More Fun with Club Soda

November 18, 2006

by Chet Day

I'm venturing off the usual path today to share a few

uses I've recently learned about for one of the world's

least appreciated beverages, club soda.

For all you gourmets out there, the next time you zip

into the kitchen to prepare pancakes, waffles, or matzah

balls, try substituting club soda for the liquid normally called for in your favorite recipe.

The taste and size difference will pleasantly surprise

you and your dining companions. Indeed, the matzah balls

will be so soft you'll be able to cut them with a spoon!

Several months ago I shared my poor man's substitute for

a Saturday night bubble bath --eat beans for dinner --

so, in this same vein, today I'd like to share some

directions for the poor man's lava lamp.

First, telephone your best friends and have them come

over to your house. When everyone has arrived, seat them

around a table. Placing them boy-girl, boy-girl will

encourage verbal interaction.

Once everyone is comfortably seated next to a member of

the opposite gender, fill a large, clear glass with club

soda and then drop in two raisins.

Sit back and enjoy the "oohs" and "ahhs" that will burst

from the mouths of your friends as the carbonation in the

club soda causes the raisins to repeatedly bob to the

surface and then sink again.

The poor man's lava lamp is also excellent for nerdy

computer sorts like me who have trouble getting dates or

being the center of attention in social situations.

The next time you feel really out of it, just ask your

hostess for a bottle of club soda, a clear glass, and two raisins. Then, whoa, what fun you'll have!

For those looking to attain social popularity, I

encourage you to always carry a few raisins in your

pocket. By doing so, you can almost always become the

life of the party in a matter of minutes since most hosts

and hostesses will usually have a clear glass and a

bottle of club soda available.

Finally, for my readers and friends who want something practical in each issue of this ezine, try making inexpensive and healthy soft drinks for your kids. You know, the little people who live with you and who would prefer to drink Dr. Pepper over carrot juice or pure water.

The next time they're whining about "Oh, do we have to

drink this healthy junk again?" simply add club soda to

their least-hated fruit juice for a low-cost beverage. Do

be aware of the salt in club soda.

And if your kids continue to whine, whip out your raisins

and demonstrate the poor man's lava lamp.

There's no quicker way to the heart of a child than to

show them how to create a lava lamp of their own while

they're sipping on home-made soft drinks!

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945), quoted Kansas City Star, June 5, 1977

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