(No subject)

[Guest guest]

I know this isn't the point of the list, but it is important info sharing here.

 

Vicki, I empathize with you. That happened to me two years ago and flowing

through (learning how) it all lead to doing my dream of the film. I used all I

had to rent an apartment in new town, my transmission went out on the move, and

two weeks later learned that I could not work under my colleague's license after

all. My son's plane left US soil for Iraq with three weeks. As our friends

here in the US are going into panic about another

depression, I find myself very calm --- my daughter and I went through

two years of a personal financial " depression " ; and, I knew then that we

were being prepared. I knew several times that part of our journey was

for my 14 year old daughter's journey.

 

I want to offer you, and others, comfort and hope for what we are going through

together. I know we all have our story, and what has helped me was to share the

process and the healing, because I think we are forging new roads here. As we

all go through this shift we are in, in all it's levels I don't

even begin to understand, we will be able to draw upon what we have

learned in our spiritual journey through work such as ayrvedic,

integrative medicine, body-mind-soul connection, energy work, and

spiritual healing -- and our connectedness to each other. When we connect we

support each other, so I just

wanted to share with you and encourage you to keep doing your " work " ,

your heart's work, and I believe it will come together.

 

I was evicted from that apartment after managing to pay the rent for 15 months.

I was evicted when my cat killing birds in the condo neighborhood resulted in

enforcement of the " no cats outside " rule after a full year. As the neighbor

who facilitated it was vile to us, threatening my cat and to call the condo

association, I embraced her divinity, her soul's purpose and place in my space.

So when it went down, I was awed, by the opportunity to move on with nothing to

do but what I have wanted to do for three years. I put my belongings in storage

and I left to go do my film, which is coming out soon.

 

During that fifteen months I grieved and grieved and grieved. My son's deployed

took me to the deepest parts of my inner cave to be healed. Every time my

daughter and I went without one more thing ... no car for six months, no washer

and dryer - doing laundry in the tub, no phone, no internet, within hours of no

electricity, and now, technically, no home of our own for almost a year, my

intention was inner well-being and to embrace it. It was all triggered by and

over shadowed by my son's deployment to Iraq and the unraveling of all my seams

that held my exterior persona together ... the " never let 'em see you cry " part

of me. While my son was in harm's way, involved in something that every fiber of

me opposes, I could only justify that he is participating in protecting my

freedom of speech and maintaining the way of life we have in America; while I

personally lost it. I blogged, I joined Community Radio, and then Community

Access Television - I

exercised my " freedom of speech " , baby.

 

I embraced it and learned so much. I am grateful that it was usually one or two

" necessities " of American culture at one time and not all at once. There is a

freedom to not having a home right now ... aside from the aspect of my son

being in a war which will last for his lifetime, I've never been happier.

 

So, in 10 months I've been able to do the filming for my film and learn editing

and do the trailer, while living " below poverty level " (living on child support

based on when my ex was an obstetric resident in 2002) with zero funding and

crew to do the work. I have been gifted with the access to Community Access

Television to learn filmmaking and editing. I applied for 36 jobs in 2007 and

could only find work with an organic farmer. It was the best job --- on the

soil, in the sun, picking vegetables that would nourish my neighbors and friends

I know at the market. I could not find one ethical dilemma in that job. I have

been gifted with an apartment to live in while editing in MO - from April to

now. From December to April I was gifted with housing in California with several

friends and relatives, and I got to have an extended visit with my daughter,

soninlaw, and two grandsons; one of them is the star of my film (the hospital

birth). I have been gifted

with a brand new IMAC to edit just as I became proficient on the software in

July, and then was gifted with the software for the computer. I blessed to have

an attorney in IL who has done $20,000 worth of legal work on my behalf,

fighting my ex-husband who has fought child support re-evaluation for two full

years, hiding property, falsifying taxes, and going to jail for not complying

with court orders. And, through it all, on the road, meeting famous people in

the birth and healing field, Sarah Buckley, Michel Odent, Jody McLaughlin of

Compleat Mother, and people who will be quite well-known soon, I am amazed at

the blossoming of the heart and soul and thinking of my daughter, who could have

been be a spoiled doctor's kid. It wasn't until June when we finally saw her

father's million dollar

property that she cried and said, " Through everything we've been

through, I never felt poor until right now. " She has become so compassionate, a

deep thinker, and just today was articulating her thoughts on possible solutions

to housing, and how it is that everyone could have a home. This world is going

to be made better by her generation.

 

On hard days, my friends point out what she is learning from me ... and how our

generation is part of the solution by the refusal to focus on materialism before

people, especially babies and children.

 

This group was an important part of my experience during that time .... I want

to thank you and to tell you how much you all mean to me. I appreciate the work

you are doing.

 

Blessed be,

Janel

www.theothersideoftheglassthefilm.blogspot.com

 

I decided to post this note on my blog .... I didn't keep a journal while

filming, but as I leave tomorrow for the east coast and finishing up the

filming, I will be able to journal our trip.