Advantages of Smoking :) - Happy Anti-Tobacco Day

May 31, 2007

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1. Your butt looks smaller.

A fat wallet makes your butt look bigger. You spend most of your money on ciarettes, so your wallet is lighter. 2. You're footloose and fancy free. Life's a party when your're single. As a smoker, you will always be single. Hey, who needs to date a chimmey? 3. You enjoy life more. When you're about to die, every moment seems precious. Life is better because you enjoy the things you took for granted before. 4. You are popular. Loners are mysterious cult figures. With passive smoking awareness catching on, you'll only have cigarette for company. 5. You'll go places.

You sneak out of no-smoking zones to catch up on a cigarette. You see many places others haven't seen. Basements, rooftops, cellars and staircases, for instance.

6. You'll feel fit and lift.

You can't climb stairs without panting. So you use the lift. You walk into places feeling fit. 7. You'll be your own master. With every cigarette, you'll put an end to five minutes of your life. So you'll be a master of your own life. Or death. 8. You are respected and obeyed. Everytime someone strikes up a conversation, you strike up a cigarette. No one likes to inhale carcinogenic smoke. They speak less to you. You could mistake it for awe. After all, you are smart enough to smoke?

9. Your house will never get robbed.

As you will be up all night coughing, you will be able to protect your house from being robbed.

10. You will never get old.

As you will die young, you will never get old.