flaming - dialogue or discussion

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Copyright, The Dialogue Group. The following text has been

excerpted and abridged from the writings of Glenna Gerard and Linda

Ellinor of The Dialogue Group. We hope it will be helpful in your

exploration of dialogue. Please feel free to copy and distribute it as

long as you reference the source appropriately and provide contact

information for The Dialogue Group. Thank you.

 

Dialogue is about what we value and how we define it. It is about

discovering what our true values are, about looking beyond the

superficial and automatic answers to our questions. Dialogue is about

expanding our capacity for attention, awareness and learning with and

from each other. It is about exploring the frontiers of what it means

to be human, in relationship to each other and our world. --Glenna

Gerard, 1995.

 

Dialogue is a foundational communication process leading directly to

personal and organizational transformation. It assists in creating

environments of high trust and openness, with reflective and

generative capacities. One might think of dialogue as a revolutionary

approach in the development of the following organizational

disciplines: continuous learning, diversity, conflict exploration,

decision making and problem solving, leadership, self-managing teams,

organizational planning and alignment, and culture change.--Linda

Ellinor , 1996

 

DIALOGUE: SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW

 

David Bohm traces the roots of Dialogue to the Greek " dia " and " logos "

which means " through meaning. " One might think of Dialogue as a stream

of meaning flowing among and through a group of people, out of which

may emerge some new understanding, something creative. Dialogue moves

beyond any one individual's understanding, to make explicit the

implicit and build collective meaning and community.

 

 

It is often useful to contrast Dialogue with discussion. In Dialogue

we are interested in creating a fuller picture of reality rather than

breaking it down into fragments or parts, as happens in discussion. In

Dialogue we do not try to convince others of our points of view. There

is no emphasis on winning, but rather on learning, collaboration and

the synthesis of points of view.

 

 

Dialogue slows down the speed at which most groups converse by

employing deeper levels of listening and reflection. Another important

aspect of Dialogue is its open-endedness. This means letting go of the

need for specific results. This does not mean there are no results

from Dialogue; in fact there are many. However, in releasing the need

for certain predetermined outcomes, important issues can be allowed by

surface which often go undiscovered in agenda-based meetings. The

result is often a deeper level of understanding and new insight.

 

 

A final important aspect of Dialogue is that it creates a

community-based culture of cooperation and shared leadership. It moves

groups from the dependency, competition and exclusion often found in

hierarchical cultures to increased collaboration, partnership and

inclusion.

 

DIALOGUE CONTRASTED WITH DISCUSSION

 

It is often useful to contrast Dialogue with a more familiar form of

communication, discussion.

Discussion has the same Greek root as percussion and concussion,

discus, meaning to throw, fragment, shatter. David Bohm likened

discussion to an activity where we throw our opinions back and forth

in an attempt to convince each other of the rightness of a particular

point of view. In this process, the whole view is often fragmented and

shattered into many pieces.

 

 

The intentions of dialogue and discussion are quite different and are

contrasted below.

 

Dialogue Discussion

To inquire to learn To tell, sell, persuade

To unfold shared meaning To gain agreement on one meaning

To integrate multiple perspectives To evaluate and select the best

To uncover and examine assumptions To justify/defend assumptions

 

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF DIALOGUE

 

 

 

Skill Building Blocks and Guidelines for Dialogue

 

The building blocks and behavioral guidelines outlined below are

concepts that form a scaffolding for Dialogue. Like the scaffolding

used in construction to aid in the initial stages of building, they

are meant to help provide an environment conducive to unfolding the

dialogical process.

 

 

Rather than a set of rules, you might think of them as reminders of

the level of attention which lies at the core of Dialogue. Attention

to our thinking, our feelings, our communication, assumptions and

judgments. Attention to the unfolding meaning of the group, the spirit

of inquiry and the pauses for reflection that lead to learning and

understanding.

 

 

Held lightly, these guidelines and building blocks will help you enter

into Dialogue. Held too firmly, they will trap you in just one more

structure and limiting system. Dialogue is a living process and

requires the willingness of all participants to be open to letting go

of the known in order to discover new perspectives and understanding.

As one writer so eloquently put it, " We must be prepared in each

moment to give up (our ideas of) who we are to discover all we may

become. "

 

 

So, by all means use these guidelines to help you begin your

exploration of Dialogue, and in each moment, be prepared to release

them and let your attention guide you to the next level of learning.

 

FOUR SKILL BUILDING BLOCKS

 

 

Suspension of Judgment

 

Of all the building blocks, suspension of judgment is the foundation

for Dialogue, and perhaps, the most challenging. Our normal way of

thinking divides, organizes and labels. Because our egos become

identified with how we think things are we often find ourselves

defending our positions against those of others. This makes it

difficult for us to stay open to new and alternative views of reality.

It is hard to listen when we are engaged in a heated battle about

" who's right and who's wrong! "

 

 

When we learn to suspend judgment, to " hold our positions more

lightly " , we open the door to see others' points of view. It is not

that we do away with our judgments and opinions - this would be

impossible. We simply create a space between our judgment and our

reaction, and thus open a door for listening.

 

 

Suspending judgment is also a key to building a climate of trust and

safety. As we learn that we will not be " judged " wrong for our

opinions, we feel freer to express ourselves. The atmosphere becomes

more open and truthful.

 

 

Assumption Identification

 

Identify means " to recognize, to pick out from your surroundings, to

feel one with. " Assumptions are " those things which are assumed or

thought to be " . So to identify assumptions is to recognize, or

identify, that which we think is so.

 

 

It is probably obvious to most of us that our assumptions play a large

role in how we evaluate our environment, the decisions we make and how

we behave. Yet, it is just this aspect of our thinking that we

consistently overlook when we seek to solve problems, resolve

conflicts, or create synergy among diverse people.

 

 

Why do we overlook the obvious? David Bohm would say because our

" assumptions are transparent to us " . They are such a built-in part of

our seeing apparatus that we do not even know they are there. We look

right through them.

 

 

Our failure to look at underlying belief systems can lead to

disappointing results. When we examine the underlying assumptions

behind our decisions and actions we reach to the causal level of

problem solving. We are able to identify where there are disconnects

in our strategies and take more effective actions.

 

 

By learning how to identify our assumptions, we can also explore

differences with others, work to build common ground and consensus,

and get to the bottom of core misunderstandings and differences.

 

 

Listening: Key to Perception

 

Take a minute, right now, to ask yourself for your personal definition

of listening. Think about that activities you identify with listening?

How do you know you are listening? Being listened to? What does

listening feel like? How could your listening be enhanced?

 

 

The way we listen, has a lot to do with our capacity to learn and

build quality relationships with others. When we are able to suspend

judgment and listen to diverse perspectives we expand and deepen our

world view. It is the act of listening that allows for integration and

synthesis of new insights and possibilities. When we listen deeply we

are willing to be influenced by and learn from others.

 

 

In Dialogue, listening also involves developing our ability to

perceive the meaning arising both at the individual level and within

the group. What assumptions are we hearing, which ones are shared?

Listening for shared meaning informs us about the culture we live in,

and presents us with the opportunity to make choices about our

decisions and actions (rather than moving unconsciously, on auto-pilot).).

 

 

Inquiry and Reflection

 

Inquiry and refection are about learning how to ask questions with the

intention of gaining additional insight and perspective. Through this

process we dig deeply into matters that concern us and create

breakthroughs in our ability to solve problems.

 

 

Inquiry elicits information. Reflection permits the inspection of

information and the perception of relationships. The combination of

reflection and inquiry enables us to learn, to think creatively, and

to build on past experience (versus simply repeating the same patterns

over and over again).

 

 

By learning how to ask questions that lead to new levels of

understanding we accelerate our collective learning. Such questions

often begin with " I wonder... " , " what if.... " , " what does xxx mean to

you? " As we ask these questions and listen, we gain greater awareness

into our own and others' thinking processes and the issues that

separate and unit us.

 

 

By creating pauses to reflect, we learn to work with silence and slow

down the rate of conversation. We become able to identify assumptions

and reactive patterns and open the door for new ideas and possibilities.

 

 

Interlocking Building Blocks: Weaving the Dialogue

 

Each of the building blocks is an integral part of the Dialogue. They

are living parts, which, like the organs of our bodies, constantly

work to support the form they are part of. In each moment, the

building blocks weave both the context within which the Dialogue

unfolds and act as catalysts to support the unfolding itself. The more

consciously we use them, the more they help us to enter into and

sustain the Dialogue.

 

 

And, all the skills are interrelated. For example, as we begin to draw

aside the curtains of our judgments, we develop the capacity to speak

and listen without the automatic coloring of past thought patterns. We

become less reactive, more aware of the assumptions through which we

filter our observations. Choosing to suspend these assumptions, we may

experiment with expanding the horizons of our perceptions, increasing

the number of points of view available to us. By creating space to

reflect on what we are perceiving, seeking the next level of inquiry,

opening up our senses and listening deeply, with the intention to

discover and understand we enter into Dialogue.

 

BEHAVIORS THAT SUPPORT DIALOGUE

 

 

Suspension of judgement when listening and speaking. When we listen

and suspend judgment we open the door to expanded understanding. When

we speak without judgment we open the door for others to listen to us.

 

 

Respect for differences. Our respect is grounded in the belief that

everyone has an essential contribution to make and is to be honored

for the perspective which only they can bring.

 

 

Role and status suspension. Again, in dialogue, all participants and

their contributions are absolutely essential to developing an

integrated whole view. No one perspective is more important than any

other Dialogue is about power with, versus power over or power under.

 

 

Balancing inquiry and advocacy. In dialogue we inquire to discover and

understand others perspectives and ideas and we advocate to offer our

own for consideration. The intention is to bring forth and make

visible assumptions, relationships and gain new insight and understanding.

 

 

We often tend to advocate to convince others of our positions

Therefore a good place to start with this guideline is to practice

bringing more inquiry into the conversation.

 

 

Focus on learning. Our intention is to learn to from each other, to

expand our view and understanding, versus evaluate and determine who

has the " best " view.

 

 

When we are focused on learning we tend to ask more questions, try new

things. We are willing to disclose our thinking so that we can see

both what is working for us and what we might want to change. We want

to hear from all parties so that we can gain the advantage of

differing perspectives.

 

 

SUGGESTED READINGS

 

 

If you would like to do further reading about dialogue and related

areas we suggest the following.

 

Bohm, David and Edwards, Mark. Changing Consciousness, Exploring the

Hidden Source of the Social, Political and Environmental Crises Facing

our World. Pegasus, New York, NY. 1992.

 

Bohm, David. On Dialogue. David Bohm Seminars. Ojai, CA.

 

Bohm, David. Unfolding Meaning. A weekend of Dialogue with David Bohm.

Ark Paperbacks, 1985.

 

Cook, Scott D.N. and Yanow, Davora. Culture and Organizational

Learning. The Journal of Management Inquiry, Vol. 2 No. 4, December 1993.

 

Freidman, Maurice. Dialogue and the Human Image. Beyond Humanistic

Psychology. Sage Publications, Newbury Park, CA 1992.

 

Jawaorski, Joseph. Synchronicity. Berrett-Kohler, San Francisco, CA, 1997.

 

Johnston, Charles M., M.D. Necessary Wisdom, Meeting the Challenge of

a New Cultural Maturity. ICD Press. Seattle, WA. 1991.

 

Senge, Peter M. The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the

Learning Organization. Doubleday/Currency, New York. 1990.

 

Wheatley, Margaret J. Leadership and the New Science. Berrett-Koehler,

1992.

 

Wheatley, Margaret J. a simpler way. Berrett-Koehler, 1997.

 

Isaacs, William. Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together. Doubleday,

NY, 1999.

 

Yankelovich's, Daniel. The Magic of Dialogue. Simon and Schuster, NY,

1999.