Meta-Vaccine Cures Journalist

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Thu, 10 Nov 2005 20:35:02 -0500

[sSRI-Research] Meta-Vaccine Cures Journalist

 

 

 

 

Meta-Vaccine Cures Journalist

 

ALLIANCE FOR HUMAN RESEARCH PROTECTION (AHRP)

Promoting Openness, Full Disclosure, and Accountability

www.ahrp.org

 

FYI

Though the " News Release " (below) is spoof, the battle that has

engulfed UK journalist, Melanie Phillips, over the MMR vaccine

controversy is both real and viscious.

 

As is usually the case with satire, there is enough truth in this

piece to cause those being spoofed just a whee bit discomfort.

 

 

 

 

Contact: Vera Hassner Sharav

212-595-8974

veracare

 

 

NEWS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SPOOF

 

Meta-vaccine Cures Journalist

End in Sight to " No scientific proof " syndrome

 

London, England/Thursday 10 November 2005/ - This week leading UK

journalist Melanie Phillips led the first successful UK clinical

trials of a new treatment for " No scientific proof " syndrome. Ms

Phillips, also a leading media commentator for the UK's Daily and

Sunday Mail newspapers, was seen this week trialling the treatment on

science editor Dr Ben Goldacre of the UK's daily broadsheet newspaper,

the Guardian. Dr Goldacre has been a longstanding and harsh critic of

proponents who have fought long to establish official recognition for

" No scientific proof " syndrome.

 

The results of the trial can be seen here: " The case against me boils

down to smear and evasion " - (By Melanie Phillips - Guardian - Tues

Nov 8, 2005)

 

" No scientific proof " syndrome is a devastating mental disorder,

spread by the " No scientific proof " meta-pathogen. It is initially

carried by government health officials and medical professionals after

infection through exposure to drug company marketing campaigns. The

infectious mechanism is poorly understood but is believed to be spread

by 'phone, email and news releases from carriers. Journalists appear

to be particularly genetically susceptible after only brief exposure.

The syndrome is so named by injured survivors of pharmaceuticals

proven ineffective in placebo trials but often fatal and harmful when

adminstered to human patients. They complain journalists affected by

the syndrome publish stories repeatedly dismissing their claims of

genuine proof of harm with stories repeating there is " No Scientific

Proof " after exposure to infected government and drug company news

releases.

 

A spokesman for drug company OxoBroccoliGrins claimed recently:-

 

" Our marketing campaigns are held under strict laboratory conditions

of quarantine. Regrettably some of the " No scientific proof "

meta-pathogens were accidentally released in an error involving a

Federal Drug Administration official suffering from " FDA confusion

syndrome " a heriditary genetic condition for which there is no known

cure and believed caused by overdoses of drug company stock options. "

 

However, critics and campaigners claim the " No scientific proof "

meta-pathogen was cynically engineered to cause pandemic rates of

infection and create swathes of carriers in government health and

other agencies around the world. The US Centers for Disease Control

and National Institutes of Health have mandated 6000 billion US dollar

expenditure to find the cause, which they say is believed to be

genetic and originating from either the Crab Nebula, a distant galaxy

or a parallel universe. CDC and NIH officials are confident

alternative psychotropic drug treatments can be found in only a few

thousand light years.

 

However, it was the success of initial results of the new UK treatment

that offered new hope and persuaded senior Guardian editors to run the

trial. A Guardian spokesperson said today:-

 

" Some of us had long suspected the claims this syndrome existed were

real and that perhaps Ben is a chronic case. Symptoms reportedly

include recurring acute pain in the buttocks suffered by the work

colleagues of those afflicted " .

 

Details of the treatment is reported in On Evidence, Medical and Legal

which is a recent peer reviewed medico-legal paper published September

2005 in the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons by Professor

Donald W Miller MD, professor of surgery, University of Washington,

Seattle USA and Clifford Miller, an English commercial lawyer,

graduate physicist and former law lecturer, London University.

 

Further details of the treatment are reported in the British Medical

Journal here:-

 

UNRELIABILITY OF SCIENTIFIC PAPERS AS EVIDENCE 12 March 2004

TIME FOR POLITICIANS TO ACT RESPONSIBLY AND ADDRESS THE ISSUES 26

Mar 2004

 

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