O.B.L. as Trophy for punters

[Guest guest]

Bush To Announce Capture

of Osama Bin Laden on 911 Anniversary

 

by Kamal El-Din

 

Unconfirmed sources report that the CIA has captured

terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden.

Bin Laden was apparently captured three months ago in

a secret raid deep into the tribal areas of Pakistan.

The CIA has had Bin Laden in a secret Afghan prison

and has been interviewing him with 'alternative

methods'.

The CIA has apparently been instructed to keep his

capture secret until the President could announce it

at a politically advantages time.

 

Military sources close to the operation confirm that

Osama Bin Laden was captured in a special forces raid

on a remote mountain hideaway. Osama had been living

with a family of goat herders in a tiny one room mud

brick home.

He was apparently unarmed and didn't even have a

single body guard. He was taken by helicopter to a

secret CIA facility in Afghanistan where he is

apparently still being questioned.

 

The White House was immediately informed of the

capture and imposed quarantine on all personnel who

had knowledge of the capture. It was decided that the

news of the capture would only be released when it

could be used to achieve the maximum political benefit

for the President and the Republican party. The news

of Osama Bin Laden's capture would be announced on the

anniversary of 911 and in the heat of the midterm

elections.

 

" You have to hand it to the President, his handlers

really know how to put on a show. " Says Washington

insider Clint Gerschorne. " I was amazed when the

President started taking about Osama Bin Laden again.

I mean, the failure of Bush to capture Bin Laden is

such a black mark on his Presidency you'd think he'd

never talk about it.

Which he hasn't, till now. It makes perfect sense

now. Of course he is going to mention Bin Laden 17

times in one speech, they have him. It's brilliant.

Truly brilliant. "

 

" If it's true this spells big trouble for the

Democrats. " Says pundit Andrew Carlson. " Catching

Osama Bin Laden will make the midterm elections a walk

for the Republicans. They will prove to the nation

that even though it took five years, half a trillion

dollars, 3000 lives, and two wars, they got their

man. "

 

 

c unconfirmed sources