Guest guest Posted June 23, 2002 Report Share Posted June 23, 2002 My one daughter is a teenager (14) and still wets her bed at times. How can I get her to stop. Is this problem hereditary as I was a teenager when I stopped wetting my bed. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thank you for your help. Yours Truly, Glenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2002 Report Share Posted June 26, 2002 Hello Glenda: Since seeing your post on bedwetting I have sat biting my lip not knowing whether to reply because my experiences and my suggested solutions are not in agreement with those of others. However, I have tremendous compassion for the bedwetter of any age. Mine continued on up to at least age14 and perhaps a year or two beyond, and for me it was seriously humiliating and debasing. It was something that I could never talk about to anyone until perhaps the age of 50 or even later. I am now open to relating my experiences and issues that I believe could assist those who go through this problem. There are volumes of information on the Internet and elsewhere on causes and prevention of childhood bedwetting including exercises of stretching the bladder through forced water retention - which not only increases its capacity, but strengthens the muscles as well - and the common sense approach of no liquids within two hours of bedtime. (Getting up too frequently during the night to urinate got to be a problem for me as an adult and I practiced the bladder retention routine during the day and my nighttime problems made tremendous improvement.) However, I heard a psychologist once say that in her many years of practice she always found an abusive father behind bedwetting. I don't know of other bedwetters so I can only speak for myself, but in retrospect that was the case for me. However, I could still have taken control of and stopped my bedwetting if I had been provided some support. So I don't take the abusive father as an excuse for my bedwetting. After about age 7 or 8 my bedwetting was infrequent but by that time my mother became hysterical when it did happen and while her yelling, screaming, and crying wasn't directed at me I was very much aware of the cause and effect reactions. I was not allowed to participate in the cleaning of the bedclothes nor the preparation of a fresh bed, something that I believe should be a part of the road to recovery for all bedwetters. I was not directly shamed by either parent for my acts, but I felt a tremendous weight of guilt and shame nonetheless. Outside of herbals, medications, etc., my suggestion would be to be firm but supportive of the child. Don't turn a bedwetting event into a disaster, and have the child be the one to remove the wet bedclothes from the bed, have them load the laundry equipment, and have them remake the bed with fresh linen. If it happens to occur on a school morning and all of this makes them late for school, let it happen. This teaches the child not only responsibility for their actions but more importantly it teaches them that they can also be part of the solution, something that I was never allowed to do and something that has been a difficult life lesson for me. I truly believe that had this approach been taken with me, then I would have been much more careful about drinking before bedtime, getting up in the middle of the night, and anything else I could have thought of to avoid the physical chores associated with wetting the bed. By someone else taking care of the mess, sure it was a disaster (as presented to me), but I didn't have to do anything about it. The bedwetting child needs someone supportive that they can open up to. Hopefully this is a parent. Someone needs to know what is happening in their life, or at least what they think is happening in their life, and how they are reacting to things. You can't select the bedwetting child out from the rest of the family and make their world the most important one because this can have an opposite effect of getting that feeling of attention through bedwetting. It takes balance. In my home, neither I nor my siblings could relate anything to our parents. All communication was one way, from adult to child. Any expression of concerns or feelings by a child was met with aggressive reaction. There was only one way, one world, and it was theirs, though even they disagreed amongst themselves. All through early childhood and on into adulthood and even now I have dreamed a lot. My childhood was also filled with loads of nightmares, some of which I can still remember as early as 3 years old. Yet I couldn't talk to anyone about my dreams or even nightmares, but I currently believe that they are a tremendous source of valuable information about what is going on in one's life. I find it helpful today to remember my dreams and use them as tools for things to work on in my life. If as a parent you can talk about your child's dreams and how they feel about them, I truly believe that can open up a view of how they feel about life. It can also help to open up what issues they are dealing with. That's some of my views on bedwetting. Jay <<My one daughter is a teenager (14) and still wets her bed at times. How can I get her to stop. Is this problem hereditary as I was a teenager when I stopped wetting my bed. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thank you for your help. Yours Truly, Glenda>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2002 Report Share Posted June 26, 2002 I too have put off my response. I do know that in some situations, chiropractic treatments do help. A nerve in the spine, that effects the bladder, could be effected by a misalignment of a disc or vertebrae. This could cause the bladder & the related muscles to not work at their peak ability. So, if this were my child I would go to a chiropractor for an exam. They may need to take x-rays, just to be sure, but that is better than many years, weeks, or days of a child having to go through this. Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2002 Report Share Posted June 27, 2002 <<...but I wouldn't give too much of an ear toanyhting coming from a psych. IMHO!>> Why not? Does it hit too close to home? I know of several bed wetting children, and most of those are a result of family dynamics, including attempted family control by the child. If there is not a significant physical origin of the problem, the child is sending a very big message to the family by wetting the bed. If you don't believe in abuse, control, retribution within "normal" family settings, then nothing that I can say will change your mind. Jay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2002 Report Share Posted June 28, 2002 Hi Doc: As a bed wetter into my teen years I can relate that I never once slept on my back, always went to sleep on my stomach and sometimes remember waking in the night on my side, but never my back. Yet I agree wholeheartedly with your suggestions. Anything that might help is worth trying. I know of no child who is a bed wetter beyond say 6, that doesn't have a great deal of stress associated with their problem without any other stress added. It is one of those things that are unspoken beyond the family, and even within the family there isn't much communicaton. I also believe that ALL illness has cause beyond the physical, and that belief has been reinforced many times in my adult life. Jay <<Bedwetting is usually (notice I say usually, not always) a combination of "stress" in a childs life and sensitive kidneys. Part of this sensitivity is caused when a child sleeps on his back and the kidneys are then aggravated. Not only can a mild Kidney Cleanse help (Kidney Formulas are in the "Files"), from the viewpoint of handling the aggravation permanently, but one can usually stop Enuresis (bedwetting) immediately by having the child wear a belt to bed which has a large belt buckle on it and the buckle should be worn on the back not the front. Every time the child rolls over onto his back, the uncomfortable buckle will cause him to either keep rolling until he gets to his other side or cause him to roll back to the side he was already on. Suggest you try it and let us all know how it works out for you.>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2002 Report Share Posted June 28, 2002 I have to agree with Pat on the chiropractor issue with the bed wettting. I occassionally wet untill I was almost 18 and planning my wedding! I did have xrays and was put on meds (which made it worse BTW) What they found was that the nerve near the bladder was too far away from my bladder so it had to be VERY full before I felt ANY urge to go. Since being married I've had several VERY close calls but it usually when I've been having truble with my back and I DO notice a BIGdifference after going to the chiropractor. I know I need to go earlier and the muscles actually seem stronger! This that I had can be a genetic thing, I know my brother was weting till he as at least 15 and my almost 10 yr old sister still wears a pull up to bed( i dont really agree with that approach but oh well! :oP) Does your daughter(or you) notice a lesser sensation of other things? " high tollerance to pain " and such? Possibly something that would stimulate the nerves to have the correct sensations might work ?! Wish I could suggest soething but I'm stil working on it for my self! I often fel like things around me, touching me aren't actually touching me like I'm touching them through a thin layer of plastic or something, not always but sometimes. Mine had nothing to do with an abusive parent father or mother. in young children it may happen because of a fear of things but I wouldn't give too much of an ear toanyhting coming from a psych. IMHO! Mostly let her know she isn't allone in this! maybe a dream journal of sorts may help her, possibly a dietary jouranl too see if you come up with any paralells ie dairy = nightmares/bad dreams= bed wetting that is only an example thea jumps to mind. Also trying to keep sleep schedule level really helps! I know tmes when I was tired an slept realy deep I was more likely to wet the bed, i'd also have dreams I was looking and going to the bathroom. she may notice this herself and once made aware may notice it more and be more able to wake up! My father mentioned it once and that was my " breakthrough rom almost nightly bedwetting to only occasional. Stress levels may be involved, school,tests, friends, worry about someone " finding out " and the list could go on for miles! :oP ok enough rambling from me but maybe an idea or thgouht will at least help you in a direction! ) good luck! marcia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2002 Report Share Posted June 28, 2002 Welllllllll, I'm sorry I got in a little late on this one. But here's my two cents ;o) Bedwetting is usually (notice I say usually, not always) a combination of "stress" in a childs life and sensitive kidneys. Part of this sensitivity is caused when a child sleeps on his back and the kidneys are then aggravated. Not only can a mild Kidney Cleanse help (Kidney Formulas are in the "Files"), from the viewpoint of handling the aggravation permanently, but one can usually stop Enuresis (bedwetting) immediately by having the child wear a belt to bed which has a large belt buckle on it and the buckle should be worn on the back not the front. Every time the child rolls over onto his back, the uncomfortable buckle will cause him to either keep rolling until he gets to his other side or cause him to roll back to the side he was already on. Suggest you try it and let us all know how it works out for you. The ultimate handling is a very thorough Kidney Cleanse followed by a Liver / Gallbladder Flush. Love, Doc Ian "Doc" Shillington N.D.505-772-5889Dr.IanShillington Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 1, 2002 Report Share Posted July 1, 2002 Perhaps it was all that good beer that I began drinking at age 19, in the Marine Corps, that finally relieved the stress and flushed the kidneys - all at the same time! (I never had any more problems.) ;-) Jay In a message dated 6/30/2002 7:02:30 PM Pacific Standard Time, Dr.IanShillington writes: Yes, the stress should be handled first. Love, Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 1, 2002 Report Share Posted July 1, 2002 Yes, the stress should be handled first. Love, Doc Ian "Doc" Shillington N.D.505-772-5889Dr.IanShillington - JayTownsend herbal remedies Thursday, June 27, 2002 10:38 PM Re: [herbal remedies] Re: Bed Wetting Hi Doc:As a bed wetter into my teen years I can relate that I never once slept on my back, always went to sleep on my stomach and sometimes remember waking in the night on my side, but never my back. Yet I agree wholeheartedly with your suggestions. Anything that might help is worth trying. I know of no child who is a bed wetter beyond say 6, that doesn't have a great deal of stress associated with their problem without any other stress added. It is one of those things that are unspoken beyond the family, and even within the family there isn't much communicaton. I also believe that ALL illness has cause beyond the physical, and that belief has been reinforced many times in my adult life.Jay<<Bedwetting is usually (notice I say usually, not always) a combination of "stress" in a childs life and sensitive kidneys. Part of this sensitivity is caused when a child sleeps on his back and the kidneys are then aggravated. Not only can a mild Kidney Cleanse help (Kidney Formulas are in the "Files"), from the viewpoint of handling the aggravation permanently, but one can usually stop Enuresis (bedwetting) immediately by having the child wear a belt to bed which has a large belt buckle on it and the buckle should be worn on the back not the front. Every time the child rolls over onto his back, the uncomfortable buckle will cause him to either keep rolling until he gets to his other side or cause him to roll back to the side he was already on.Suggest you try it and let us all know how it works out for you.>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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