Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies

[Guest guest]

SSRI-Research@

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 16:35:26 -0400

Subject:[sSRI-Research] Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies

 

Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies

 

(www.NewsTarget.com)

-------------------------------

 

The top ten reasons why the U.S. needs more pharmaceutical companies

by Mike Adams

 

1. Cures: We need drug companies to keep finding cures for major

diseases. Look at all the cures they've found so far like... well...

okay, they haven't actually found any cures yet. But maybe they can at

least cure all the bogus diseases they made up like " social anxiety

disorder " and " attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. "

 

2. National Security: U.S. drug companies are crucial for protecting

our national security by banning prescription drugs from untrustworthy

countries like Canada -- which we all know is just a rabble of

war-mongering nitwits who invade third world countries for sport (and

then lie about why they did).

 

3. The Economy: never mind that most pharmaceutical companies sell

useless products at ridiculous prices. All that money changing hands

is great for the economy. You may be diseased, but think on the bright

side: your Big Pharma stocks are soaring! (With all that money, you

might even be able to afford health insurance...)

 

4. Doctors: Without the pharmaceutical companies, what would all the

doctors do for work? After all, most so-called " medicine " involves

little more than scribbling out a prescription for the latest

mass-advertised drug. Without drugs, doctors might actually have to

TALK to patients. Horrors!

 

5. Ethics: With Enron gone, we need a new, national example of strong

ethics that properly communicate the essence of American corporate

greed. Pharmaceutical companies could make Enron look like the Girl

Scouts.

 

6. Political Fundraising: We need drug companies to support the

re-election efforts of honest national leaders like President Bush who,

as we all know, is crucial for protecting our civil liberties.

 

7. Publishers: Without drug company advertising, who would support

all the newspaper and magazine publishers in this country? After all,

many print publications are now little more than pro-drug infomercial

rags dressed up to look like credible news magazines.

 

8. Patient Responsibility: Without drug companies shifting health

responsibility away from patients, the people would actually have to

think for themselves and take control of their own health. That's

simply too much to ask from a dumbed-down population where no child

was left behind (except for the ones who were).

 

9. The Environment: Drug companies set an excellent example of fair

and balanced environmental policy, which is why antidepressant drugs

are now showing up in the water supply. Their new environmental slogan?

" You take it, you flush it, we fuggedaboutit! "

 

10. The Elderly: Everybody agrees we need honest U.S. businesses to

look out for the interests of our elders. Pharmaceutical companies

handle this with finesse by taking over the full monthly incomes of

most retired folks. It's a genuine public service.

 

 

List created on 10/29/2004 by Mike Adams, health columnist,

NewsTarget.com

May be freely republished and shared, with proper credit. Please

forward (with credit) to all who need a health-enhancing laugh. Find

more health humor and health commentary at http://www.NewsTarget.com

 

Subscribe to get more lists like this one (and eye-opening articles

about health) at:

http://www.newstarget.com/ntn-.html