Parent's Glossary

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Parent's Glossary of Kid's Kitchen Terms------------APPETIZING:Anything advertised on TV.BOIL:The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic"Yuck" before a food is even tasted.CASSEROLE:Combination of favorite foods that go uneatenbecause they are mixed together.CHAIR:Spot left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit.COOKIE (LAST ONE):Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling.DESSERTS:The reason for eating a meal.EVAPORATE:Magic trick performed by children when it comestime to clear the table or wash dishes.FAT:Microscopic substance detected visually by childrenon pieces of meat they do not wish to eat.FLOOR:Place for all food not found on lap or chair.FORK:Eating utensil made obsolete by discovery of fingers.FRIED FOODS:Gourmet cooking.FROZEN:Condition of children's jaws when spinach is served.FRUIT:A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.GERMS:The only thing kids will share freely.KITCHEN:The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.LEFTOVERS:Commonly described as "gross."LIVER:A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary dislike.LOLLIPOP:A snack provided by people who don't have to pay dental bills.MACARONI:Material for a collage.MEASURING CUP:A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox.NAPKIN:Any warm cloth object, such as shirt or pants.NATURAL FOOD:Food eaten with unwashed hands.NUTRITION:Secret war waged by parents using direct commands,camouflage, and constant guard duty.PLATE:A breakable Frisbee.REFRIGERATOR:A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner whennot being used as an art gallery.SODA POP:Shake'N Spray.TABLE:A place for storing gum.TABLE LEG:Percussion instrumentTHIRSTY:How your child feels after you've said your final"good night."