Heart Break: The Realization of Our Greatness

[Guest guest]

Good Morning!

 

Heart Break: The Realization of Our Greatness

 

Heartbreak is one of the most trying, difficult and hurtful processes

we can go through.

Heart break is not just an emotional state but can induce real

pathophysiologic feelings of pain in the heart. It has been said

that the " most sexual organ is the brain and the organ of most

intellegence is truly the heart " . We often think a lot with our

hearts.

 

Heart Chakra Energy

 

When the energy of our Heart energy center or Chakra is in balance,

we are compassionate, loving, empathetic, altruistic, peaceful, in

balance and truly have love for ourselves.

 

When the heart is out of balance in excess conditions, we tend to

express issues of co-dependency, poor boundries with often

demanding, clinging, jealous and overly sacrificing tendencies.

 

When the heart is out of balance in deficent conditions, we tend to

become anti-social, withdrawn, critical, judgemental, intolerant of

ourselves and others, lonely, isolated and depressed.

 

Heartbreak has a tendency to put our lives in perspective. Whether it

is with the breakup of a romantic relationship or lose of a loved

one, we need to take a look with an introspective eye. That is we

need to take a reflective looking inward : an examination of one's

own thoughts and feelings.

 

 

Our Belief System

 

The strength in our heartbreak really depends on the strength of our

belief systems about a relationship. Our mental attitudes and

beliefs set up our perspective and expectations. This in turn

dictate our relationships. With everything. With our self as human

beings, with life, with our friends, famliy, lovers, business

associates. Our attitudes dictate our relationships with our own

emotions, with our bodies, gender, and sexuality. Even with our

concept of God. We determine in our minds what constitutes success

or failure in any relationship.

 

 

" As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us

happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims "

 

It is important to remember that we are steering the ship. No matter

what external situations can happen to you, you have the ability to

take control of " how " you choose to look at this situation that has

been presented to you.

 

 

 

" Who Am I "

 

You have now been given a rare opportunity to look at yourself. To

observe your true self without any codependent entities around you.

Now is your chance. Who are 'You'?

I will not sit here and tell you, " It happens, get over it! " No. It

is hard. As seekers of light and love we take the the human traits we

formed early in life to use these traits on our journey. The journey

we seek is one of a Spiritual journey. We seek to better ourselves,

to follow our dreams, to seek out our light that will take us to a

higher plain. Depending on our beliefs we discover along our journey

the outside influences such as people, places, things: such as money,

property, and prestige or external manifestations such as looks,

talent and intelligence. These external dependencies or often, Co-

dependencies can distract us and make us feel better temporarily but

they cannot address the core issue - they cannot fulfill our

Spiritually journey. They can give us ego-strength but not self-

worth. True self-worth comes from accessing the eternal Truth

within, from remembering the state of Grace that is our True

condition. The real reason we have set out on our journey in the

first place.

 

We Need To Love

 

For it is Love and the lose of Love which truly allows us the

greatest steps in our journey as a Spiritual being. The fact, that

you yourself have loved is all that is required.

 

 

" Energy Follows Thought "

 

" With each beat of our heart and every breath that we take, we get a

new opportunity to make a choice as to where we want to direct the

energy of our lives. Every new moment offers a possibility to open a

crack in the door that brings forth the power of the universe. The

ever-present " now " is always offering new opportunities to improve

our lives. As we verbalize and visualize during our prayer meditation

sessions, the now is always turning the present into the past.

Scientists have recently determined that the human brain takes an

average of three seconds to process and transfer information from

reality to memory, to change the present to the past. Each new moment

gives us another chance to reevaluate in the light of the present,

giving us an opportunity to make new choices and decisions as to what

we want to do with our lives. " 1.

 

Energy follows thought. Where your thoughts are directed, there is

where your energy will go and manifest. Grieving losses are important

because it allows us to 'free-up'

energy that is bound to the person, object, or experience, so

that we might re-invest that energy elsewhere.

 

 

Grief and Grieving

 

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. Though we often

expect to grieve the death of a family member or friend, many other

significant losses can also trigger grief.

 

Examples include:

*The end of a relationship

*A move to a new community

*A much-anticipated opportunity or life goal is suddenly closed to us

*The death of a pet

 

" Until we grieve effectively we are likely to find reinvesting

difficult; a part of us

remains tied to the past. Grieving is not forgetting. Nor is it

drowning in tears. Healthy grieving results in an ability to remember

the importance of our loss -- but with a new-found sense of peace,

rather than searing pain. "

 

" Sometimes our reactions are so changeable, intense, or irrational

that we fear we may be going crazy. Often grieving people are afraid

to confront their grief for fear that if they open the door they will

be drowned in a flood of tears or rage. Though this is very unlikely,

allowing others to help us in our grieving is good 'insurance' that

we will keep our balance. No matter what our intense experiences of

grief may be they are temporary. There IS life after heartbreak -- if

we

acknowledge and work through our reactions, rather than trying to

stop them. "

 

" Fortunately, much of the process of healthy grieving seems to

be 'built into' our genes. Acknowledging and growing from losses is

such a natural process that much of it will happen without our

direction -- if we relax our expectations of how we " should " grieve

and give up some of our need to be in control. But healthy grivieving

is an active process; it is NOT true that, " You just need to give it

time. " One way of understanding the work to be done is to think of

grieving as a series of tasks we need to complete (not necessarily in

any

sequence).

 

 

Tips To Consider:

 

*To accept the finality of the loss;

 

*To acknowledge and express the full range of feelings we experience

as a result of the loss;

 

*To adjust to a life in which the lost person, object, or experience

is absent;

 

*To 'say good-bye,' to ritualize our movement to a new peace with the

loss. Good friends, family members, or a personal counselor can all

be helpful in doing this vital work. You can also do a good deal to

help yourself.

 

" Active, healthy grieving requires balance -- balancing the time you

spend directly working on your grief with the time you spend coping

with your day-to-day life; balancing the amount of time you spend

with others with the time you spend along; balancing seeking help

from others with caring for yourself. "

 

*Go gently -- take whatever time it needs, rather than giving

yourself a deadline for when you should be " over it " ;

 

*Expect and accept some reduction in your usual efficiency and

consistency;

 

*Try to avoid taking on new responsibilities or making major life

decisions for a time;

 

*Talk regularly about your grief and your memories with someone you

trust;

 

*Accept help and support when offered;

*Be particularly attentive to maintaining healthy eating and sleeping

patterns;

 

*Exercise moderately and regularly;

 

*Keep a journal; Write down your lessons. Healthy grieving will have

much to teach you.

 

*Read -- there are many helpful books on grief; some are listed

below. If grief is understood it is easier to handle;

 

*Plan, and allow yourself to enjoy without guilt, some GOOD TIMES.

 

*The goal is balance, not martyrdom;

 

*Carry or wear a linking object -- a keepsake that symbolically

reminds you of your loss.

 

*Anticipate the time in the future when you

no longer need to carry this reminder and gently let it go;

 

*Tell those around you what helps you and what doesn't. Most people

would like to help if they knew how;

 

*Take warm, leisurely baths;

 

*See a counselor;

 

*Get a massage regularly;

 

*Set aside a specific private time daily to remember and experience

whatever feelings arise with the memories;

 

*Choose your entertainment carefully -- some movies, TV shows, or

books can only over-intensify already strong feelings;

 

*Join a support group -- there are hundreds of such groups and people

have a wonderful capacity to help each other;

 

*Plan for 'special days' such as holidays or anniversaries. Feelings

can be particularly intense at these times;

 

*Pray;

 

*Take a yoga class;

 

*Connect on the Internet. There are many resources for people in

grief and heartbreak, as well as opportunities to chat with fellow

grievers;

 

*Vent your anger in healthy ways, rather than holding it in. A brisk

walk or a game of tennis can help;

 

*Speak to a member of the clergy;

 

*Plant yourself in nature;

 

*Do something to help someone else "

 

*Find motivating music that will turn you forward and allow you

the strength you need.

 

 

Find more on LOVE at:

http://www.peacefulmind.com/love_frame.htm

 

 

Andrew Pacholyk, L.Ac. MSTOM

Peacefulmind.com

Therapies for healing

mind, body, spirit

 

 

 

 

REFERENCES

 

1. " The Partners Within -- Using Prayer And Meditation For Personal

Growth " by Robert C. Felix. Please visit www.partnerswithin.com

 

2. Beyond Grief: A Guide to Recovering From the Death of a Loved One,

by

C. Staudacher (1987).

 

3.Grief's Courageous Journey: A Workbook, by S. Caplan and G. Lang

(1995).

 

4. How to Survive the Loss of a Love: Fifty-Eight Things to Do When

There Is Nothing to Be Done, by M. Colgrove, H.H. Bloomfield, and P.

McWilliams (1977).

 

5.When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by H.S. Kushner (1981).

Men & Grief, by C. Staudacher (1992).

 

6.The Gift of Grief: Healing the Pain of Everyday Losses, by J.J.

Tanner (1976).

 

7.Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the

Ending of Yours, by D.R. Kingma (1987).

 

8. Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One, by A. Smolin and J.

Guinan

(1993).

 

9.Father Loss: Daughters Discuss the Man That Got Away, by E.

Wakerman

(1984).

 

10.The Grief Recovery Handbook: A Step-by-Step Program for Moving

Beyond

Loss, by J.W. James and F. Cherry (1989).

 

11.How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, by T.A. Rando

(1988).

 

 

12. I want to thank many of my friends at the Pacific College of

Oriental Medicine and Dr. Ni at SU student center for their help in

tips and referencing.