Had I done it, I'd be a COWARD!!!

[Guest guest]

How Dr. La Tourrette's Inner Demon Destroyer worked for me!

 

The other day, I was driving down the main drag and I saw someone's car (Mr.

X's) parked on the street. I knew it was his car, but I had to turn around

to check the plate (he's from out of state) and a couple other visual

identifications I took notice of a few days earlier when I met someone else

I knew who was borrowing his car for a bit.

 

I can't stand Mr. X. I'd even go as far to say that actually just about hate

fucking the guy (I do have several other choice words to use as well, but

I'll try being polite).

 

What surprised me was my reaction to seeing it on this occasion, since I had

thought he had gone back home by then and since I had actually seen the car

there before a couple days before.

 

I wanted to slash his fucking tires!!!

 

But god damn, if that isn't one of the most cowardly things I could think

of. I don't know where the fuck that even came from. That is NOT something I

do.

 

First off, if he did know that I slashed his tires, he'd have me arrested. I

don't want to be arrested.

 

And if I did it without him (or anyone else) knowing, which would have been

pretty easy to do even in that somewhat highly visible location, he wouldn't

know why someone did it.

 

What is the point in that really?

 

There's no real lesson involved, and it really wouldn't do anything to

benefit me, either. Plus, it wouldn't have been satisfying to me anyway.

 

Ultimately, it seemed very unsatisfying and felt cowardly to me.

 

Plus, in reality, it was more about MY emotions than anything he ever really

did.

 

And shit, after I really thought about it, IT WAS NOT HIM that I was really

mad at. I still don't like the guy, but IT WAS NOT HIM I was really pissed

at.

 

But I was still PISSED!!!

 

So at this point, I knew I needed to find a suitable place to take care of

my emotional 'problem'.

 

I drove down to the grocery store (close by and private location), because I

realized where my anger REALLY came from and I instantly knew I wanted to

get rid off it.

 

I wanted to get rid of it, RIGHT NOW!

 

I was NOT going to wait till I got home, because I could have easily, and

probably would have accidentally started to feel better on my way back even

in those short few minutes. That's sort of like sweeping things under the

carpet, that dirt will still be there later on.

 

For me, the timing and the proximity were vital for maintaining that

associated state for what I was going to do.

 

I knew I didn't want that anger. Not at that level. I didn't want it because

it was screwing me. I had known something was bothering me for quite a

while, but I really never registered into what it was specifically.

 

I knew I was angry at something, just didn't quite know what it was exactly.

 

I've been pissed before, I've been REALLY pissed before, but I really don't

remember being that pissed at one person at any given time. I swear it was

at least a 12 on a scale of 0 -10, and if I had 'stirred the pot' so to

speak... well, who knows.

 

As soon as I slammed that damn car into park, I was blowing that fucker out

of there (with the Inner Demon Destroyer).

 

Well, I blew that anger down to about a 1.

 

that was good. I was happy with that.

 

I do need to keep some of that anger for an important reason, and a 1 is a

very manageable level. I want to keep that tiny bit of anger as a part of my

decision making process.

 

And you know what? I did and I still do feel a whole hellava lot better.

 

It was like a great weight was lifted off my chest, like I could see through

a different filter.

 

It was a " HOLY FUCK " moment.

 

I have much better things I can focus on now with much greater clarity. I

did start to realize why I made certain decisions in the past, and while

they weren't necessarily bad decisions, they weren't really helping me to

get what I really wanted either.

 

And installing that state of empowerment really did help, although I

probably could have picked a better one.

 

Still, it worked good enough.

 

Thanks Doc!

 

Gary Graves

 

P.S. As an added benefit, I did achieve certain other realizations about

myself, which I will take care of, although using a different technology

(submodalities) would probably be better suited for it.

 

There is much something of value I really want to keep in there, too. I will

take that into consideration in how I handle it.