Here's why some people's self-help methods don't work very well!

[Guest guest]

(Hi Group. Just putting on a private post, because the materials fit this

group's intentions also.)

 

Hi David,

 

Here's a quickee about the book that you and Donna recommended by

Sandra.

 

All three of them have been interesting reads, and the last one, the

one recommended was her best one, but...

 

Sandra is way too incomplete and loose thinking for me in her use of

modalities and sub-modalities as far as knowing what she does and

teaches.

 

Because of that looseness I find I have to re-write her messages into

a way that actually fits the brain and not what she thinks it is.

 

Once I rewrite them, they are fantastic.

 

For example on page 50 she talks about, " Remember the concept of

adjacent possibilities? " She the says, " Right next to the thought

that tells you to fear is the alternative thought that says it's safe

to trust; adjacent to the memories of past hurts are options to let

them go and choose thoughts that empower you again... "

 

And I realize that she is using a metaphor that has worked for her in

the past.

 

And it does sound good. But sounding good is not enough for me.

 

Why not do it accurately? It's easy enough to do.

 

To me it's totally wrong because the person's locations for their

different realities are expressed with how they access those

realities with their analogue movements.

 

Fear's location is very different than the location of 'safe', which

is very different from the location of 'trust'.

 

Fear has a total different kinesthetic feeling than does 'safe'.

 

It also has a different color, distance and frame (just to name a few of the

differences).

 

Memories of past fears are NOT adjacent (except metaphorically) to

the options of letting them go...or to the skill of being able to

choose other thoughts that empower you.

 

Fear usually comes from the outside and hits them in the gut, an

adrenalin (3rd chakra) reaction.

 

If it's from the present it comes from right in front of them.

 

If it's from the past is usually comes from their own past storage

location. With most people that storage place is to their left side and low down

(there are other locations). It's an associated feeling.

 

Fear cannot be taken care of by " feeling safe " . Attempting to just

do 'thought switching' just doesn't work. Those emotions are at

opposite ends of the spectrum.

 

You cannot jump from one to the other.

 

Fear is taken care of by knowing what to do, and having the

confidence that you can do it.

 

Knowing what you can do has a different location than 'fear', and also is

different than 'confidence'.

 

Anxiety is fear of the future, and that is taken care of differently

than either of the above. It's location is also totally different.

 

Feeling safe is a memory of a time that they felt safe. It's much

higher in their energy field.

 

So many inconsistencies.

 

One of her major premises is the concept of " letting go " and thinking

of a `good-feeling memory " .

 

" Letting go " is another word for dissociation, but she doesn't tell

you why or how. She says " distance yourself " , or " leave those

thoughts floating like clouds " .

 

Doing that dissociation will remove the negative feelings for awhile.

 

Then she mentions just " shift into a good-feeling memory " . Just doing

that is pretty darn difficult.

 

Usually you clear the negative memory first using some type of

intervention, and then you go to a break state, a neutral state when

you are not fearful. From that point you can choose to go to another

more positive memory, working up to the one that you really want in 3-

4 steps of association, anchoring and future-pacing to see if it took

properly, or not.

 

Attempting to go from fear to safe really doesn't work.

 

On page 53 she does mention " there are subtle nuances that the brain

is aware of that are important in the process of association " .

 

But her process is always the same two steps.

 

First 1) she is dissociated seeing herself in a rocking chair on the

porch...

 

....then 2) she is in that chair feeling the gentle breeze. She calls

that a happy state.

 

Her excited state is 1)she sees herself skiing down her favorite

slope, and then she 2) associates into that picture and feels the

crisp, cold air.

 

But they both use the same exact submodalities.

 

I think that if Sandra had Donna's Radiant Circuits, and some clarity

in how the mind works and files modalities and sub-modalities that

last book would have been great.

 

John La Tourrette, PhD