Guest guest Posted April 13, 2006 Report Share Posted April 13, 2006 WHAT YOUR DOCTOR SAYS: WHAT HE Really MEANS: ------------------------------- " This should be taken " I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next care of right away. " month, but this is so easy and profitable I want to fix it now before it cures itself. " ------------------------------ " Wellll, what have " Since I haven't the foggiest notion we here? " of what it is, I'm hoping you will give me a clue. " ----------------------- " We'll see. " " First, I have to check my malpractice insurance. " ------------------------ " Let me check your " I want to see if you've paid your medical history. " last bill before spending any more time with you. " ------------------------- " Why don't we make " I'm playing golf this afternoon. " another appointment -or- later in the week? " " I need the money, so I'm charging you for another office visit. " --------------------- " I really can't recommend " I hate those guys mooching in on seeing a chiropractor. " our fees. " ----------------------- " Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. " " Since I haven't the faintest idea of what to do, I'm trying to appear thoughtful while hoping the nurse will interrupt. (Proctologists say this a lot.) -------------------- " We have some good news " The good news is I'm going to buy and some bad news. " that new BMW, and the bad news is you're going to pay for it. " ----------------------- " Let's see how it " Maybe in a few days it will grow develops. " into something that can be cured. " ------------------------- " Let me schedule you for " I have a 40% interest in the lab. " some tests. " ------------------------- " I'd like to have my " He's going through a messy divorce associate look at you. " and I lent him a small fortune. " -------------------------- " How are we today? " " I feel great. You, on the other hand, look like hell. " ------------------------ " I'd like to prescribe a " I'm writing a paper and would like new drug. " to use you as a guinea pig. " ----------------------- " If it doesn't clear up in " I don't know what the hell it is. a week, give me a call. " Maybe it will go away by itself. " ------------------------- " That's quite a nasty " I think I'm going to throw up. " looking wound. " -------------------------- " This may smart a little. " " Last week, two patients bit through their tongues. " ------------------------ " Well, we're not feeling so " I can't remember your name, nor why well today, are we? " you are here. " ------------------------- " This should fix you up. " " The drug salesman guaranteed that it kills all symptoms. " ------------------------ " Everything seems to be " I guess I can't buy that new beach normal. " condo after all. " ------------------------ " I'd like to run some more " I can't figure out what's wrong. tests. " Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. " ----------------------- " Do you suppose all of this " I think you're crazy and maybe stress could be affecting there's a psychiatrist around who your nerves? " will split the fees. " ------------------------ " Why don't you slip out of " I don't enjoy this any more than you your things. " do, but I've got to warm my fingers up somehow. " -or- " I haven't had a good laugh all day. " ------------------------ " If those symptoms persist, " I've never heard of anything so call for an appointment. " disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week. " -------------------------- " There's a lot of that " My God, that's the third one this going around. " week. I'd better learn something about this. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.