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Hillbilly Medical Terms

 

Benign..........................What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria.

Barium..........................What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section........A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan.........................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize.................Made eye contact with her.

Colic.........................A sheep dog.

Coma.......................A punctuation mark.

D & C.........................Where Washington is.

Dilate........................To live longer than your kids do.

Enema................Not a friend.

Fester.................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula.................A small lie.

G.I.Series...........World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail............What you hang your coat on.

Hospital.............The biggest building in town, other

than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

Impotent...................Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain...............Getting hurt at work.

Morbid.....................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff...........A Doctor's cane, sometimes

shown with a snake.

Node.........................I knew it.

Outpatient................A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test.

Pelvis........................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery.

Secretion.................Hiding something

Tablet......................A small table to change babies on.

Seizure.....................Roman emperor who lived in

the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness.........Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor.........................More than one.

Urine...........................Opposite of mine.

Varicose.....................Near by

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> Hillbilly Medical Terms

 

> Impotent...................Distinguished, well known.

 

Cross my heart xXx, years ago when I lived in Alaska there was a man

with IMPOTENT on his license plates. It was a rather big fancy car

at that. It was all I could do to keep from wrecking the vehicle I

was driving for I was in hysterics with laughter, & worse yet stuck

behind him in rush hour bumper to bumper traffic. Anchorage has well

over 200,000 folks, so yes we do have traffic jams up there. Anyway,

I just could not believe a MAN would have that on his plates! I mean

of all the things to reveal about yourself, that?! Of course my mind

was thinking medically. When I told someone else about it they

casually remarked that is how they pronounce IMPORTANT down south, &

that the cars driver did happen to be from the South. Never will

forget that license plate!

 

 

Vache

(reliving an old chuckle in life)

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Guest guest

You seem to have a sense of humour, and you seem to be at the apex of such

humour, so, for the sake of humour only, I hope that you can appreciate the

following:

 

The name VACHE has several meanings in French. Basically a vache is a cow.

Or, it can mean " swine, sod, cow, bitch " . i.e. ah la vache! = oh, the swine!,

or " les vaches " could mean " the cops, the fuzz, the filth " , or " valise en

vache " is a leather suitcase, or " un vache de mec! " = one hell of a guy!

etc.

 

Morton

 

vache920 wrote:

 

> > Hillbilly Medical Terms

>

> > Impotent...................Distinguished, well known.

>

> Cross my heart xXx, years ago when I lived in Alaska there was a man with

> IMPOTENT on his license plates. It was a rather big fancy car at that. It

> was all I could do to keep from wrecking the vehicle I was driving for I

> was in hysterics with laughter, & worse yet stuck behind him in rush hour

> bumper to bumper traffic. Anchorage has well over 200,000 folks, so yes we

> do have traffic jams up there. Anyway, I just could not believe a MAN

> would have that on his plates! I mean

> of all the things to reveal about yourself, that?! Of course my mind was

> thinking medically. When I told someone else about it they casually

> remarked that is how they pronounce IMPORTANT down south, & that the cars

> driver did happen to be from the South. Never will forget that license

> plate!

>

> Vache

> (reliving an old chuckle in life)

>

>

> Getting well is done one step at a time, day by day, building health

> and well being.

>

> To learn more about the Gettingwell group,

> Subscription and list archives are at:

> Gettingwell

>

>

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