Guest guest Posted December 19, 2001 Report Share Posted December 19, 2001 (Lol) Janet December 1 -- Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 -- Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 -- Using candlewick and hand-gilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener. December 4 -- Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. December 5 -- Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. December 6 -- Memorize " Merry Christmas! " in all conceivable languages. December 7 -- Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration December 8 -- Collect dodo-eggs for Grandma's Traditional Eggnog. December 9 -- Debug Windows'98. December 10 -- Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth. December 11 -- Lay Faberge egg. December 12 -- Take Dog apart. Disinfect. Re-assemble. December 13 -- Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts. December 14 -- Install plumbing in gingerbread house. December 15 -- Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade " holiday scents " in case tires are shot out at mall. December 17 -- Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire. December 19 -- Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat. December 20 -- Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture. December 21 -- Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks. December 22 -- Float votive candles in toilet tank. December 23 -- Seed clouds for white Christmas. December 24 -- Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are. December 25 -- Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri. December 26 -- Organize spice racks by genus and phylum. December 27 -- Build snowman in exact likeness of God. December 31 -- New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country. ---------- Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. ---------- Janet Keene Golden M.H., L.M.T., H.At. 608.238.9442 voice 305.847.8331 fax AIM: LovingSense --------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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