Guest guest Posted November 9, 2001 Report Share Posted November 9, 2001 My gift to all of you, this Friday ... SPAM Haiku *Smile* Chris Celtic Sea Salt - Big Sale - Limited Time http://www.alittleolfactory.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Silent, former pig one communal awareness myriad pink bricks Blue can of steel what promise do you hold? salt flesh so ripe Can of metal, slick soft center, so cool, moistening I yearn for your salt Twist, pull the sharp lid Jerks and cuts me deeply but Spam, aaah, my poultice. You wait to feed me stoic vigil on the shelf ah my vibrant pink Jelly for mortar seven hundred tins and more I build a Spam house My friend pork shoulder I return to you. this time I've brought mayonnaise Above all others porcine treat without equal there is but one Spam Clad in metal, proud no mere salt-curing for you you are not bacon And who dares mock Spam? you? you? you are not worthy of one rich pink fleck Grotesque pinkish mass In a blue can on a shelf Quivering alone Like some spongy rock A granite, my piece of Spam In sunlight on my plate Oh Argentina! Your little tin of meat soars Above the pampas The color of Spam is natural as the sky: A block of sunrise Little slab of meat In a wash of clear jelly Now I heat the pan Oh tin of pink meat I ponder what you may be: Snout or ear or feet? In the cool morning I fry up a slab of Spam A dog barks next door Pink tender morsel Glistening with salty gel What the hell is it? Ears, snouts, and innards, A homogenous mass Pass another slice Cube of cold pinkness Yellow specks of porcine fat Give me a spork please Old man seeks doctor " I eat Spam daily " , he says. Angioplasty Highly unnatural The tortured shape of this " food " A small pink coffin Slicing your sweet self Salivating in suspense Sizzle, sizzle...Spam Pink beefy temptress I can no longer remain Vegetarian Queasy, greasy SPAM Slithers without propulsion Across a white plate. Born in World War Two Hogs marching off to battle Dressed in tin armor. The blue can is square Why not a circular can? Too much like dog food. When I was a kid Mom would make SPAM casserole Now she denies it. If you cut open A SPAM can with a jigsaw The blade will smell weird. Myrrh, frankincense, and SPAM: the gifts of two wise men and one complete fool. Bright lights and cruel cops grill the suspect pork product It doesn't confess. Old retired jocks to star in ads for new SPAM Lite " Tastes filling! " " Less great! " After scrutiny, methinks it is doggie food I eat on all fours. In mud you frolicked Till they cut, cleaned and canned you How now, ground sow? Cold SPAM canapes Served up by John Belushi- Martha Stewart's Hell! Slice the cold, pink block Apply to sucking chest wound Don't need stitches now. " Slow down, " she whispered now guiding my trembling hands " Turn the key slowly. " Silken pig tofu The color of spanked buttocks Blushing at my knife. SPAM, too, needs a wife What consort for my Pork Prince? Ah! The Velveeta! SPAM glistens pinkly; Cat taps it with wary paw To see if it's dead. I put my shoes on But remembered far too late My secret SPAM stash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2001 Report Share Posted November 9, 2001 I never did like SPAM - now I just couldn't face it!! - good pome though! Ann - Scotland Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.