggested Mediation (as an initial step), to see how honest he is willing to be, and that will go on record if he is dishonest.. and may be something for the Judge to look at. The thing that makes me the saddest is that I am above board in my life and with people and situations, and genuine, and I am feeling as though he will rob me of that, and force me (though no one can force anybody to do anything, I know that)....to change my very essence, and play dirty too. But I am prepared to do that, if he does... Thank you again, for your words and the power I felt in them when I read them. Thanks again. Paulina************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2007 Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Hi Paulina, I would first find an excellent divorce attorney and tell him everything you've told us. Second, be of good cheer! If you've been above board in your financial dealings and your husband hasn't, then he is totally screwed. I've never been married or divorced, but I have been a banker for 18+ years. People in charge definitely tend to frown on people who try to dodge taxes or "hide" assets. This gives you a major advantage in any dealings. I can pretty much guarantee that your husband has been far less clever in his schemes to "hide" assets than he would ever imagine. I believe a well trained accountant and/or auditor will wipe the floor with your husband. The only part of your post I found disturbing was where you indicated you want "methods I can use ethically to have influence on him to be fair and not rip me off unnecessarily". This is Earth element snivelry. I know it when I see it because I am an Earth element too, and feel like this also. It's OK to get yours! Doc taught me this in June and it's worth repeating: It's OK to get yours! So GET YOURS. In terms of getting a handle on your emotions, I would strongly suggest the rooster crown pull on a very regular basis. It's specifically designed to get your endocrine system back in sync. Also, you've been on the list for awhile, so you're familiar with the Inner Demon Destroyer. Carry a little scratch pad, and write down your bad thoughts and feelings. When you get home, IDD them and cross them off your scratch pad. So "Even though I feel unfocused, I deeply and completely..." Good Luck Paulina - Joe W "Pandora51" <Pandora51 ; mindmastery-essentialskills Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 1:30:03 AM seeking some personal adviceAfter many years of marriage, I think it is coming to an end rapidly. The husband has already consulted with a divorce lawyer, which came as sort of a shock, but not totally.What astounded me, is how my otherwise rational and calm thoughts and emotions, totally did a flip. I feel a bit lost in that, though I know EFT, Silva Mind Control, EMDR, and have many of Doc's materials, as well as other trainings, and am a psychotherapist by profession, I can't seem to get a clear enough thought process as to how or what to do remotely or otherwise to get a handle on my emotions and the situation.The situation being is that financially I have trusted and left all of our financial affairs to him, only to realize that there are hidden assets, and property that he and his brother are partners on, and are not above board with most of the financial part of things. As things stand now, I won't even have medical insurance once the marriage is dissolved. As a psychotherapist I work mostly with the underprivileged population, so that my own finances are basically peanuts. So my request is for advice as to what methods I can use ethically to have influence on him to be fair and not rip me off unnecessarily. My emotions are running my thought process and though I tap and that helps, I feel like there is something I can do to cause him to be honest and fair (for the first time in his life). I should know what to do, but find myself unable to focus and feel scattered, which is so unlike me....So if someone can point me in the right direction with specific things to do, think, etc., that would be so cool and I would so appreciate that.Thanks very much,Looney-feeling Paulina, lol :-)**************************************Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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