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AUGUST 23, 2006 Bongo News, Inc.

 

Larry King Covers JonBenet Ramsey Case

While World War III Starts

 

by Van Gross, MD

 

NEW YORK — Unperturbed by the fact that the Middle

Eastern population has been reduced to three camels

with thyroid cancer, Larry King clung to his scheduled

CNN television programming.

 

On his interview show, he will have the family of

accused JonBenet Ramsey killer, John Mark Karr, and

take phone calls from his worldwide audience, many of

whom are dealing with mild cases of acute leukemia

induced Tuesday by six or seven hundred

internationally detonated atomic bomb explosions.

 

" It's true that most of the United States consists of

corpses at this point, " King said, " but I'm sure

match.com will take care of that problem in no time.

Dr. Phil is still alive and he's going door to door

looking for life partners to mate with the 34 people

left in lower Cleveland. In fact, we hope to have Dr.

Phil on tomorrow. He's not losing any hair from the

radiation because he started out bald. We're having

him on with Dr. Shlomo Shapiro who does transplants

for guys with male pattern baldness. "

 

King believed Hezbullah operatives with suitcase nukes

marauding most of the area east of the Rocky Mountains

were entitled to little airtime on his show " unless

they can work out something with John Walsh to make it

more of a human interest story. Something like

Hezbullah operatives dating John Walsh or at least

kidnapping something under the age of seven John

knows. "

 

Although millions lay dead in the U.S. after hundreds

of nuclear explosions, King felt obliged to present

the Ramsey follow-up story.

“It's been almost 10 years and Patsy would have

wanted this expose. In fact, we'll probably exhume her

dead body and plop it on the seat opposite me on Larry

King Live. We'll call it Larry King Dead.

" Plus, why was Karr in Thailand? " the occasionally

probing CNN host continued. " He takes out a little

girl and now he's eating dog soup? Got to ask his

family if he ever showed any hankering for Alpo as a

kid.”

 

 

 

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