OT: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ??

June 4, 2003

Hey y'all,

Time to smile .. :-) Butch

-

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.

The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle

ground here.

JACQUES CHIRAC: It matters not that the chicken successfully crossed

the road .. I was and am still opposed to the entire movement. There

was no evidence that crossing the road would result in giving those

chicks hope for a better future. And as a result of this, the French

nation is now on strike and boycotting both roads and chickens.

GERHARDT SCHROEDER: If the chicken had been of a pure blood line it

would not have crossed the road at this time. History has shown that

patience, proper preparation and belief in it's superiority would have

shown that staying in place until it was better prepared to conquer the

fields on the other side would have been a far better decision.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you

mean by " chicken " ? Could you define " chicken " , please?

KEN STARR: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the

behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to

distract law enforcement officials and the American public from

systematic criminal wrongdoings our highest elected official has been

trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in

the President's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and

undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer

the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our

investigation. And furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to

reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any

Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also

are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the

Reverend Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an

effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or

at least to ruffle his feathers.)

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't

you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was

going to the " other side. " That's what they call it -- the other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you

will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out

this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly

harmless phrases like " the other side. "

COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the

satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Heh .. I thought I answered that question already.

GENERAL TOMMY FRANKS: Ask my public relations staff officer. I'm not

here to give interviews .. my mission is to kill chickens.

JOHN ASHCROFT: I can't release that information at this time as its

still under investigation. I will say, however, that the naked chicken

has now been appropriately dressed.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have

not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This incident, like the Kurds protesting against my

rule, was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in

dropping 50 tons of nerve gas (which we didn't have) on the chicken.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Ex-Iraq ambassador): The chicken did not cross the

road. This is a complete American fabrication. We don't even have a

chicken. In fact, if you will listen to our Minister of Propaganda, we

don't even have any roads.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the

chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two

different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to

bring greater services to the American people.

THE POPE: What Chicken? Uhhhh .. yea .. My Blessings ... zzzzzzzzz

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll

bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet

someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens

with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more

of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing a road paid for by

their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your

money folks, money the government took from you to build these roads for

chickens to cross.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the Black Man.

The chicken really crossed the Black Man in order to trample him and

keep him down.

TAMMY BAKER: Ohhhhhhhh .. the poor chicken. God has asked me to share

this information with you all .. sob, sob, sob. Please send a minimum

of $5 to our ministry so I can share the beautiful information with you.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called to advise me which way that chicken was

going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs

when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any

insider information.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had

been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not

reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was

crushed beneath the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be

free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be

listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming

story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to

accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

DR. SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, The chicken crossed the road.

But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend

to the death its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many

more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken

crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only

cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and

balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part

of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road

move beneath the chicken?

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good

enough for us.

NAHA: No comment!

ARC: We don't know. We understand that the chicken was contracted by

our organization but the chicken still refuses to provide us with any

information.

GARY YOUNG: It was ordained. The chicken heard God's message and came

to seek my amazing healing powers.

COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?

BUTCH: To get to the other side?

Y'all keep smiling, Butch :-) http://www.AV-AT.com

June 5, 2003

Butch,

Did you write this? It has you all over it. Positively brilliant. What

ever happened to Ken Starr. Guess he won't be a Supreme like he wanted.

Sherry

> Hey y'all,

>

> Time to smile .. :-) Butch

> -

June 5, 2003

Wasn't that wonderful??? I laughed my a$$ off when I read that! Did you