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OT: Dear Abby

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Make that Damn Yankee, LOL as I stir the cauldron.

Janet

 

>Dear Abby:

>

>Due to having received a Dishonorable Discharge from the U.S. Army for

>Cowardice Under Fire, I find that I can't get a decent job so I am now a

>crack dealer in New Jersey ... and recently I have been diagnosed as a

>carrier of the HIV virus. My parents and their lovers live together in

>a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, an alcoholic, lives in

>Bensenville with her husband, who is a transvestite.

>

>My father and mother have recently been arrested for selling marijuana

>at the local grammar school and when they get out of jail they will

>likely be dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in

>Jersey City.

>

>I have two brothers. One is currently serving a life without parole

>sentence in Attica for the rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994.

>

>The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand

>Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

>

>I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who

>Lives in the Bronx and is still a part time " working girl " in a brothel.

>

>Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her

>as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested

>in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute

>themselves, it would be good to get them off the street, and hopefully,

>off their heroin habits.

>

>All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and

>look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be

>totally honest with her. I want to tell her all the details about my

>family.

>

>But should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?

>

>Signed,

>Worried About My Reputation

>

>

>Y'all can substitute other things for French if you like .. some good

>recommendations would be .. Yankee .. or .. Democrat. ;-p

>

>

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Dear Abby:

 

Due to having received a Dishonorable Discharge from the U.S. Army for

Cowardice Under Fire, I find that I can't get a decent job so I am now a

crack dealer in New Jersey ... and recently I have been diagnosed as a

carrier of the HIV virus. My parents and their lovers live together in

a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, an alcoholic, lives in

Bensenville with her husband, who is a transvestite.

 

My father and mother have recently been arrested for selling marijuana

at the local grammar school and when they get out of jail they will

likely be dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in

Jersey City.

 

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a life without parole

sentence in Attica for the rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994.

 

The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand

Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

 

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who

Lives in the Bronx and is still a part time " working girl " in a brothel.

 

Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her

as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested

in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute

themselves, it would be good to get them off the street, and hopefully,

off their heroin habits.

 

All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and

look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be

totally honest with her. I want to tell her all the details about my

family.

 

But should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?

 

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

 

 

Y'all can substitute other things for French if you like .. some good

recommendations would be .. Yankee .. or .. Democrat. ;-p

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